Been dating a guy for a couple of months. He’s not from the U.K.
From his short time living here, he seems to have gathered that Brits like banter. I genuinely do like this and it’s an important part of a relationship for me. I’m jolly good at it too!
Our first two dates he was a perfect gentleman and so sweet, but then he seemed to pick up on the fact that I liked a bit of a joking and light playfulness and jibing, and it has gotten out of control from there.
Now, he doesn’t bloody stop with it, and it’s become our “thing” that he’s always just taking jibes at me. We joke now about how he never says anything nice and he’s always mean to me.
He absolutely isn’t being intentionally mean to be malicious. I suspect there’s some neurodiversity at play, and/or he is trying (and failing) to behave how he thinks he should with a British woman.
I reached my limit today when I was trying to talk about something serious that happened at work and he just kept making jokes. I ended up making an excuse to get off the phone because I was so irritated.
He has many many redeeming features (thoughtful, considerate, fun) and it’d be a shame to have to end things here, but I’m reaching my limit with the “banter” and would quite like some normal couple-like romance and, dare I say, a compliment once in a while. I don’t want some slimy man who’s letching or simpering all over me, but somewhere in the middle would be nice.
I have only ever raised it to him lightheartedly before, but he seems to just think that’s part of the banter, and carries on.
AIBU to raise this with him more seriously, before I either cut my losses or resign myself to a relationship akin to a boy’s locker room?
And if so…how do I get him to understand, without sounding like I’m still joking, or sounding like I’m being a miserable bitch and starting an argument.
I’m due to see him Sunday night for a date and I really want to say something before then. I really don’t think it’s malicious so I don’t want to be unkind, but I’m really over it.