Lonely and sad. And bored.

[Hello113]

That's how I feel tonight. I feel okay generally atm but I just feel really alone tonight. Maybe it's Christmas and all the stuff that gets shoved in your face that makes you feel extra single and extra childless. I've made a dinner which wasn't as nice as I thought it would be and can't find anything I want to watch on tv. I'd go to bed if I thought I'd sleep through 😅

I'm also feeling very fed up, bored and lonely but I'm surrounded by kids, a partner, my mum, sister and partner.
I think you're right about the Christmas season putting on additional pressures.

I am recently single, my daughter is at her dad's I hear you. (And I know it is easier for me as I know DD will be back later in the week).

Do you have much social life? Even tho I am naturally an introvert I have been pushing myself to arrange more meet ups with friends. Not necessarily big nights out (I don't drink, anyway). But am going to a mate's on Friday just for a McDonalds and to watch TV. I find I massively look forward to small things like that now!

Hope you are ok. I am sure my reply doesn't help at all, but I didn't want to read and run.....

I do have a bit of a social life but everyone is always spending time with their partners and/or kids

Husband just sits in his own room watching his boring telly. If I join him he’s a total old misery sack. Will find something to complain about- always does. Adult child gaming in the other room, wearing headphones and talking to their own friends. I have the dog tho. She always has something nice to say. This evening we are discussing what we want to get each other for Christmas. Thankfully she’s very much of the same mind as me.

I have a husband and son but we have a gastroenteritis bug in the family and so we're pretty miserable too. I hear you on how winter is hard and I would love to be a bit of company for you. I'm in quarantine at the moment so also alone.

Do you have any pets Op?

I live alone, but am happy to do so. I don't get lonely as such, but occasionally am at a loose end, say if the weather is awful and I'm a bit stuck indoors, things like that.

All my family is coupled up with kids and grandkids. I look on it as the choice I made not to marry or have kids and focus on the freedom and financial benefits that brings. But very occasionally I do feel a bit meh. Not for long though as I count the positives!

I'm older now and realise that the lives of others is not always what I think it is and is rarely something to be envious about. Every kind of lifestyle has its pluses and minuses my own included.

I love the freedom of the single life though. Nobody whingeing, no endless dinners to cook on rotation, no washing machine going three times a day, endless clean ups, no poorly children, no school runs, and the best of all is NO Nativity play. Sorry bout that!

On the other hand I love children. Adore their little ways and the love they show. I enjoy all my N+Ns but quite honestly I am glad their presence in my life is transitory. Glad to hand them back!

Sorry for going on OP. I suppose I'm just saying that yes, there are times of the day, month and year when feelings of isolation can hit. It doesn't last forever, and try and focus on the positives.

A timid cat who hides most of the time. I'd love to get a little dog for company but I can't because the cat would hate it.

Doesn't help that the daylight hours are so short right now so the evenings seem to drag.

They do don't they. Day feels over by 3:30 and it's a long time until bed. I don't want to be wishing my life away but I feel a bit stuck for what to do in the evenings.

I've so many books to read, needlework/crafts to do/finish, could even spend time having a pamper but somehow it doesn't seem to hit the spot of what I feel will lift my spirits.

This must be the rut that I hear people talk about being stuck in.

We're the same tbh. My DS and I spend a lot of time reading MN together because we are bored stiff in the evening.

I'm feeling the same. Do have a bit of a social life and friends but partner is out a lot this time of year as more sociable work and has more 'dos'. I'm at home watching telly and my work night out is a week on Friday and is gong to be quite low key.

I'm feeling a bit flat tbh, suspect I'll feel better if I go to bed and have a dece nights sleep.

I’ve just lost my mum last month and even though I have a loving husband and kids and a fantastic sister I feel so down. I miss her so much no one can fill that hole. My husband just works so much and my kids are small and don’t really understand.

@LittleMG sorry to hear that. That sounds hard.

My DS is out of school with anxiety. I can't go in buildings with LED lights as they give me a headache and I have to wear an n95 mask when I go near people as covid knackered my immune system, so we're quite isolated.

We have zoom calls with people once week to have a bit of company and that is nice.

It reminds me, my Granny belonged to a network of people who all took turns being available on the phone. It was for elderly people who lived alone and she literally set up a rota of all the members so everyone knew who was available at what time if anyone wanted a chat. I thought that was nice. It was well before the internet was invented.

I'm retired work wise, mainly worked from home, moved house recently and now live in in the sticks, so to speak, hardly see anyone and those I do are so busy getting from a to b so very rarely stop to chat.

Thought once we became empty nesters and winding down from work our life would be more about getting out and about a bit more, coffee, cake, visiting different places locally and not being tied to time.

Still waiting...

Edited to add doesn't help that I've had to stop driving once it starts to get dark, limits when out on my own how long I stay out...although I wear glasses it's more to do with those really bright white lights cars have nowadays....practically blind me.
Who thought they were a good idea.

Aww if I lived close I would love to spend time with you and the timid cat. Why don't you tell us more about yourself, what have you been upto in the past few weeks or months? Have you been on holiday, my dream is to visit my friend in Göteborg and to go to the Maldives 😊
I also am dying to get my own cat but it doesn't seem to be feasible as one of my family members is scared...
Can you tell me about your cat, what is she/he like, besides timid? ;-)

Oh, that's a shame. I once belonged to a community orchestra and most of the people there had grown up children who had left home.

Yes they’re not always a good mix. You’d need to get a really quite dog breed definitely not the type that bothers cats. I had a poodle once who was good with cats. Lots of lap dogs are I think. Anyway, that’s another conversation! I would really recommend a little dog for company though. Mine is a lifesaver. I always say she’s small and fluffy but as much a ‘working’ dog as any other. Because she does a brilliant ‘job’ of being my bestie. Therapist, exercise coach, hot water bottle and house alarm all rolled into one.

Aww sending a hug. It’s a horrible time. I hope you can find a few moments of joy over Christmas though. Im sure your dear mum would hope that for you too x

That sounds hard. I really hope things improve for you and your Ds at some stage soon. Hang on in there.

He would really really hate it. I couldnt do it to him, it would be cruel.

It's a shame though because I'd love one. I looked after my friends daschund recently and he was such lovely company for me. Its not the cats fault but the cat just does his own thing and isn't really any company.