To think two under two is exhausting and crazy?

[hiiiya]

But equally to wonder if it’s notably ‘worse’ than two under two and a half or two under three even? Is there something about under two that’s exceptionally intense?

I had a 3 year gap. 1 and 4 was by far the hardest year of my life. 3 and 6 onwards was easy ish. They’re 9 and 12 now and it’s a good gap 😀

I'm due DC2 next month and have DD 16 months...I can't wait!

2 under 2 is the holy grail of Mumsnet and apparently the correct way to live your life. Some of us were too infertile/broke/incompetent/overwhelmed to pull it off.

I found two in the 3-7 year range a lot harder than 2 under 2. Sorry.

I remember my DD being born. And I remember her 1st birthday.

The time in the middle was spent in a half asleep brain frazzled fog.

(20 months age gap).

I had twins... I think there's benefits to all. Close together in age means you've finished with the baby stage much earlier in your own life. Not close together means the older siblings can help with the younger ones maybe?

I have a 9 month old and due in Feb there will be 11 months between them. I'll let you know if I survive or not 😂

I suppose for me it's not about the sleep, more about the second set of nappies and danger baby. U know u can't leave for 2 seconds because they up to no gd.

We have a 2.5yr age gap. I was so glad she was out of nappies, dummy had also been gone a while and she was in a big girl bed. She cld speak well and I cld leave her for a few minutes to sort out the baby.

If it had been 6months or more prior to that then none of that wld have been possible.

Pregnancy is hard with another kid around and I imagine there wld be a lot more lifting of eldest child if it were under 2.

Once eldest got to 5 it was a lot easier and now they are 7 and 5. They play together have same interests so it makes life easier.

I had 2 under 2 (18 months between them) I planned it that way and yes it was exhausting sometimes but they napped at the same time, liked very similar toys (DS1 has a disability), enjoyed the same kind of activities. They’ve stayed pretty close and are now young adults again going through the same life stages. My sister and I are even closer in age and are also still really close.

My DC are exactly 2 years and 2 days apart. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Yes, it was hard work but now they’re bigger, they play fantastically together. My sister has DC 4 years apart and they are on totally different wavelengths and NEVER play together, so, for me in that respect, it was worth it having them close in age.

I actually loved it. My 15 month gap was my favourite. It was a bit chaotic but they were close enough in age that major milestones weren’t too far apart. We ended up with 4 under 6 and that was quite chaotic, busy y when you are outnumbered!

I had two under two which was chaotic and overwhelming at times but once they were 3 and 4 it became much easier as they were physically capable of similar stuff and could play relatively independently together. Now they are 9 and 10, it’s a real benefit that they are so close in age.

But there’s no perfect age gap - all will have their benefits and downsides.

We have a two year age gap almost exactly, and it’s really lovely. They are nearly 9 and 7 now and play together, enjoy the same tv shows, the same days out still interest them etc. I wanted a three year age gap and DS was a huge surprise, but it’s turned out wonderfully and I wouldn’t change it. It was definitely a bit mad in the early days of juggling two though, leaving the house was a mission!

I had 3 under 2...not sure how I survived. Lots of tears from us all I think, now they're a lot older they all bicker like cats and dogs. It never ever truly gets easier, just different stages but I do adore them.

I had two born a year apart almost to the day. I didn't find it hard. Its harder now they are teens

hard stares in twin mum

This is why I'm one and done.
Too small an age gap and you're in the baby throws for eternity
Too big and they have no common ground and you're juggling different needs and priorities.
Not ashamed to say, one is PLENTY for me 🤣🤣

I didn’t find it too difficult as they both did the same things at the same time. So school one year apart. Played together. Easy to share clothes.

I had a 20 month age gap and number three is due next year, 23 months after number two, so we'll have about 5 months of three under 4. It's bloody hard work, and I don't love the baby/toddler phase - but I also don't regret it: we knew we wanted three and if I'd have waited longer and got more of myself and my life back I don't know that I'd have gone back again. I've no experience of bigger age gaps, but to be honest I think all come with their hard bits and easier bits!

And another one here with no time for being guilt tripped about looking forward to having older kids - there are some bits of baby- and toddlerhood which are lovely, but by and large I had children because I'm so looking forward to when they're a bit older and can do more things/communicate more, not because I'm thrilled by sleepless nights, tantrums and nappies. No shame in going through something hard to get to a longer term goal.

My two under 2 are now 14 and 12 (coming up 13) I also have a 17yo and now have a 4yo. The first 2 or 3 years of having all three of them were incredibly tough, so so draining and exhausting. Now it's lovely, they are all fairly easy teens, the odd argument here and there but they get on well most of the time.

Being a SAHM sounds worse tbh because you (presumably?) don't get the benefit of putting the eldest in nursery when on mat leave with the second. That sounds insanely hard.

In my experience, it's all the nappies. All the poo. Just so much faeces.

Haha there's 16 months between mine and I think this every morning. I change two poopy nappies then go downstairs and empty two cat poos from the litter tray... Basically deal with the shit of 4 living creatures before 7am every morning. The joy!

Somewhat confused: how did the 8 year gap between DC1 and DC3 "get the baby years over together"?

It's the opposite end I'd be more worried about - two teenagers, that's a no for me. I found them being small much easier - with exception to the lack of sleep.

My mum says the hardest bit was the exam years. Four consecutive years of big exams. 15 months between my sister and I. We get on great though.