To have said no to this man coming into my house?

[clodethewindie]

I got home from work yesterday and the new neighbour was outside and so we introduced ourselves, made small talk etc.

My house and 7 others (including new neighbours) on the street are the same design/build etc. Neighbour mentioned that he’d gone to all those houses and they’d all let him have a look around and could he come in and see what I’ve done with my place …

Now I get it’s interesting to see what others would do with the same space but also as a lone female I don’t want to have a man I don’t know come into my house for a tour. He seemed a bit putout that I said no.

Agree totally. It's very ungentlemanly to ask. Sorry to use such an old fashioned term. The men in my family would never do that.

No way i would let a man in I didn't invite if i was home alone

I always try to flip things like this round by thinking if my DH, Dad any other decent man I know would do that and they definitely wouldn't because its weird.

Speak to the neighbors, I agree with PP that he was probably lying ...

I once sold something on Facebook marketplace to a guy (cheap item for a tenner). He immediately said "Can i come in and use your toilet". I said no. I mean...wtf?! It was literally a 2 second transaction, i live in the centre of town and he was in his car. Plus I live alone.

He looked so pissed off. He then said "I don't want this item.. it's broken". It wasn't but I knew then for sure he just wanted access to my home / me and nothing else.

Really creepy!

You did exactly the right thing.

Agree. Can’t believe they all let some random look round their homes. He wouldn’t be coming in my house. All sounds very odd

What a strange request. If he’d already been inside six houses then he hardly needed to check out yours too.

If the houses were all of the same layout, then they aren’t exactly going to look very different aside from various configurations of furniture, etc.

Besides, all it takes is a quick snoop of old Rightmove listings to see inside your neighbours houses. That’s what I did when I was trying to figure out how to knock down a wall in our kitchen!

For me, male or female, I don't want nosy neighbours poking around!

I had our kitchen and dining room knocked through and an extension built two years ago. Had to pop out to pick up a package. Got back to find my builder showing my nosey neighbour and her friend the building work. She asked if she could see the loft extension we'd done eleven years ago - umm no, you can see it from your garden, that's close enough!

The fact he felt the need to tell you that '...all the other neighbours...' let him in and also seemed 'put out' when you said no to him tells me he's dodgy. Any man with half a brain cell would know asking a woman you've just met if you can come into her home isn't going to make her feel comfortable.

But centuries of male entitlement goes a long way to emboldening some of them.

I once showed a perspective tenant around my shop (next door was up for let). I was burgled within the week.

I've also had it at my recent home. A EDF meter reader wants to walk through my house to access the meter. I'm disabled now and often on my own. The meter can be accessed by the back gate. The man gives me the creeps and I can no longer defend myself. I also have a meter reading to hand. It does upset me though because he tries to walk in.
I would tell your neighbour nothing. A pleasant good morning if you have to and that's it.

The fact that he felt entitled to ask that is concerning, and I think you did well to let him know you are able and willing to say NOPE.

I wouldn't particularly want anyone I didn't know having a tour round my house just because they'd asked for one. It wouldn't make any difference to me whether they were a man or a woman, though.

Completely inappropriate OP....you were right to refuse.

don’t know him, and like I said it just felt inappropriate

It felt inappropriate as it WAS inappropriate so well done you on not letting him!

The fact he was "put out" shows he has very little self awareness. Surely it is obvious to any man that a lone female you've just met isn't going to be keen on this idea?

Definitely NBU. When I wanted ideas on how to arrange our living room, I stalked my neighbours' houses on RightMove Sold like a normal person 🤣

Well done for saying no. It's not at all a reasonable request. He's probably just a bit nosey, but might be a criminal staking the joint.
I wonder if it's true that everyone else let him in...

That is really sinister. He obviously bought the item on the pretext of getting into your house, for god knows what reason.

That’s incredibly rude and a bit disturbing.
A firm “no” from me too.

Some people are just nosy and most blokes don’t understand why women are a bit wary. I wouldn’t give it a second thought. You did the right thing - I certainly wouldn’t have let him in

If he turns out to be lying I would report it to the local police.

Yes exactly what i thought. He really got my spidey senses going! He pretty much threw the object back at me after i refused him entry to my home.

I wonder if someone younger and less boundaried did eventually let him in

I’m not convinced that lots of other neighbours have let him into theirs. You did the right thing not entertaining it.

I don't believe that every neighbour who'd never met him let him look round. I also don't believe he was surprised you said no. Very creepy vibes, please try never to be alone with him.

I’m married with 2 adult sons at home and I’d still say no. It’s nosey and strange

The crazy thing is that why would a man think that a woman would want that? Any decent man I know wouldn't even dream of asking that question. His boundaries are completely skewed.

How odd. You were right to not let him in for a nosy.