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Original poster

What text to send to gauge his interest?

66 replies

BeAzureNewt · 09/12/2024 10:23

Been dating someone that's been hot and cold. Several misunderstandings have happened the last month, and he is being a bit distant. Last text was initiated by me, and he replied a day later after seeing my story, and we were formal with each other. He liked my story yesterday and then posted a new picture of him, which I liked today. He didn't text me, but generally, he knows I sort of text him every 5 to 7 days.

I want to shoot my shot and text him just to get a clear idea where I stand with him and if he is just being stubborn at this point. I don't want to text to make him interested again—I sort of want to do it for me as I need that to close this chapter if I must. Is it desperate to let him know I like him and liked his latest picture?

In the past, every time I have overthought about this guy, I had been wrong and just wondering if this is the case.
I thought of just texting ,good morning handsome and see what he says

OP posts:
saveforthat · 09/12/2024 10:25

Mmm. Does anyone actually speak to each other nowadays or is all interaction via social media?

Fraaahnces · 09/12/2024 10:28

Honestly you would know by now, I think…

Original poster
BeAzureNewt · 09/12/2024 10:30

@Fraaahnces
I don't know to be honest cause I am cold with him in convo as well.
A couple of misunderstandings have happened on my side but we never discussed them.

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 09/12/2024 10:30

Don’t waste your time on somebody who does the whole “hot and cold” game playing. It’s just going to bring you a whole heap of miserable second guessing and really dent your self esteem. His attitude is now causing you to play the same games - it really shouldn’t be this hard.

Original poster
BeAzureNewt · 09/12/2024 10:31

@ComtesseDeSpair
I know that but for me to really move is verbally communicate otherwise I keep like a fool a glimer of hope.

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 09/12/2024 10:33

BeAzureNewt · 09/12/2024 10:31

@ComtesseDeSpair
I know that but for me to really move is verbally communicate otherwise I keep like a fool a glimer of hope.

But if he responds positively to your “hello handsome” text then that’s just going to be another glimmer. He’s keeping you dangling because he knows how you feel and wants to retain you as an option until he decides which of the other women he’s seeing he wants to go with. That’s the reality.

Catgotm · 09/12/2024 10:36

Been dating someone that's been hot and cold. Several misunderstandings have happened the last month, and he is being a bit distant

major major red flags. 🚩 why do you want to waste your precious time on an adult who you have to second guess? At the point he should be on his best behaviour proving how great he is. Don’t sell yourself short.

JingleB · 09/12/2024 10:36

Hell no, you’re prolonging your uncertainty.

It isn’t happening. That’s ok. Sometimes things misfire a bit.

Forget about him.

Blueberrymuffin8 · 09/12/2024 10:36

He has been blowing hot and cold and you're still wondering how to 'get him'. Why??? He is clearly not that bothered about you.

Please gain some self respect, I mean that in the kindest possible way.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 09/12/2024 10:37

what were these misunderstandings what actually happened?

ItGhoul · 09/12/2024 10:38

How long have you been 'dating'? Do you ever actually see each other in real life or do you just text every few days and like each other's social media posts?

This doesn't really sound like an actual relationship to me at all, and you've already had a number of misunderstandings. This clearly isn't going anywhere. Just have some dignity about it and move on.

HardlyLikely · 09/12/2024 10:40

But he obviously has no interest. No need to gauge.

Original poster
BeAzureNewt · 09/12/2024 10:40

@Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast
I texted him good morning ,he called me ,I didn't pick up when I called back he said he is going to call later.
4 hours later I message him asking if he wants to stop talking and he doesn't know how to bring it up to me,He got upset by that.
Next day son genuinely calls him from my work number on whatsapp where my name is on and he asked who is this ,I didn't reply but called back ,at which point he must have seen my name pop up.
Then I unfollwed him on tiktok by mistake ,he only has like 40 followers there.

OP posts:
GodRestYouMerryGentlewench · 09/12/2024 10:41

Two threads??

Original poster
BeAzureNewt · 09/12/2024 10:42

@ItGhoul
We have gone on dates and also been intimate ,facetimed ,talked on the phone etc

OP posts:
CleanShirt · 09/12/2024 10:43

This all sounds really long. What's the point? Just throw this one back?

Original poster
BeAzureNewt · 09/12/2024 10:43

@GodRestYouMerryGentlewench
Yes 2 ,I feel full on obsessed and don't know how to stop

OP posts:
Catgotm · 09/12/2024 10:43

Girl you’re too old for TikTok

HardlyLikely · 09/12/2024 10:44

BeAzureNewt · 09/12/2024 10:40

@Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast
I texted him good morning ,he called me ,I didn't pick up when I called back he said he is going to call later.
4 hours later I message him asking if he wants to stop talking and he doesn't know how to bring it up to me,He got upset by that.
Next day son genuinely calls him from my work number on whatsapp where my name is on and he asked who is this ,I didn't reply but called back ,at which point he must have seen my name pop up.
Then I unfollwed him on tiktok by mistake ,he only has like 40 followers there.

You’re old enough to have a child, seriously?

Original poster
BeAzureNewt · 09/12/2024 10:45

@HardlyLikely
Yes I am and I am here for advice cause I am obsessing and not for judgement.
It can happen at any age

OP posts:
BlastedPimples · 09/12/2024 10:46

You would absolutely know if he was into you. You wouldn't be wondering at all.

Just drop it entirely.

He's not into you. Take charge and drop it.

2chocolateoranges · 09/12/2024 10:46

if the beginning of a friendship/relationship is this difficult then it’s not meant to be.

why do women put up with this shit, aim high and don’t ever settle for someone that blows hot and cold

CleanShirt · 09/12/2024 10:47

BeAzureNewt · 09/12/2024 10:45

@HardlyLikely
Yes I am and I am here for advice cause I am obsessing and not for judgement.
It can happen at any age

You're not taking any of the advice on board though, you've posted countless threads about this man and have seemingly ignored everything.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 09/12/2024 10:50

That seems like a lot of drama. Are you sure this is the sort of thing you want in your life?

Original poster
BeAzureNewt · 09/12/2024 10:50

@CleanShirt
I know that and I acknowledge I am obsessed at this point,I know I will forget him eventually but some days like this are harder and others I do just fine.
I am not finding the courage to delete him from my socials so that he can't interact with me anymore in any level.

OP posts: