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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what you’d do in this dire situation?

356 replies

ReallyStuck2024 · 10/12/2024 16:14

Posting for traffic.

I live in SE England. I’m trying to move to a cheaper part of the UK and I’m making plans to do so.

I work FT and have an additional PT job. I’m working around 55-60 hours a week.

No savings, can’t get a decent credit card or even a loan due to previous poor credit (which I’m working to resolve).I’m not entitled to any benefits.
I don’t drive so can’t take on work as for eg Deliveroo or Amazon or otherwise

Family can’t help me with financial support. I also cannot stay with family in the short term due to valid but complicated reasons.

the situation is: it’s going to cost me thousands to move: in terms of arranging a move but also because my current flat is furnished and I’d have to furnish an entire new house. So I need to save for six months or so.

whilst this is all going on, my LL announced he was putting the rent up by £450 a month, effective March. I can’t afford this and will need to move. But I can’t afford to move.

I am wracking my head for solutions here - even moving into a house share and getting rid of most of my belongings but that still wouldn’t work because I’d need a months rent and deposit up front and tbh, house shares and one bed flats aren’t that different in price where I’m looking.

What on earth am I meant to do? I’m seriously panicking

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
ReallyStuck2024 · 11/12/2024 08:13

emailnonse · 11/12/2024 08:10

why couldn’t you when countless have. not ideal but not forever

I understand that but for this (my) situation it wouldn’t work. I have asked.

I’ve been given a lot of excellent ideas and suggestions which I have started to explore and will be looking more at today.

OP posts:
Turmerictolly · 11/12/2024 08:21

I think Spare Room is your best bet, a poster linked to a furnished room up thread in the area you are looking for in case you missed it. £450 a month and very little deposit. You said you could borrow a few hundred off your mum so I'd go for that option when you're ready to move.

SereneCapybara · 11/12/2024 08:46

ReallyStuck2024 · 10/12/2024 18:14

I think he will likely hold onto it but even if he doesn’t - I need it in my account before I pay the deposit and rent elsewhere because I just don’t have the money to do so upfront.

It's not legal for him to hold onto it, unless you trashed the place. It is your money, not his, legally.

MildredSauce · 11/12/2024 08:46

ReallyStuck2024 · 11/12/2024 08:13

I understand that but for this (my) situation it wouldn’t work. I have asked.

I’ve been given a lot of excellent ideas and suggestions which I have started to explore and will be looking more at today.

It's great you have some ideas and plans to help you get to where you want to be geographically, @ReallyStuck2024

But what about the longer term? Your full time job pays only NMW and you work a part time role to bring your income up to 27k which is still under minimum income guidelines for a decent standard of living.

You've said that because of the nature of your full time job (legal services) you are limited to what you can do in a part time role. That makes your FT job sound like more of a career, so what's the plan or scope for earning more? Are you in training, or on a qualification pathway?

It feels like if you don't address what must be a really tough work/life balance, you'll always run to stand still?

ReallyStuck2024 · 11/12/2024 08:58

SereneCapybara · 11/12/2024 08:46

It's not legal for him to hold onto it, unless you trashed the place. It is your money, not his, legally.

The place is spotless but there is some minor water damage to the worktops which is going to require him to re varnish, he reckons. I think it’s wear and tear but I bet he takes the entire deposit because of this. When I moved in, I asked if I could put pictures on the wall and he said no because they could cause damage. All fine. He then said “if I needed to repaint I’d need to take your entire deposit, not sure if I’m legally allowed to ha ha ha”. It wasn’t “ha ha ha” to me. I kind of got the measure of how he’d be then.

OP posts:
WhatUSeeIsWhatUGet · 11/12/2024 09:29

nightmarepickle2025 · 10/12/2024 16:25

You can get most furniture that you need for cheap/ free from freecycle/ British Heart Foundation etc.

I know it's not much, but I was going to point in the same direction: have you considered selling all your current furniture? And then, as the poster above says, get the new one for free/cheaper wherever you move to?
Also, are you able to take a loan from trusting family?
I'm sorry OP, it is indeed a very difficult situation. I hope people in this thread can give you good advice. Stay strong 🙏

ReallyStuck2024 · 11/12/2024 09:51

WhatUSeeIsWhatUGet · 11/12/2024 09:29

I know it's not much, but I was going to point in the same direction: have you considered selling all your current furniture? And then, as the poster above says, get the new one for free/cheaper wherever you move to?
Also, are you able to take a loan from trusting family?
I'm sorry OP, it is indeed a very difficult situation. I hope people in this thread can give you good advice. Stay strong 🙏

I can take a small loan (300 max). I don’t have any furniture - my current place is furnished

OP posts:
RandomMess · 11/12/2024 09:53

Sure he will try and hold onto your deposit BUT you can appeal via the rent deposit scheme and they will state what is fair and reasonable.

