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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think children should be made to behave in a theatre?

132 replies

Sziasztok · 08/12/2024 10:57

Went to an amateur pantomime on a Friday, that a friend was performing in. It was in the theatre of a local school. During the entire performance, kids were running all over the theatre, including climbing up on the stage to scream at and prod the performers. They paused the performance twice to ask parents to keep their children off the stage (at one point, one little shit, who looked to be about 8, was at the front of the stage, kicking and trying to smash the lights). Two kids stood in the aisle and had a screaming competition. Again, they paused the performance as no-one could hear anything.

I asked my friend if it was always that bad. She said that the matinées that they did for schools were fine, as the teachers didn’t allow bad behaviour and any disruptive child was either told off or removed. But the evening performances always had to be paused at least once to get kids off the stage, and parents seemed to think it was cute/funny.

To be clear, it wasn’t just one or two kids who were disruptive, it was the vast majority of them. And it wasn’t the normal interaction with the cast (“He’s behind you!”) or inviting the kids on stage, it ruined the whole performance. Is this normal behaviour these days? Mine would have been removed or read the riot act if they had behaved like this.

OP posts:
Cynic17 · 08/12/2024 10:59

Totally agree. Some parents are shocking, and have no consideration.

BananaNirvana · 08/12/2024 10:59

Sadly doesn’t surprise me - behaviour gets worse year by year. Ex primary teacher - and ex for a reason 😢

Anoisagusaris · 08/12/2024 10:59

I’ve never ever seen anything like that at our panto or musicals or at my child’s performing arts concerts ….I genuinely can’t recall one child running around.

brusselsprout5 · 08/12/2024 11:00

Soft parenting! Sadly I'm a teacher so I'm fucking flabbergasted usually at this sort of behaviour!

Anoisagusaris · 08/12/2024 11:00

I’m not in the UK.

DustyLee123 · 08/12/2024 11:00

Of course they should sit and watch the show. If they can’t the parents should remove them.

Butchyrestingface · 08/12/2024 11:03

I’m involved in a lot of pantomimes through work. So I see multiple live performances of the same show, school performances and general public performances.

i would not say the behaviour you describe is remotely typical. Must be hell for the poor performers.

Whinge · 08/12/2024 11:04

BananaNirvana · 08/12/2024 10:59

Sadly doesn’t surprise me - behaviour gets worse year by year. Ex primary teacher - and ex for a reason 😢

I agree.

5 years ago this sort of behaviour would have shocked me, now i'm shocked if I don't encounter it. Sad

MumOfOneAllAlone · 08/12/2024 11:05

I thought you were gonna say that some kids were making a bit of noise or something. This is insane. My DD is autistic so does get a bit excited and overwhelmed but I would still be sitting with her and trying to manage her behaviour during performance like this 😳

Oblomov24 · 08/12/2024 11:06

I dint understand parents like this. Awful parenting.

Treeof · 08/12/2024 11:09

Sadly not surprising. I can’t believe people just stood by when their kids were climbing on stage - totally disgraceful parenting (and yeah, I am judging).

cuddlebear · 08/12/2024 11:11

Yanbu.

However, it isn’t just children. I went to the theatre last weekend and a large group of adults talked, whooped and play fought each other through the whole performance.

Other people were telling them to STFU but they didn’t care. An usher threatened them with security but nothing happened when they continued.

I would say the average age of the group was 45, and the ringleader was a woman of about 70.

rainbowbee · 08/12/2024 11:20

Yes. People don't behave properly in public any more so many children aren't witnessing appropriate behaviour. Even some adults can't conduct themselves politely in a theatre.
The school brought us to a children's play for a treat when we were about 10. The expectation of no noise, no messing about and respect for the cast/venue was made clear. There was a big bag of sweets passed down the line twice and that was it. A few of the boys threw their sweets at each other and were immediately removed from main group to sit beside the teachers.
It shocks me how some kids are allowed to behave these days, and I'm only early 40s.

Floralnomad · 08/12/2024 11:23

Totally agree , it is shocking how some parents allow their kids to behave in public . It is no wonder that the teachers have such problems in some schools as there appear to be numerous children now who are raised with no boundaries or rules at all .

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 08/12/2024 11:24

@Sziasztok utterly shocked at this!! I have taken grandkids to theatre for many years and never saw this kind of behavior from any child! what are the parents thinking of???

Needmorelego · 08/12/2024 11:25

Were these families told to leave?
That behaviour sounds unbelievably extreme.
I can't believe the theatre (or whoever was in charge as you said it was an amateur production) let it happen without chucking these people out.

Treeof · 08/12/2024 11:26

cuddlebear · 08/12/2024 11:11

Yanbu.

However, it isn’t just children. I went to the theatre last weekend and a large group of adults talked, whooped and play fought each other through the whole performance.

Other people were telling them to STFU but they didn’t care. An usher threatened them with security but nothing happened when they continued.

I would say the average age of the group was 45, and the ringleader was a woman of about 70.

Seriously? What kind of performance?

zingally · 08/12/2024 11:30

Sadly doesn't surprise me. Mine would never be allowed to do this.

Earlier in the week, I went into school during the day to see my DD sing with her class.
There was a little girl of perhaps 4 in the audience with her dad, sat in the second row. He allowed her to push through the parents sat in front to stand in front of the audience and parade around and dance to all the music. She was getting in the way of the parents trying to record/take photos. Her dad was totally clueless.

whatkatydid2014 · 08/12/2024 11:35

I’ve not seen this and we go to all sorts though not pantomimes since they were a lot younger as neither like them. I’ve taken my two regularly since they were about 5/7 to all sorts (musicals, plays, ballet/dance, concerts etc). I think you expect some level of noise/moving about if it’s a performance aimed at kids and with a lot of younger ones but even with that I’d expect parents to intervene well before anyone tries to climb on the stage. Even at things like the Julia Donaldson shows when kids were tiny we didn’t see that.

lunar1 · 08/12/2024 11:41

Awful parents raising awful children, and it won't be long before people come along to start mitigating the behaviour.

PeachBlossom1234 · 08/12/2024 11:43

I went to a 6pm showing of Wicked last night at the cinema. There were kids running up and down the aisle the entire way through, I was furious! It is not normal behaviour at all to act that way in a theatre of any kind. If they can’t sit still then you don’t take them until they can!

MyPithyPoster · 08/12/2024 11:45

Can you actually imagine doing that in the 80s you wouldn’t have been able to sit down for a week your arse would’ve been so sore
Even in the 2000s mine would absolutely have been taken home at the first hint of that nonsense

SunnyHappyPeople · 08/12/2024 11:45

My kids are older so thankfully don't go to these performances anymore. But yes, some behaviour was terrible. If your child is screaming or behaving badly, take them out the damn theatre! Why should everyone else that has paid have to put up with it. And don't get me started on parents taking babies! I've seen newborns at performances. Unbelievable.

cuddlebear · 08/12/2024 11:46

Treeof · 08/12/2024 11:26

Seriously? What kind of performance?

A Christmas Musical Show. Not cheap.

Nanny0gg · 08/12/2024 11:52

cuddlebear · 08/12/2024 11:46

A Christmas Musical Show. Not cheap.

I'd have expected a refund for that as the theatre didn't act

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