To not invite best friends partner?

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Long story short I'm getting married in 2026, best friend (of 10+ years) has been with this guy about 6 months

I've invited them both round for dinner multiple times and he declines every time but friend comes. He declines because he can't be bothered or doesn't want to not because he already has plans.

When I go to friends house he disappears upstairs - we get on there's no dislike towards each other but merely just a pleasant conversation

At this point I don't want to invite him to the wedding if he can't even bothered to do any of the above?

Aibu to not want to invite? What would you do?

Invite him and expect him to decline.

I would invite her and a plus one and just ask for it to be confirmed by a certain date if a plus one is coming.

I’d invite him for her sake, but if you’re keen on using the space for someone else, I’d give her her invite earlier than everyone else, tell her that he’s very welcome but not to feel pressured to come as you’re guessing it’s probably not his thing, but could she let you know urgently so you can give his space to someone else if he doesn’t want it.

Absolutely 💯 do not invite him if he doesn't even make an effort when it's not a wedding. The wedding is meant to be a gathering of those that love and cherish you to share your special day. It costs you money to have people there, and if he's not even arsed to say hello to you when you're at the place he lives I'd say nope. When the friend kicks off about the invite, say he makes no effort, so you're not wasting a place on him. Harsh but realistic.

Your wedding is over a year away so I wouldn't give it too much headspace just yet.

Just invite your friend. Or your friend +1

If they've only been together 6 months, he's a bit weird around you, and the wedding isn't until 2026 I really wouldn't be worrying about it yet.

She could have found somebody else and had a child with them by then!

I'd give her a save the date and speak to her to say you'd love them both to come but don't feel you know him well enough yet so perhaps you could get together in the New Year.

Alternatively make her a bridesmaid and make it subtley but repeatedly clear that her duties mean that he will be alone most of the day.

It's more than a year away.... see what the relationship is like this time next year (or even later than that!)

I wouldn’t worry about it until you are due to send invites out. It’s over a year away they could be over by then

Yes I would invite him, unless it is a very very tiny wedding and other friends are not having partners invited. Potentially this man will be in your life for the rest of your life if she ends up being your best friend's life partner. If your friend is still with him at the time of the wedding, it would be a major snub to her not to invite him. It's annoying, but I think that if you value your friendship you should invite him.

I would invite him, for your friend's sake and if he's as antisocial as he sounds, he'll probably decline anyway!

This is the only post making sense other than the it's over a year away don't worry ones. It's costing £86pp for just the meal, also we're capping at 60 so places are crucial

Yes just my wedding because that's what my post is about and the details of our conversations are not relevant. As far as you need to know they are a good couple, I just don't appreciate his lack of effort when I will be paying almost £100.

I saw your other post about what could be the long story. The long story would include all details and conversations had regarding his lack of effort.

I wouldn’t see it as spending money on him, I would see it as spending it on making sure your best friend was happy and felt welcome at your wedding.

dont put her in a position of feeling awkward about it.

Alternatively make her a bridesmaid and make it subtley but repeatedly clear that her duties mean that he will be alone most of the day. @BeensOnToost gave an excellent option to not invite.

They've been together for 6 months. Your wedding is over a year away. Why are you stressing about this now?? You don't even need to be sending any invitations out for at least another 9 months...chances are they won't even be together at that point 🤷‍♀️ But if they are...make your decision then! 🤦‍♀️

Maybe he is ND and has anxiety. My husband of 20+ years doesn’t like socialising and stays upstairs. He would be bored by wedding conversations. Including his own wedding 😂

if I get offered a plus one for him from friends then I decline as he would be annoying me when I want to dance and socialise with people.

ask your friend what she thinks? No point inviting him if he won’t enjoy or just not turn up on the day. Tell her that you want him to be comfortable.

if you just pull the invitation, it will cause drama