AIBU? - Facial scar 1 year old daughter

[sre123]

I posted about this before.

My almost 1 year old daughter had come home with a nasty scratch from nursery in November.

Another child had scratched her.

I attached two pictures. One of the original scratch and one of the scar that she has on her face now :(

Apparently the child who scratched her is only a few months older than her.

I wrote an email to the nursery and complained about it.

The next day a manager spoke to me and she had lots of excuses. She said that my daughter was very confident and social because she had older siblings. Because of this she always wanted to be where the other children are and if she wanted a toy, she would just go for it. Basically implying that my daughters behaviour sometimes causes conflicts with other children. She said that my daughter is friends with the other child and that it happened very quickly "there was nothing we could have done to stop it".

Another manager assured me it wouldn't happen again. A week ago my daughter came home with a small injury on her finger as she was bitten by another child.

I asked if it was the same child again. The manager said they can't tell me as they can't disclose anything about the other children. I replied that the information is relevant as I asked the nursery to keep this child away from my daughter.

I know that the staff can't prevent everything and that some scuffles are normal, but I'm just so upset and angry when I look at her little face and her scar.

AIBU?

It’s upsetting, but unlikely to scar.

I’m not sure how the nursery can keep two children apart?

Children do this sort of thing to each other, but if you feel the nursery isn’t watching them closely enough, perhaps change?

that won’t scar op
you’re not happy with the nursery op
might be wise to move

The next day a manager spoke to me and she had lots of excuses. She said that my daughter was very confident and social because she had older siblings. Because of this she always wanted to be where the other children are and if she wanted a toy, she would just go for it
and they will cause conflict op

all sounds pretty normal to me. not even toddler age yet, babies

I think this kind of thing can happen very quickly, so if you are otherwise happy with the nursery I think it's ok. that will fade and ) not relevant but) what beautiful eyes she has!!

This is normal toddler behaviour.

You say "scar" but the scratch is only from a few weeks ago and it's still red. It hasn't healed yet. I think that's very unlikely to leave a lasting scar. Give it time. If you're really worried you could try putting silicone scar tape on it at night. I used it for my C-section scar which is barely visible now. And that was an 11cm long incision through multiple layers of tissue, and I don't have nearly as much collagen as a one year old baby!

they aren’t even toddlers! they’re babies

that’s very unlikely to leave a scar the scratches will clear up in time.

what was your complaint OP?

You really have to damage into the skin layers to scar. That won’t scar OP, don’t worry.

It's upsetting when they get hurt, but that's not healed yet so massively premature to be talking about scarring.

And as the mother of a child who was very confident because of older siblings who'd just go for it - the nursery manager is right. That does cause conflict with other children. Especially when they just take toys from others. That's all just part of children being children.

There will be times when she injures another child. Either by accident or my temper. It happens. It's just part and parcel

Aw, look at her big brown eyes! What a sweetheart!

It won’t scar, OP, and scuffles over toys happen. There’s not much a nursery can realistically do to stop that. Don’t worry, your baby will be fine.

That won’t scar, OP.

I know it can be upsetting when you first enter this world, but, kindly, you are overreacting. These a bog-standard nursery injuries and it’s very unreasonable to expect staff to separate children unless there is something very significant occurring. I am surprised you asked after the scratch. The nursery manager’s response sounds reasonable.

It is upsetting to see.My son had something similar, but I can see no evidence of it now. At that age things happen so quickly. Thinking about it, this was my younger with 2 older siblings!

I'm sorry OP
I don't think it could have been prevented but am going to go against the grain and say it may scar.
My ds scratched dds face when they were 2 and 3 and it did. Same place actually.

Whilst I wouldn’t expect nursery to give you the identity of the child, I would think they would be able to say if it was the same child and keep them separate. There was a biter DS nursery group who bit him twice and they did put strategies in place to stop it.

However, honestly I think you need to relax about this a bit. They are tiny and can’t control their emotions, things like this will happen occasionally. Nursery staff won’t be fast enough to stop it sometimes, doesn’t mean they are not supervising properly. One day, it might be your child that scratches.

this is two babies we are talking about here
i wouldn’t be saying i’m going to “keep them separate”

Maybe, maybe not. Like I said, when my child got bitten twice by the same child when he was at nursery, they did keep them separate. I don’t think my DC was the only kid getting bitten so there was definitely some tactics deployed to manage the situation.

how old?

:( I am so sorry and this is what I fear. In fact, it already looks like a scar to me although it's probably going to fade more in the future.

Is there a cream I can apply?

Biooil, but with her age it will massively fade in time probably to nothing even without it.

Can’t remember ds is 13 now! but they were tiny. Under 2, maybe 18 months.

Silicone scar tape.

this is a 1 year old, probably not even walking and the other baby a few months older.

i wouldn’t be saying im going to keep them separate

Ok, travel back in time and tell my old nursery that then!

Honestly, plain Vaseline is best to help it heal when it’s scabbed over.