To think two under two is exhausting and crazy?

[hiiiya]

But equally to wonder if it’s notably ‘worse’ than two under two and a half or two under three even? Is there something about under two that’s exceptionally intense?

I don't think that's particularly helpful to say to someone who is struggling - it just adds guilt that you're not enjoying the particular stage.

Of course you can, but these are words of wisdom from someone on the other side saying enjoy what life gives you in the moment, and don't focus on what's ahead, because before you know it you're old and passing on words of wisdom in the hope someone might take them on board.

It is super busy but, sleeplessness aside, I really enjoyed it. And as the grew, my two have become great mates and I credit that with how easy I am finding the teenage years.

If you think back to the sleepless nights, and the potty training, and the tantrums and the constant viruses, would you have found it helpful if someone told you to savour it? Because you're a better woman than me if you would have done. Young kids are fabulous but they're also bloody hard work.

We have a 2 year gap, it was generally pretty good, needed a double buggy etc, but love how close they have been to each other. The worst was over within a year or so, needing a double buggy was a pain, a buggy board wasn't enough.

I am unashamedly looking forward to the future when I might get some peace 😂

Young kids are great and I know they are hard work. Adult children are great, and hard work too. Looking back, the sleepless nights, the potty training, the tantrums, the illnesses were much more surmountable. Your care and concern carries on as your children grow and issues move on to a different level. My advice stands. Don't wish your life away.

I had 2 under 1, 2 under 16 months (twice) and 3 under 3. Loved my small gaps and would say it was 100 times easier than say a 3 year gap (had that twice), but I know I’ll be in the minority! Loved a busy house and lots of little ones.

I have 16 months between my first two, then just over two and a half years between my second and third, so I had three under four for a few weeks. It was busy but I really enjoyed those years. The three of them are best mates and really close now as adults aged 31, almost 30 and 27.

Is it wishing your life away or just looking forward?

it isn’t wishing pregnancy away to look forward to the birth of your baby.

Sorry meant to add … it is t a personal slight but I hate this guilt inducing crap.

What a ridiculous thing to say. Something doesn't become less exhausting because it was your choice to do it.

I’ve found 10/11 and 8/9 the easiest, when you can have actual conversations.

Can only speak for myself but it was fine. There's only so knackered it's possible to get. my first was 15 months old when my second was born so when he turned 2 my second was... 9 months? Have I counted on my fingers right? I can't imagine it would have been any easier had I waited an extra year.

I found it very hard in the first month, mainly because my older child wasn't old enough to know a new baby was coming, and was extremely emotional and clingy - which made me feel guilty and like I had made a mistake and ruined their life...it made me feel awful. After that it got much easier and they love each other more than anything now. But the stress and emotional toll were much higher than having a bigger age gap.

You're talking about six months of your life here with pregnancy and it doesn't equate. What I mean is that it's folly to wish away your offsprings' childhoods, because they'll be grown up and off before you know it. Recognise and savour the good times. Plenty of people said that to me when the children were younger, and one day you realise the truth in their comments. You're just not at that stage.

I had 2 under 2. It was ok, there were good days and bad days. They are 11 and 12 now, and it's so much easier. They have similar interests, so days out etc are easy.

It wouldn’t be my first choice. I had 22 months between mine and I think if I could go back in time I’d have four years.

I loved it... my girls are 18 months apart and I loved having 2 mat leaves close together.
Baby and toddler at the same time was so much fun.

As someone with a five minute age gap I think anyone inflicting double buggies, 💩 💩, tantrums, sleep deprivation etc on themselves is mad frankly, unless the biological clock is ticking very loudly. And my controversial opinion is that the children suffer for lack of 1:1 time with a caregiver unless you very carefully carve it out.

Best thing I did when it came to having my family was having them close together.

It's not for everyone, but it was totally the right decision for me. So no, it's not always crazy.

They weren't the good times for me. There were plenty of good moments of course, but I was exhausted and I didn't recognise myself. The good times have come a little later.

ETA - and I've no regrets, for lots of reasons the age gap has worked out brilliantly for our family. But those early years definitely weren't the years to savour, they were the years to endure to get to where we are now.

3 year age gap for mine. It’s still hard work but an ideal gap for us. DS1 was fully toilet trained before the baby came but it was hard work potty training when pregnant

I know of two cases where, due to unexpected arrival of triplets, family was dealing with 6 under 6. which makes 2 under 2 seem ... not that bad.

I had three under 3 and half - was mad and fun and hard work.

I was very tried but life threw in 4 major house moves starting in first pg - several job changes for DH and an exam 6 weeks post pfb in first 3 years of pfb life - plus lot of extended family drama and little help - so glad we did it that young as well and not late 30s.

Worked out 2 school years apart - GCSE and A-level same time twice - not so much fun TBH but still overall glad we did that - they are close which is nice but not guaranteed.