AIBU? - Facial scar 1 year old daughter

[sre123]

I posted about this before.

My almost 1 year old daughter had come home with a nasty scratch from nursery in November.

Another child had scratched her.

I attached two pictures. One of the original scratch and one of the scar that she has on her face now :(

Apparently the child who scratched her is only a few months older than her.

I wrote an email to the nursery and complained about it.

The next day a manager spoke to me and she had lots of excuses. She said that my daughter was very confident and social because she had older siblings. Because of this she always wanted to be where the other children are and if she wanted a toy, she would just go for it. Basically implying that my daughters behaviour sometimes causes conflicts with other children. She said that my daughter is friends with the other child and that it happened very quickly "there was nothing we could have done to stop it".

Another manager assured me it wouldn't happen again. A week ago my daughter came home with a small injury on her finger as she was bitten by another child.

I asked if it was the same child again. The manager said they can't tell me as they can't disclose anything about the other children. I replied that the information is relevant as I asked the nursery to keep this child away from my daughter.

I know that the staff can't prevent everything and that some scuffles are normal, but I'm just so upset and angry when I look at her little face and her scar.

AIBU?

i’m not talking about your situation
i am talking about the ages of the children invoked in the OP

as for your situation? that’s your business and i have no view on it 🤷

huh? different ages

Op…. babies
yours… toddlers

Which I’m saying was about 18 months ish, same as the scratching child. Stop quoting me then.

it makes a difference

OP, my son got 22 stitches age 5 when a freak accident happened with his father beside him.
I was absolutely distraught over his face.
It was over his eye.
His plastics guy was amazing and told me that when it was fully healed to rub it every night with any oil or cream i had handt, gently across the scar to bring blood to the spot and help with healing.

15 years later it is hard to find close up.
Quite unbelievable if you saw him age 5 after surgery.

Do not worry, that will fade for sure, but help it along with a little rub back and forth every time you remember.

I can understand your upset.
I was devastated thinking his gorgeous little face was spoiled, but it really wasn't.
It healed amazingly.
Wishing you well.

Also don’t waste your money on bio-oil, I don’t know why this is still recommended.

I agree with this, my DS had a horrific accident falling over in a playground when he was about 3, he cut his forehead so deep that you could see fat 😔 he had surgery to repair it, now at age 5 it's barely visible. And that was a serious wound, I think a scratch is v unlikely to scar noticeably.

Sorry to hear you went through something similar, I made myself quite ill fretting over DS's poor face but it's amazing how well they can heal when they're little.

Nursery could be asking parents to make sure toddler and baby nails are all kept short, like they are for netball. Surely that would make a difference?

I remember your thread. I can understand why it’s upsetting but I truly don’t think it will scar. If you continue to be unhappy with your daughters care, you could look into other nurseries - they tend to have long waiting lists.

so the scratch is fading, it's about 4 weeks old?
Highly unlikely to leave a permanent scar - use cream or olive oil on it to help it heal - if the other baby is 1 as well, it's highly unlikely that the child is a vicious bully.
Don't use childcare if you want 1:1 supervision of your child - keep her home wrapped in cotton wool.

That will fade massively
Here's one of mine at the start, during healing and now

Not necessarily, my daughter had a very light scratch on her forehead a few years ago, she's 12 now and it's scarred. It didn't look bad at all at the time, not nearly as bad as the picture in the op

Twin One had a thin scar on his face from his brother scratching him at about 1 year old. It was noticeable until he was about 3, but faded. I think their skin is so elastic it heals well. But that looks very much in the surface and should heal without a scar.

My son had a huge operation on his face when he was a baby. After about 6 months you couldn't tell unless you looked very closely. Now you can't tell apart from he has a slightly wonky smile, which I think is very cute.

It will fade. I have two childhood scars on my face, one above each eyebrow, both done before I was 5. Both required stitches so the cuts weren't insignificant, but the scars are barely noticeable. Oh and I almost severed my finger on an open tin as a toddler and the scar really difficult to find. If it does scar it's no big deal, just don't draw attention to it as she gets older (unless she asks) otherwise she might end up feeling self-conscious of it.

They told me they asked the other child's parent to cut their nails.

That doesn’t like it’s going to scar OP. It’s so upsetting when they’re hurt by another child though, especially when they’re away from you . In this case it will have probably happened so fast, and between babies who have no understanding, it’s very hard, if not impossible to prevent. The other child definitely needs their nails trimming short though.

Silicone gel is what you need, lots of Amazon. Only use it if it's scarred though, it's still a scab at the moment and very unlikely to scar.

why didn’t you mention this in your op
rather than just saying the manager was “i’m playing” your daughter was to blame
you don’t seem to have a very high regard for the nursery

I took a passport photo of him last week and had a good look at it no sign whatsoever.
I actually feel like sending it to the surgeon who was early 40's at the time, so he can see his work.
He did an amazing job.
My husband was in his ear at the time that I was very upset.
His forehead actually exploded and there was bloood everywhere. It was the side of a pitch watching a childrens match and so was seen by many.
He was hit by a frizzbee thrown by a child right into the forehead.
It was the talk of the area with the blood that went everywhere.
No sign of it now and he just remembers being treated like a celebrity for months after😁.
I swear his father lost 10 years with the fright and upset.
Fortunately by pure luck there were two doctor parents beside him that he didn't know and they took over.
They were super kind.
My poor husband kind of went into shock.
The surgeon said any cream and oil would do.
Its the gentle rubbing back and forth with your finger that brings blood to the area.
I did it religiously every night at bed time.

This is quite normal though. Sometimes my daughter comes home with a scratch or even a bite mark. Sometimes at pick up they tell us she has scratched another child and they ask us to cut her nails.

It won’t scar. New skin will appear, just give it time.

Vaseline is magic stuff, put it on in the morning, before bed and after a wash. That should heal nicely. My gran had an awful fall with her face covered in huge gashes, and that’s what a&e told her to do. You can’t even tell now. On young skin she’ll heal fine. Start doing it today.

Silicone is I think for raised scars and it never did much for mine - the patches were forever falling off and I'd find them covered in carpet fuzz. It was a hypertrophic scar and I eventually had it injected with steroids which did work.

Anyway my son as a toddler cut his chin open very badly. A plastic surgeon worked on his face to close the gaping wound. She told us that once it was healed we could start massaging it to soften the scar. It didn't matter what the oil or cream was, it was the massage that was key. If you look very closely at him in a very clear light, there is the faintest trace of a white line under his chin.

A scar is not mature till it's 12 months old either. Red scars eventually lighten in colour but it can take a long time.

Op has the mark gone?