Every single thing I say my partner gets annoyed at and I'm wrong and I need humbled

[pij]

The conversation starts out nice and fine and we connect but then he will randomly say I over generalise things and piss him off so much. What I said was that (after he told me at 28 I'm getting passed it) people look their best 25+ like at 18 everyone looks a bit awkward and like they need to grow into themselves. This pissed him off so much for what reason? I feel I looked goofy at 18 (when we got together) and have grown into myself. As have my friends and even celebrities you say. This is also MY opinion so why would it be "over generalising and so wrong"?

Then he said I need humbling when I joked in a conversation in the hot sibling. So obviously a joke. He does this all the time. He thinks I need humbling I'm too aware I'm "attractive" I need brought down a peg.

Why would he want to make every conversation awful between us? I've never had a conversation where I'm constantly wrong, he gets pissed off at my opinion, I'm stupid and don't know anything. It's like he made it so we don't get on just for the fun of it because we can have amazing conversations where we connect and it feels so good and nice. Then like tonight my thoughts are so wrong etc.

I cannot stand the me saying a thought and it's wrong

It's got me to the point I think I offend everyone with anything I say like saying I think people look their best 25 onwards. How is that possibly offensive??? How is that wrong. Or everything I say in conversations is so wrong and everyone will be mad at me for speaking. Because he's now mad at me and gone off because I said people look their best 25 onwards??

This isn't even making sense

FGS don't get pregnant to this man..Imagine him speaking like this to a daughter or son.

You've grown up, he hasn't. Time to move on OP.

Edited to add: You've been in this relationship since you were little more than a child. Take some time out for yourself to discover the woman you are without him dragging you down.

Just leave him. He is trying to wear you down so you end up agreeing with him on everything and not having your own thoughts and opinions

Why are you with someone that treats you so badly OP?

Oh OP you are still so young. I could cry for you.
I was in your situation when just a little older than you and he crushed my self confidence so badly.
I found the courage to leave and I'm now married to a man who adores me for who i am. I’m so happy now.
I Can’t believe how long I put up with being critiqued and belittled.
He told me I was shit and I believed him.
Please get out now and live your best life.

He's a headfuck! (I think I need to just cut and paste this a lot!) Nothing good can come from dating a headfuck. Dump him, block him, move on.

He sounds horrid, you don’t have to put up with this from anyone, ever - you know that right? And that this isn’t normal?

He’s telling you he doesn’t value you or your opinion, he is to be listened to and agreed with all the time and you are worthless

why are you still with him? Just get rid and move on

you have grown since you were 18, it appears he has not

List 10 nice things about him.

If you're wavering over starting the list then dump him.

I have a daughter your age and your post has made me so sad.
I would be horrified if her partner said these things to her and would be rushing out to collect her and bring her home away from this utter bastard.

Ask him if he thinks you should have your own opinions or just his.

Not sure I understand why you’re in a relationship with this man tbh.

Being told you need humbling for having normal self esteem and that you’re stupid for saying male validation is not necessary doesn’t sound like anyone’s idea of a good time.

Please, please get away from this man. He will (if he hasn't already) gradually chip away at your self-esteem and confidence until you get to the stage where you are frightened to say anything to him. He sounds moody and irritable and abusive, and he will get worse. I once had a boyfriend who behaved very similarly to what you have described. It got to the stage where everything I said seemed to annoy him. He told me he had been on holiday and I asked him who with and he blew his top. He told me a friend of his had died and I asked the age of his friend and he blew his top. I once told him I was struggling with something and he told me I was a "martyr" and "boring" and was "making myself look stupid". He was also always blaming womenkind for most of the world's problems, seeing us all as lazy; money grabbing; bad drivers; shrieking nags. The final straw was when he told me that I was a bad dresser, and had no shape, style or self-respect. I was a lot younger then and thought I couldn't live without him because he made me feel that I deserved to be spoken to like that and I couldn't imagine being with someone who didn't speak to me in that demeaning and vile way. There are people out there who do NOT act in this way. Please believe me when I say that this man's behaviour towards you will not improve. Please get away from him. You deserve to not worry about every single thing you say and to be treated as an equal.

Don't stay with someone who hates you

Why stay with someone who despises you OP?

Get away from this nasty bastard ASAP. You deserve SO much better.

You are in an emotionally abusive relationship. Get out asap.

I have an ex like this. I suspected that he thought I needed 'bringing down a peg' (in the sense that I had self-worth and he didn't want me to). If I mentioned something I achieved at work, or that something I had cooked tasted good, or anything even vaguely positive about myself then he would find a way to put me down but in such a minor way it was hard to spot – more like never affirming rather than being outright negative. He also hated self-deprication (I do too tbh) so was really set up as a lose-lose situation where I couldn't say anything at all about myself ever or I'd be 'brought down' in some way. It's exhausting.

I'm not someone who needs a lot of positive affirmation, but I realised he really just thought that I should have no self-esteem whatsoever when a friend complimented me (literally just the kind of "you look nice!" comment that women often exchange when they see each other) and he said 'oh don't tell her that she doesn't need to hear it'. I thought, well I definitely never hear it from you, and it hit home... the relationship was over within a month of that.

This is a long-winded way of telling you you deserve better. If someone has nothing nice to say to you, the chances of that changing and them suddenly becoming a ray of sunshine in your life are very very slim.

Well it's obvious, don't talk to him ever again then he can't put you down.
If you live together can you move out to somewhere quickly.

Wouldn’t you be happier with a cat? Or a lizard?

Then he said I need humbling when I joked in a conversation in the hot sibling. So obviously a joke. He does this all the time. He thinks I need humbling I'm too aware I'm "attractive" I need brought down a peg.

Would he accept it if YOU arbitrarily decided "all the time" that HE needed "humbling" and "brought down a peg" whenever YOU feel that HE is wrong or you don't like his opinion?

If not, why not?

If so, it still sounds like a fucking exhausting waste of time. Find someone who can tolerate a difference of opinion - hell, maybe even someone who is interested in and respects your opinions and your right to have them.

He is a twat. You deserve better.