To have said no to this man coming into my house?

[clodethewindie]

I got home from work yesterday and the new neighbour was outside and so we introduced ourselves, made small talk etc.

My house and 7 others (including new neighbours) on the street are the same design/build etc. Neighbour mentioned that he’d gone to all those houses and they’d all let him have a look around and could he come in and see what I’ve done with my place …

Now I get it’s interesting to see what others would do with the same space but also as a lone female I don’t want to have a man I don’t know come into my house for a tour. He seemed a bit putout that I said no.

What a weirdo! Steer well clear and check with the neighbours if any if those house tours really happened. If they did, still be careful, he doesn’t seem to recognise normal boundaries.

In what world does this man live in? who in their right mind would allow him to view their house? NOT A CHANCE. Glad you told him op.

That's what Google is for, you can usually find pictures from sales/lets of similar build houses.

Agree. We looked at neighbours bathrooms before changing ours as it's the best way to see what works in the space

Bit odd to ask a brand new neighbour though. He'd have been better to wait a bit

Surely 7 houses is enough for him to be nosy in without getting sulky with a lone female for not letting him into hers.

Remember OP is on her own, whereas you were a 'we'.

I agree.

I've read this before 🤔

I think it's totally fine for her to say no. I'm just saying that it's entirely possible he is not lying about wanting to look round or that others have let him. Doesn't mean OP has to let him though.

Do you know for a fact he’s the new neighbour, or did he just claim he was?

I definitely wouldn’t have let him in and I think it’s really odd that he asked. I would be surprised if it was true that everyone else did, and him being put out sounds like another red flag.

Of course it’s fine to say no. And you don’t have to think his intent was sinister in order to refuse.

Absolutely no

We did this when we all moved in (new build), had a party and then went round everyone's house for a nosy but all in a huge group!

When I bought the house I did a full renovation and wasn’t living in it. The builder later told me that a few neighbours had asked to have a look around and he’d refused based on it on being his property. One woman came and asked three times.. I really could never ask someone that if I wasn’t on some kind of first name/say hello type terms.

I actually didn’t really get sinister vibes but I just don’t think it’s really appropriate to be asking. I can’t describe why, I don’t think every man has sinister intentions at all but I think the power dynamic is off. I don’t know him, and like I said it just felt inappropriate

We have a newish neighbour that has been into most houses as his is the only untouched, not extended, original house left and he’s planning a lot of work.

However, that’s happened when he’s been invited. He was talking about plans to extend at the back and we invited him to look at ours as we’ve recently had it done. If he’d invited himself I’d have been very wary!

Is this ‘all-your-neighbours-let-me-in’ the same as ‘all-your-neighbours-signed-up’ from gas/elec/wifi/charity door-knockers?

My individual neighbours that I live beside and speak to don’t seem to the same group as the fabled ‘all-your-neighbours’ group 🤣

Absolutely you did the right thing not letting him in OP!

If he mentions it again I'd say "I think 7 comparisons is enough for you to work with!"

I'd be glad he's shown himself as he is so early, you can be prepared now for any further attempts from him.

And I'd definitely check with a couple of the neighbours - my guess....he lied completely about going into their houses.

That's an excellent point, he could be knocking on doors in an entirely different place today!

Yes it’s just weird. I would have said no and I don’t live alone. Nosey fecker 😂

This. Also, wait three years and some of these houses will go back on the market so you’ll be able to check them out on Rightmove😊

Hell no. What a weirdo.

Absolutely no way

He shouldn't have asked.

The gall, and the rudeness of putting you in an awkward position

Absolutely no way should he have even asked!

And I don’t think men with sinister intentions are always obvious about it. You did the right thing.

Whatever his intentions; your home, your rules.

He is at best an empathy fail, having no concept why he shouldn't be allowed into anyone else's home.

He may not be used to women saying no - and this has shaken his whole world view.

He may be a genuine neighbour - who's decided to test your personal boundaries. See what you'll put up with. For starters.

He may be a fake. And sinister men can be masters at masking until it's too late.

Well done.

He seemed a bit putout that I said no.

And this is why you did the right thing.

Normal people who are respectful towards others know that asking to have a nosy around someone else's house is cheeky and would accept a refusal with good grace.

Your neighbour has let you know he's an arsehole so you can give him a wide berth from now on.