Guess what they make allowances for reasonable wear and tear and will find in your favour with perhaps a small deduction.

It's frustrating that it will take time though. Lots and lots of photos.

Did you have any written instructions on how to care for oiled worktops when you moved in?

RandomMess · 11/12/2024 09:55

You could actually raise that it seems that the worktops hadn't been adequately maintained and are not as water resistant as they should be has they been regularly and appropriately oiled.

WhatUSeeIsWhatUGet · 11/12/2024 10:00

ReallyStuck2024 · 11/12/2024 09:51

I can take a small loan (300 max). I don’t have any furniture - my current place is furnished

Oh, sorry, OP, I misunderstood re the furniture 🙏

Catza · 11/12/2024 10:03

ReallyStuck2024 · 11/12/2024 08:58

The place is spotless but there is some minor water damage to the worktops which is going to require him to re varnish, he reckons. I think it’s wear and tear but I bet he takes the entire deposit because of this. When I moved in, I asked if I could put pictures on the wall and he said no because they could cause damage. All fine. He then said “if I needed to repaint I’d need to take your entire deposit, not sure if I’m legally allowed to ha ha ha”. It wasn’t “ha ha ha” to me. I kind of got the measure of how he’d be then.

Don't worry too much about it. That's what the deposit protection scheme is for and they will arbitrate. Just make sure you photograph every single thing when you move out. And, I hope you have your original inventory photos on hand. If the landlord didn't take any photos or inventory, even better. He can't withhold the deposit without the proof that any damage happened while you were occupying the property.

ReallyStuck2024 · 11/12/2024 10:08

RandomMess · 11/12/2024 09:53

Sure he will try and hold onto your deposit BUT you can appeal via the rent deposit scheme and they will state what is fair and reasonable.

Guess what they make allowances for reasonable wear and tear and will find in your favour with perhaps a small deduction.

It's frustrating that it will take time though. Lots and lots of photos.

Did you have any written instructions on how to care for oiled worktops when you moved in?

I did but the damage was to one which I don’t think was oiled again before I moved in. Frankly don’t put an expensive, needy worktop in a rental property? I do accept there has been wear and tear though and I am happy if some of my deposit comes off for this, just not all.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 11/12/2024 10:20

@ReallyStuck2024 exactly and if you do put high end in bloody maintain.

Make sure when you dispute him holding back ANY of the deposit that it wasn’t adequately oiled when you moved in so it's just expected wear and tear as you were mindful of avoiding water damage but it was unavoidable due to their poor condition.

askmenow · 11/12/2024 11:57

ReallyStuck2024 · 10/12/2024 20:19

The tenant who lives below me is going to stay until he’s evicted, because like me he needs time to find somewhere. He’s in a worse position than me. I’m not moving until I’m ready and if that means a sec 21 is issued and followed then so be it.

Given another resident is staying til a Section 21 is issued, just do the same.
It'll take 6 months for him to evict you and gives you breathing space to clear your debts and save a little.

Another option, is an out of season airbnb at your new location. This would also to give you time to get your deposit back from this dick landlord... to put down on a new place.

Good you've no furniture to transport. Totally less hassle to travel light.

Freegle, Freecycle and the Nextdoor App are your friend for furnishing help for your move. Generally free or for little cost. People are sooo helpful if you just explain.

Also the recycling centres next to your local tip. Ours are run by "Help the Aged" and have lots of useful items including furniture.

They will have an excess after Christmas and before the students return to Uni. They're always overflowing between term times when students have gone home.

RandomWordsThrownTogether · 11/12/2024 12:45

With the excessive rent increase you can challenge it on the basis that it goes for beyond the recommended amount and he will not be allowed raise it until it goes to the tribunal. However, in saying that if he hasn’t raised rents in a few years and he can show comparable apartments in the area are going for that rate they will likely find the pay increase stands. By challenging the rate and bringing a dispute you will delay the rent going up for another few months until after the rent tribunal but it will likely go up in the end. I would avoid disputes if you can as it’s not worth the stress - unless you have no other option!

