Family comparing my sister and I

[maysiea]

Hi all,
I'm 34, 3 kids who are 9, 7 and 4, married for 11 years and very happy, I live in a lovely rural village, in a house which perfectly suits my needs. Our life isn't flashy, our car is old, we go to Euro camp for our holidays and the one night a month we have without our kids is usually spent watching Chinese in front of the tv. We are happy though, our kids are happy and that's all that matters. We don't earn lots of money, I'm a teacher but I only work 3 days a week, DH is a police officer, with no intention to climb the ranks.
My sister is 24, she went to a top uni, is now working at a very good law firm having just finished her training contract. She probably makes more on her own at 24 than DH and I do combined. Her life looks like a lot of fun, her BF works for a company that one of the F1 teams are a client of so they get to go to the races often, they go to Wimbledon and Royal Ascot and all sorts. She is gorgeous beyond belief.

Now I'm so fed up of my family feeling the need to put me down, "oh don't you wish you'd waited for kids look what you missed out on" "oh look how skinny xxxx is, shouldn't you try lose some weight she's gorgeous" "xxxx has done so well for herself your mum would be proud" (my mum died when I was 13 and she was 3).
This never comes from my sister, we are both very happy with our own lives, no amount of money would convince me waking up at half 5 for Pilates is a good idea or working until half 6/7pm is any fun. I also know my sister occasionally uses cocaine and you won't catch her without a vape in her hand so I'd say her health perhaps isn't as good as she makes it look.

It really upsets when my dad and grandparents comment on how my mum would be so proud of her but no mention of me. I have 3 gorgeous children and of course sometimes I think ohhh should I have waited but I'm so glad I didn't.

I'm not upset about not living my sisters life, I couldn't deal with the toxic finance bros, sniffing lines in a club bathroom, 10/11 hour work days, 8 step skin care routine and 12 step hair care etc.
She isn't upset either, she wouldn't want the school run, arguing over eating peas, managing 30+ kids all day life.

AIBU to be so fed up of my family comparing us? How do I stop it? It's really getting me down!

Call them out on it -

"Are you saying you wish your grandchildren had never been born"

"I'm comfortable with my weight after having children, are you unhappy with the way I look?"

Have you told your Dad and Grandparents how this makes you feel? Do they realise they’re doing this? Tell them, and tell them if they continue to disregard your feelings you’ll be spending a lot less time with them.

if you’ve already had this out with them, and they don’t care and have continued, you need to stay away from them. Why would you let them continue to upset you?

It sounds really unfair OP. I would get so annoyed by it! I don’t understand why they keep saying don’t you wish you had waited?! You were 25 when you had your first- you were hardly a teen mum.

I think them constantly saying your mum would be proud of her and not saying the same about you would annoy me. Do they ever say to her that you’ve done so well, your mum would be so proud of you etc? Or is it just to you about your sister?