Left out at work?

[NevilleLong]

Not sure if I'm being unreasonable or not.

Jacob's join is a frequent event at my place of work and I always cook and contribute. Normally a list is put up on the staff room door. This time there wasn't.

Overheard a conversation today about it, a colleague asked me what I was bringing. Explained I hadn't been told about it and know nothing about it. She said doesn't matter you can still eat something.

Colleague who has organised it is bringing her halogen oven so everyone can warm up food.

Just so happens, I stuck up for another colleague to the person who has organised the jacons join as she is almost impossible to work with. Think bossy, micromanaging, reading your emails etc.

I've got a lot of stress at home atm but to be deliberately left out, is not something I would personally do.

Our manager tells us to sort things out between ourselves!

But did they not ask if you got the invite or if anyone mentioned it to you?

@Coconutter24 No. They didn't ask me. They didn't ask if I knew about it, they didn't tell me it was happening, I knew nothing about it. At all.

So you over hear people talking about it, you then ask the organiser if everyone is invited, she tells you everyone is invited…. Then what? She walks away with no further conversation?

If it's a shared mailbox she isn't reading your emails. She's reading emails that comes to the shared inbox.

Do you know how it was communicated? Your other work colleague seemed to be happy to invite you.

Are you sure it's not an oversight?

And if it was intentional by your own admission this woman isn't nice. It's sounds true to form
For her.

It's never nice to feel excluded but go along and stick to the people you like.

So a “bring and share” (we have one today!) you’re making a massive assumption.

I didn’t know about our bring and share until last week…. I’ve been off for an operation……. No, I don’t think anyone has purposely left you out. Just grab a bag of crisps and a bottle of pop on your way to work. 🤷‍♀️

its biblical rather than geographical, Jacob sent his sons out to bring food back during a 7 year famine.

It’s called a fuddle in Derbyshire - it’s funny for different areas have different names.

I would have brought something really extravagant to annoy the organiser (better version of whatever she was bringing), who is being extremely petty! Probably not the best response though. Could you just ask in front of colleagues why you weren’t included to call out her pettiness?

Try to rise above it.

Oh!
Interesting.

I've not heard it called that in ANY of the Churches I've been to where we've had bring and share meals. You'd think - if that were the case - then church goers might use the term, if anyone does

It hasn't happened yet? Then make or buy something to bring in. IF this was deliberate, the best revenge will be turning up and joining in as if nothing happened to disrupt that! If it happened by accident, all good too.

If this person is disrupting the rest of the team's work, go and see your manager as a group so they know it's a shared feeling and ask them to deal with it. You'll get better results that way.

I’d ignore it. Either you were excluded by the Pot Luck Overlord deliberately, more likely it was a simple mistake. Either way I take it a stroke of good luck you didn’t have to faff about with devilled eggs. Who wants food poising anyway 🤢