Personally I would just move sooner rather than later! In the summer in Devon if a landlord hasn’t filled a property they will airbnb it and delay putting it on the market until August/September when it is impossible to find a rental because there are a lot more students in Exeter than rentals so they go into the surrounding areas. This time of year is a good time to move to Devon as there are less people looking and a decent gap until the summer so landlords will want longer term tenants.

dontcrowdthemushrooms · 11/12/2024 12:46

ReallyStuck2024 · 10/12/2024 18:20

Thank you for this. I can’t get a CC or loan due to previous bad credit (really previous, I’m paying it off and I’m close to doing this now). If I could get a loan or a CC this would be the solution to my (short term) problem I think.

Ok, so you just need to save up the deposit. I think you said above you could save £400 a month at a push for a couple of months? So you need 2-3 months saving to manage it.

Also, and this is a bit out of left field, but I would recommend joining some of the horsey Facebook groups in Devon and seeing if anyone has anything to let - there are lots of caravans/mobile homes/annexes on farms and yards that may be available with low or no deposit, especially in the winter.
Off the top of my head the two big groups are Equestrian Southwest and The Nutty Nags.

I left Devon last year and my rent was £560 at the time for a 1-bed flat, it was a private rental I found on OpenRent. You can find something! Look at Torquay/Paignton areas - much cheaper than mid Devon and still accessible, I lived easy walking distance from a train station.

HonestlyHQ · 11/12/2024 13:00

Is the part time role also remote?

BestZebbie · 11/12/2024 14:13

It sounds like you need to move out of your current place asap (before March at the latest), and just live without furniture for a while, buying it piece-by-piece as you save up each month. It is sucky but doable in the short term as long as you can wash and eat (even if just sandwiches and a kettle) from the start, and have an air mattress/camp bed (possibly you could temporarily borrow one of these from the family who can't host you, or a friend?).

comfortandjoyy · 11/12/2024 16:23

How are you doing today @ReallyStuck2024 do you feel less panicked and overwhelmed?

ForkHandlesNotFourCandles · 11/12/2024 17:27

If you outstay the s21 watch out for solicitor fees.
If you end up in court and lose the case you have to pay the landlords fees as well as your own.

If you leave on the date required on the s21 of course there’s no court case to attend

AcadeMama · 11/12/2024 17:55

I feel for you OP. Look for a cheap rental and maybe sell all your unwanted furniture on Gumtree, eBay, Facebook marketplace and use funds to hire a van/removal firm before March. Put it to your landlord that once you move the property could remain empty due to the high rent resulting in him losing more money than if he just let you all stay. This might buy you a few more months to move.

ReallyStuck2024 · 11/12/2024 18:01

Thank you everyone again.

I am reading through all of the responses but the other tenants and I have now had written notice of our rental increase.

My LL has lowered the increase fixed till May, when he’s asked to increase it again (he can’t do this). But -By May, I will have left. he’s raised it by about 9%, which isn’t great but is much better than the 40% increase he indicated verbally.

I am going to save like crazy before now and May and get out and to a place I’m happier in. I had good advice from Shelter earlier today.

I have also opened up a credit union account. That’s where I will be saving with (not just stuffing fivers underneath my mattress).

I feel a lot more positive now. Once I am re settled I’m going to look at a better paying job, but for now the flexibility (given I can wfh) does suit me. One thing at a time I think.

OP posts:
Flavourful · 11/12/2024 18:03

I think you need to go on turn to us benefit calculator. put your situation in as it now with 2 jobs and current rent. See what comes up. Next you need to do it again with both jobs and your new rent. Then again with 1 job and new rent.
youll be amazed by the difference it can make. You may be better off stopping one job and getting the help of UC. Do the maths, don’t run yourself into the ground to pay someone else’s mortgage

ReallyStuck2024 · 11/12/2024 18:16

Flavourful · 11/12/2024 18:03

I think you need to go on turn to us benefit calculator. put your situation in as it now with 2 jobs and current rent. See what comes up. Next you need to do it again with both jobs and your new rent. Then again with 1 job and new rent.
youll be amazed by the difference it can make. You may be better off stopping one job and getting the help of UC. Do the maths, don’t run yourself into the ground to pay someone else’s mortgage

I have looked and there’s a number of grants I am eligible for!

OP posts:
Kerrie1973 · 11/12/2024 18:33

ReallyStuck2024 · 10/12/2024 17:11

I know this is really vague, I’m trying to remain anonymous as possible (ha). Staying with family is not an option, for very good reasons on their end. Friends would be but literally overnight on a sofa.

Try trustedsitters.co.uk for house sitting options.