Teacher telling 7yo that Father Christmas not real

[Peaceandquietandacuppa]

Is it reasonable for a RE teacher to tell 7 year olds that Father Christmas isn’t real?

My 7 year old DS has just told me that his RE teacher told the class Father Christmas “isn’t real” today. He isn’t one to over-exaggerate. I asked if any of the kids prompted it by asking and he said no, she just said it.

If you think it’s unreasonable, would you say anything to the school?

YABU - teachers are fine to say FC is not real at the age of 7

YANBU - let the kids / parents decide if FC is real. Just don’t say anything!

Only on here do I see people talking about how outrageous it is to lie to children about the existence of Father Christmas.....

It's almost as though families all do things differently isn't it?!

Although, regardless of your beliefs, an adult (other than a parent) telling a child that Father Christmas isn't real is just a mean spirited thing to do. It's not your place.

Same!

I would Have been livid
7 is so young to have it spoiled

So you want your lies to be told by another individual? Nope.

Honestly this needs to stop. You don't get to tell other adults to lie.

Belief of any kind can bring joy, bring comfort, whether you're a druid, Christian, Muslim etc.

We're more similar than different when you dig down to the nub of it.

To celebrate with our children, who are the future our traditional events is wonderful.

I lie to my 2 year old all of the time.

“That picture is beautiful” (it’s not, it’s a scribble)

“The chocolate is all gone” (there’s one left and I’m eating it after bedtime)

“oh, the toy must be broken” (it’s just been hidden because I want a break from the loud music)

I don’t feel bad at all. Most parents do it and the children are absolutely fine.

I think in this instance It’s not about telling a lie it’s about giving the child the opportunity to think and reach their conclusion.

Saying things such as ‘many families believe different things all over the world’ or explain the spirit of Santa and how it's about giving without expecting anything in return. Etc

in UK it is widely accepted that Santa is a prominent part of Christmas culture as much Jesus (before I get flamed I’m not over writing Jesus with Santa or comparing the two - just in this context) so it’s unkind to blatantly dismiss these cultural beliefs but I think at 7 it is ok to get children to have a think for themselves and what they believe.

Exactly!

You don’t have to lie. It’s very easy to say that some people believe in Santa and some people don’t.

Weird. Only on here do I see overly earnest, joyless adults hand-wringing about 'lying' to children about Father Christmas, like it's some sort of moral failure.

Usually, I find, people are happy to spread a little joy, not out to stamp on it.

Really? So you never tell a charity collector that you don’t have any change? Or tell someone that the food they made was delicious when actually it was dreadful? Or thank someone for a gift you didn’t want or like? Or tell someone you like their new haircut/top/glasses when actually they look dreadful? Or tell a friend their baby is beautiful when they look like every other baby?

Everyone lies, perhaps not big ones, but everyone lies.

And to me and my ancestors honesty and truth is our tradition. So why does my traditions have to change for their lies?

So you want your lies to be told by another individual? Nope.

Honestly this needs to stop. You don't get to tell other adults to lie.

You're being ridiculous. Most adults are intelligent enough to offer up a diplomatic answer that doesn't result in ruining Christmas for other families.

Of course they do! What's wrong with you?? 🤦‍♀️

Respect for their religious beliefs, traditions . Not intolerance which your tradition seems to espouse. Your traditions don't have to change you just need to accept theirs graciously.

Diplomacy is underrated.

I think it's less to do with stamping out joy and more to do with how dictatorial it's become.

It's one thing to play along with the Santa/FC story for the benefit of young children. It's fun to go to the Grottos, breakfasts and river cruises with wide eyed little believers.

However, it seems now to have become this enforced conspiracy where every adult is held responsible for upholding "the magic" to "protect the innocence" of much older children- sometimes even into their teens! Vitriolic comments about children who find out or are told the truth and dare to tell their classmates are posted along with claims that Christmas has been ruined FOREVER. Parents who choose not to do Santa are called joyless and cruel and people make dark comments like "Your brat better not spoil it for my little angel! Tell them to keep their mouths SHUT."

That is one school. Both schools I attended RE was taught as fact, my neighbour’s children it is taught as fact at their Catholic school, and another friend who is agnostic but sends her child to a C of E school it’s also taught as fact.

Obviously it varies dependant on school leadership.

True.

we actually lie (nice lies) all the time - yes darling your picture is great, what a fantastic song you are singing etc etc, wow you were fantastic as Shepard number 6 in the nativity

I wouldn't see these as lies at all. We mean it's great for you, at your age; and also great as far as I'm concerned, because you made your best effort and I'm your parent, and I love you; so that truly makes it great to me! If we didn't think it was great - whether for artistic merit or effort/provenance - we would instantly bin it, rather than putting it with pride on the fridge door, as something of value to us.

An actual lie along that vein would surely be to proclaim their painting better than anything that Da Vinci ever painted, or their singing much better than Shirley Bassey ever sang etc.! Just like you would tell a new language learner that they were doing/had done really well to remember a basic phrase or conjugate a common verb; just because a native speaker would know it perfectly from a very young age, that doesn't detract from their achievements.

Also, whether you consider them lies or not, a major difference is that those are reactive comments. They aren't something that you've deliberately concocted and purposefully gone out of your way to introduce your child to, even if you know/believe them not to be true.

@twentysevendresses no need to be rude. Many people have said on here that 7 year olds know FC is not real, although I would say more have said they don't.

I asked my children a few years ago when they were teenagers when they stopped believing in FC and they said they had never believed in him.

I can remember as a child (in the US) aged 5 going to the North Pole (an amusement park type place) to meet FC snd knowing then that he wasn't real.

For me personally you are spot on, but I wouldn't tell someone their haircut looked dreadful unless they asked, and even then there are tactful ways of being honest. As far as gift giving is concerned, I would thank them for the thought, not necessarily for the material thing.

Agreed, there are good and bad ways of being honest, and the methods used often tell you something about the mentality of the person making them.

So you never slip your child's picture into the bin as soon as you can reasonably get away with it? Or say "That's great!" when actually it's awful even for their age group but they'd be crushed if you said that? Or say that they were a fantastic Shepherd even though they mumbled their one line at the back of the stage and no-one even heard them and then stood and stared absently into space whilst the rest of the children were singing?

By attended do you mean the school you went to? Things have changed.