Teacher telling 7yo that Father Christmas not real

[Peaceandquietandacuppa]

Is it reasonable for a RE teacher to tell 7 year olds that Father Christmas isn’t real?

My 7 year old DS has just told me that his RE teacher told the class Father Christmas “isn’t real” today. He isn’t one to over-exaggerate. I asked if any of the kids prompted it by asking and he said no, she just said it.

If you think it’s unreasonable, would you say anything to the school?

YABU - teachers are fine to say FC is not real at the age of 7

YANBU - let the kids / parents decide if FC is real. Just don’t say anything!

Yes I am and yes there are teachers who have specialist subjects but they will fall within their general role of EYFS, KS1 or KS2 teacher, so each will head up literacy/maths/PSHE etc as part of their overall teaching role but it will be a relatively small part of their position within the wider context of their teaching role - it’s very different to secondary which I also have experience of. In this case I would definitely check context - it is extremely easy for even a very bright child at this age to get the wrong end of the stick and I would always approach this sort of conversation with caution until you know all of the facts and have spoken to staff directly.

If the question was asked, there are a million ways to answer whilst remaining neutral and not spoil it for likely a majority of children at that age who do believe.

I'd love to know what the teacher ACTUALLY said. There is a difference between 'SC is actually your dad dressed up' and 'Christmas is not all about presents and SC'

Thats totally out of order. Fuck this person.

Oh gosh, of course most 7 year olds believe. I'm hoping we have at least another couple of years. They're still so little. Why would anyone want to ruin the magic for them.

Absolutely! Mine believed for a lot longer than that and I'd have been furious about a teacher saying this.

What a miserable asshole. That is bang out of order. It’s up to parents when to drop that news.

I went to catholic school and believed in Santa till the ancient age of ten. The nuns didn’t say anything about FC to us…..

My neighbour’s children are also Catholic and very much still believe in FC at 5 and 9, so I think sadly your son’s RE teacher is a loon, most conservative Catholics allow for Santa because he is a symbol of St Nicolas.

I would absolutely complain.

Your primary school has different teachers for different subjects? 🤔
Do the children move to another classroom or do the teachers come to them?

My school did. Different teacher for sport & RE. We went to another room. For a lot of religious schools most of their staff won’t be religious so it makes sense that they have a separate teacher for RE.

My snivelling wart of an ex son-in-law dropped it (with a couple of days to go) on his son when he had just turned four.
Ruined Christmas for him & his mum.

Co-parenting with a malignant narcissist is horrible.

Yes she is right, I expect a couple of the children asked and the teacher could hardly lie. Father Christmas isn't real! Children can be told about St Nicholas and others from whence the myth originated and it's fun to pretend but there comes a point where pretending stops. I certainly never believed in the Santa myth when I was seven, I doubt many did. It strikes me that parents get a lot more upset about it than their children.

Hadn’t heard of this before secondary.

Aw no, that’s so awful.

Did the teacher tell him about the wonderful generosity of St Nicolas, and how he gave gifts to people secretly, and how he inspired the folk tale of Father Christmas? Or did they just say FC is rubbish?
I would be disappointed that the teacher had stolen the magic of Christmas, but would be less dismayed if the teacher had shared how we come to know Father Christmas and how the essence of the idea of beautiful and once to celebrate and enjoy

I always thought mine still believed until much older than that but found out later that they had actually sussed it out quite early on, as had caught us creeping in to put the presents in their room but had pretended to be asleep. They never let on until much older and obviously knew the truth by then that they had been pretending to believe for years!

He’s a monster.
Enjoys other people’s pain. 😢

I completely disagree with the concept of Father Christmas. It's actively lying to your children, and making them believe illogical and impossible things. It disrupts their critical thinking and is a huge let down when they realise it's all a lie. On a grim note, I also don't think that it's sensible for children to ever believe that intruders are a good idea.

With that out of the way, it is simply not a primary school teacher's place to be disrupting this prominent cultural behaviour. Teachers need to teach, and stop ideologically interfering or pushing their own beliefs.

Yes unless their parents are shit at being fun parents and/or aren't culturally into it.

I probably wouldn’t check with him, I would just ask at school or ask other parents if their child also repeated this. I work with 10/11 year olds and we would never say this.

Sorry, but I think 7 is an age when they should probably learn that FC is not real. There have been quite a few discussions on here where people mentioned finding out at later ages and being quite traumatized by being lied to for such a long time. And letting everyone know now, together, as a group - at an age when none of the kids is going to be teased by peers if their reaction in class makes it clear that they believed up until this point - is a way of ensuring that some of the kids don't get mocked by other kids at 10 or 11 when it gets out that they still believe in FC.

I think some of the parents here (especially nowadays? At my school in the 80s, I'm pretty sure everyone knew by 7 or 8 anyway?) are letting this stuff drag on way too long. I don't think it encourages critical thinking, and it creates the risk of teasing and humiliation at some point.

Just asked adult DD what she thought (friend told her FC not real when she was 5). She reckons some and some with 7yr olds believing but the magic and whimsy is Iovely and should be carried on as long as appropriate. So I was wrong. Fair enough.

dizzydizzydizzy · Today 22:38
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Do 7yo children still believe in Father Christmas? I

Yes, of course they do!

Thats the parents decision not the teachers!

By 7 or so, not sure I agree. Teachers have probably witnessed cases of kids being humiliated by being the one who believes in Santa at 10, and may feel they have a responsibility to prevent this.

I think some parents are letting this go on a lot longer than is responsible and are doing it for themselves, not for the kids.