To be annoyed play centre held a party at the same time as open session?

[Hohohoididnotgo]

I went to a little role play cafe today with my children. It’s only small so probably only capacity for about thirty kids. Fine except today there was a birthday party which was pretty much the whole centre. So after an hour or so of play pretty much every other child there went and sat at a table with food, balloons and cake and were playing party games.

I have had this before at soft play and obviously it happens but at soft play it’s bigger and less obvious and when the children go to eat and play games it’s in a separate room. This wasn’t.

AIBU? I felt a bit sad for mine as they’d struck up friendships with some kids playing and then they were left almost alone!

I think that would have been preferable in some ways but as I’ve said I don’t actually think they should have accepted bookings.

Yes obviously they aren’t going to go home with other kids but it’s a bit out of sight out of mind, isn’t it? Here they were literally in front of them!

Plus it does alter the atmosphere when you’ve only one other child playing.

Learning experience yes except you’re not paying for a learning experience; you’re paying for your child to have fun and when they don’t then it does leave a bit of a negative feeling.

There’s a lovely place near us that do crafting parties.
They are open on some days to the general public but at other times closed for Parties. The two don’t overlap.
Its been around for years, so clearly doing well.

You job as a parent is to remove her.

That really doesn't need explaining... Imagine being so mannerless and then posting about it online.

Most of us have dealt with headstrong toddlers by the way, we pack up and leave when they are unruly.

Mostly cost related to be honest, £30 isn’t cheap (paid just under £15 for two children) so was a bit loath to cut it short for that reason.

@Pookie2022 my youngest is only 18 months and I think we’d have had similar struggles if it wasn’t that her sister is 3 so understood a bit better. As you say otherwise they just keep running back. Of course you can ‘be the parent’ and remove them and eventually have to leave but the point is you shouldn’t really be put in that position in the first place.

Perhaps in retrospect the centre staff would look at the scene and think they could have done things differently, but I don't think you can blame them.

That said, while you are not entitled to join the party, if your numbers are correct and I was hosting a party for 25 and there were literally 3 other kids there, I would invite them to join the games.

That's AIBU for you, isn't it?

The venue could at least have explained to OP when she booked that 25 of the 30 places for that time slot were already booked for a party, which would take place in the same room, and that hers might be the only children not included. I think most parents would then decide to go at a different time. I know I would.

Play centres usually get plenty of repeat business, so you want to avoid upsetting children and pissing off parents in situations when it's easily avoided.

Our job, as parents, is to help our children negotiate less-than-perfect situations; not to make everything perfect for them. Your children will survive seeing someone else have their birthday party. Nobody has done anything wrong here. The cafe is a business and unless they maximise their income, they will close...simple as that.

Has parenting changed in the last 15 years since mine went to soft play? You would just tell them no you can't go there and play with them yourselves and keep them occupied when its quiet. Its a non issue.

It sounds as though if the party hadnt been there, there would only have been a couple of kids. Surely you can see this wouldnt cover their costs

I too would have chosen a different time if I'd known that 25/30 spaces was a birthday party.

I was responding to pp who let her 22 month old gatecrash a party.

In your situation, I’d have made a big fuss about having the play place to themselves when the others were doing activities. Exclusive use! Sounds amazing.

Like others have said, if a place can have 30 children in, it’s rare they would close if it hasn’t filled. Children just have to learn that they aren’t invited to the party.

As usual on mumsnet, people line up to be disingenuous.
this is not a large soft play where 20 kids go off for a party and leave 30 still playing or even where’s there are 2 or 3 parties and 20 -40 still playing.
it was basically a private hire and then a few add ons.
I have NEVER heard of this at any venue I have attended.
so 25 kids go off in front of you and leave 3 to play in the place.
I also don’t think the OP has ever suggested her kids should have been invited to the party more that the venue shouldn’t have had a few kids extra outside the party.
YANBU OP.

That's very usually and sounds amazing... Love the idea of crafting parties ...might do that for dd next time.

But what if you’d taken your children and it was only them there plus a couple of others? Would the enjoyment of your session be compromised? Of course, you might be a little disappointed but that’s the way of things - the place could be full or almost empty.

As for the party, surely this is completely normal? My DC have been to similar - small play centre, large birthday and they only moaned for a few seconds (because they wanted a party bag). They enjoyed playing with the attendees and understood that they were having extras because they’d paid for a party. They knew that if they chose to have their party there, they’d get the same.

The play centre I mentioned has now shut sadly due to financial pressures. Don’t make it harder for them unnecessarily.

The OP is saying the tickets shouldn’t have been sold to her, not the party.

Is it a full moon tonight?

It's not the role of this business to protect you from having to be a parent. You're paying for use of the equipment, not to have your children's every whims pandered to so you don't have to face any minor upsets.

I get it, OP. I don't know why everyone is being so obtuse. I do think it's a bit off to not at least warn you when you book or just not be open on a party weekend when it's somewhere small.

YABVU

I’ve been to lots of parties/ soft play sessions and it’s very rare for play centres to close when there’s a party on, and they don’t tell you when you book either as they have so many parties. Customers would be very annoyed if they closed for a party, and party prices would go up significantly to make up for lost business.

You have two DC so at least they had each other to play with. There will always be quieter times, party or not.

Never had that, but I’d deal with it if it happened. As a general rule I find when my kid are indulged with friends, party and presents they are on a high and happy with everything. They’ll give a random toddler a fruit shoot themselves

Shouldn't be in the position of having basic manners?

Do you do nothing when you kid steals another kids toy? I mean you 'shouldn't be in the position' that their parents bought their kid something your kid doesn't have right?

I imagine your the type that calls it 'sharing' and demands others be forced to do it though.

It boggles my mind how some people deal with life... you basically are a brand new mam with two little toddlers, you are in for some real world shocks as time goes on and you start to realize how all this stuff actually works (like hosting class parties etc...).

I think they should have at least advised you before accepting the booking. Most places like that would close I think.

I was waiting in a&e with my DC recently - DC had their tablet and was watching Disney with headphones. A little girl of about 18 months behind us kept coming over and grabbing the tablet. Her mum would half-heartedly shout her back, then eventually come over with sigh and remove her, only for her to come straight back and try to grab the tablet. After the 5th time, she said to her mum, this is ridiculous, they should put that away, it’s distracting dear child, how am I supposed to stop this?

Obviously she was completely ignored. Some people think others need to help them parent.

Great, so they got a valuable life lesson and a nice play session in the same day. What's the issue?

We'd already paid for the play session, so no the family wouldn't have had to pay. In our case, it was in a play cafe, where it's a closed session from say 10 until 12, not families coming in and out.

So you had one smallish room, set up for a birthday - bowls of crisps, sandwiches, birthday cake, balloons etc. Party games like pass the parcel and musical statues. Then say 25 children all eating cake and playing, then three other children, whose families had all booked the session and paid for it in advance (unaware there was a party at the same time), who were 4m away from the festivities but excluded.

I wouldn't expect another family to pay, no. But as it would have cost them nothing, any decent person would say "This is a bit of an awkward situation! But we'd love for you to play musical statues with us, and have a slice of cake, if you'd like".

Edited to say too - the venue was also massively at fault, as really not best practice for a business catering to children either (mainly 0-5s). They should have closed for a private event, as many play cafes / small soft plays do at the weekends, to facilitate birthday parties.