To mind Facebook posts which show pictures of my deceased parents

[Izzy24]

which are posted by my sibling? I truly don’t know whether IABU or not.

As an only child tbh OP I’ve never had this problem.

for me tbh it would depend on the context of the photo posting

FB and social media generally really have caused so much angst

If they were nice posts with photos of them I don't see an issue.

Edited

Why don't you like seeing them?

I suppose it’s context dependent?

Are they recently deceased? Are they posting nice memories of themselves together?

I suppose everyone deals with grief differently and they may be trying to deal with their own (pressumably equally valid) grief and looking over old photos and memories helps them?

Trying to put myself in the situation… would I mind my sibling posting photos of themselves and my parents with a comment along the lines of thinking of them/missing them is one thing… if it was a distant cousin who didn’t have much contact, and gave the impression they were trying to drum up sympathy for themselves then maybe I’d be taken aback, but if it were a sibling who had also had a good relationship I would try and look at it as them trying to muddle through their grief and feelings and maybe their way of processing is just different to yours?

My profile picture is of my dead parents. What's the issue?

It’s a picture of them from their early days together. A picture that was in a family album.

I don’t know truly whether I’m right or wrong to mind this. I just know that it feels personal and a memory that belongs just to family.

My sibling does know how I feel and this is the second anniversary of a death that they’ve done this.

But maybe they have a right to post it as much as I have a right to mind it.

Just don't look at their posts. There's nothing wrong with them posting a photo of their parents.

Nice pictures of good times and lovely memories like family parties or holidays I have no problem with.

However I have a friend who has a few pictures of her dad literally hours from death in hospital and after death still in his hospital gown and I never like when she posts these on the anniversary of his death.

My own dad died 3 years ago and at the time I posted a tribute with a picture of him in his early 30s with me as a young child in a field looking happy.

Should add I wouldn’t even have seen it if they hadn’t sent me a link to their post as I don’t really use Facebook

On dad's birthday and Father's Day I often put up a picture of dad.
(Been dead several years)
Older and younger pictures
I loved him and feel I honour/ celebrate him, but I wouldn't do it if it upset the family / siblings.
Maybe talk to her ...

Happy memories are there to be shared, not hidden in a book.

I’m sorry for your loss op but we all grieve differently and many find comfort in those happier times captured in a photograph.

I think you nailed it when you said they have the right to post, and you have the right to mind. You're entitled to have your feelings about it. You're not entitled to stop them, but you can expect them not to send you links. I'd ask for no links/screenshots going forward. I'm so sorry for your loss.

But maybe they have a right to post it as much as I have a right to mind it.

I think they probably do.

It’s a hard one OP and I do sympathise

tbh from the context you’ve given - I wouldn’t mind this but you’ve got a right to your feelings and therefore you’re right mind it iyswim

But maybe they have a right to post it as much as I have a right to mind it.

You've summed it up yourself with this OP.

You could nicely ask your sister not to send you the posts in future.

If you've asked her not to in the past then this is unnecessary and insensitive of her.

YABU. Up to them. Free agent and all that. Maybe it helps their grieving? And perhaps they like to share? Perhaps put their posts to silent or similar.
If my sibling had an issue with something similar, and made an issue out of it (complained to me etc) I would nicely but firmly tell them to deal with it

They are also your siblings parents remember.

Yes you are being unreasonable sorry, my mum passed away a year ago. My sister is always posting pics of her. She was her mum just as much as mine and if she wants to post her that's entirely up to her. You could always hide your siblings posts if you are finding it upsetting.

Lots of people put photos of parents on Facebook.

It’s one of those situations which neither of you are wrong.

They have as much right to. Fine if you don’t want to but doesn’t mean you can ban them

YANBU.

This is being done to spite you

Just don’t look at them then. Different people deal with things in different ways I think you would be unreasonable to raise this with her.

Just don't click on the link if she sends you it next anniversary and maybe let her know it upsets you seeing the pics shared and whilst it's up to her to share what she likes of her own parents on fb, can she not send you the link please.

You can't control what they do, I'd mind as well. I fucking hate Facebook and most other sm and don't understand why people want to spang their private info all over it so someone else can reap in advertising multi bucks.

But you can't stop them.

My dad died suddenly in the summer. My mum died of cancer 7 years earlier. In the picture they're young, beautiful and happy. My siblings and their siblings have all commented on how lovely it is and seeing it every day brings me joy.
I don't know how I'd react if a sibling asked me to take it down. I don't understand the harm.