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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think children should be made to behave in a theatre?

132 replies

Sziasztok · 08/12/2024 10:57

Went to an amateur pantomime on a Friday, that a friend was performing in. It was in the theatre of a local school. During the entire performance, kids were running all over the theatre, including climbing up on the stage to scream at and prod the performers. They paused the performance twice to ask parents to keep their children off the stage (at one point, one little shit, who looked to be about 8, was at the front of the stage, kicking and trying to smash the lights). Two kids stood in the aisle and had a screaming competition. Again, they paused the performance as no-one could hear anything.

I asked my friend if it was always that bad. She said that the matinées that they did for schools were fine, as the teachers didn’t allow bad behaviour and any disruptive child was either told off or removed. But the evening performances always had to be paused at least once to get kids off the stage, and parents seemed to think it was cute/funny.

To be clear, it wasn’t just one or two kids who were disruptive, it was the vast majority of them. And it wasn’t the normal interaction with the cast (“He’s behind you!”) or inviting the kids on stage, it ruined the whole performance. Is this normal behaviour these days? Mine would have been removed or read the riot act if they had behaved like this.

OP posts:
MereDintofPandiculation · 08/12/2024 15:56

LawrenceSMarlowforPresident · 08/12/2024 14:11

I attended a matinee performance at a London theatre several years ago. Many children were well behaved. However, the behaviour of the children in one school group was shocking. They shouted, threw things at each other, and even poured water on people in the stalls below. We were sitting a few rows behind them and as far as I could see, their teachers did nothing to stop them.

My grammar school got taken to see Swan Lake in the 60s. We were upstairs, front row of the balcony, dropping rolled up sweet wrappers on the general public seated below us. Bad behaviour has always happened to some extent.

MereDintofPandiculation · 08/12/2024 15:59

This behaviour sounds horrendous - but surely the job of the ushers is to warm and then remove children (and their parents) that are behaving so appallingly? It’s hard to fathom why it was allowed to escalate so badly
How is an usher, on minimum wage or a volunteer, going to remove a badly behaving family when the adults are mouthing off at her and maybe threatening violence?

Needmorelego · 08/12/2024 16:05

@MereDintofPandiculation they call the police if the people refuse to leave.

SnoopysHoose · 08/12/2024 16:38

@anxioussister
surely the job of the ushers is to warm and then remove children (and their parents) that are behaving so appallingly?
my DD17 working as an usher asked a man with his family in tow to put his bottle of vodka away and was spat on, she left after that last abuse.

pinkroses79 · 08/12/2024 16:42

I took my children at around age 3 to watch the pantomime, they did not behave like this and neither did anyone else's children. It sounds shocking, I would have complained as the theatre is expensive and your enjoyment was ruined.

ReceptionTA · 08/12/2024 16:54

This does seem to be the modern way. Some parents just don't tell their children off these days. Most children will behave in school, because staff show them what is and isn't appropriate in the setting, and most children want to please adults. However, in the last few years more and more children in school are refusing to do as they're asked, happily running riot, climbing on furniture, throwing toys etc and basically being unable to access an education because their behaviour is so poor. It seems to be a combination of neurodiversity and not great parenting, but there must be other factors contributing to this explosion of poor behaviour and general lack of respect. I can totally believe what the OP has described.

Rocksaltrita · 08/12/2024 17:02

No one behaves at the theatre or in the cinema these days. That said, I’ve just been to a niche performance at a very middle class arty theatre on the other side of town and it was noticeable how well behaved everyone was! I commented to my DC as we left. No noise, no rustling, no pushing and shoving, everyone polite. It’s amazing what money/catchment area can do.

MereDintofPandiculation · 08/12/2024 17:11

Needmorelego · 08/12/2024 16:05

@MereDintofPandiculation they call the police if the people refuse to leave.

Hmm. Do the police get there before the end of the show?

Needmorelego · 08/12/2024 17:13

@MereDintofPandiculation if I was in charge I would stop the performance as well as calling the police.
I know it would be a pain to the rest of the audience and the cast and crew but I am sure there would be plenty of mobile phone footage that means the selfish family can be named and shamed all over social media.

MereDintofPandiculation · 08/12/2024 17:18

@Needmorelego I think you would find after half an hour that you'd be having to refund all those people who couldn't just hang around until the show restarted.

ReggaetonLente · 08/12/2024 17:25

CandyMaker · 08/12/2024 14:35

You don;t get this type of bad behaviour in working class areas. Its middle class parents to blame.

Also my experience

Balletdreamer · 08/12/2024 17:29

I’m done with the theatre. Cannot believe how many people chat during performances, ans the constantly rustling of crisp and sweet packets. Can people seriously not go an hour without having to stuff their faces.

Shityshitybangbang · 08/12/2024 17:34

Rocksaltrita · Today 17:02
You have got to be joking. Middle and upper class are the worst. Some of the behaviour I have saw from all those little Arabellas and Hubert’s have been shocking.

Needmorelego · 08/12/2024 17:52

@MereDintofPandiculation well yes. The organisers could sue the twatty family I suppose.
Personally I'd rather wait half an hour for annoying people to be removed than have to put up with them being there during the performance.

Bumblebeestiltskin · 08/12/2024 17:56

Yikes, that sounds awful! I took my daughter to the theatre when she was 6, thinking she'd be fine - she did last almost all the way through, but towards the end it got too much for her and she was getting upset, not wanting to stay in her seat and so on. So I took her out! I explained it was fine if she was struggling to sit in her seat, but that she couldn't disturb everyone else trying to enjoy the show. I gave her the choice to go home if she was struggling, or go back in if she thought she could cope till the end of the show.

Flapjacka · 08/12/2024 18:01

Mylifeisamesssuchamess · 08/12/2024 15:44

It's not terrible to have different behaviour with your safe people necessarily but it's not fair to ruin a performance for other people. That isn't acceptable.

Yes, that goes without saying

Bushmillsbabe · 08/12/2024 18:08

That's shocking. I took my Rainbows group (aged 4-7) to cinema today and apart from needing the toilet, I didn't hear a peep from them the entire movie.

There is of course the occasional crying baby or toddler, but apart from that, I wouod never expect to see the behaviour described by OP. My 5 year old wouod struggle to stay silent and sit for 2 hours in a theatre, so I wouldn't take her until I thought she wouod be ready

RedRobyn2021 · 08/12/2024 18:12

I thought this would be one of those posts where you were complaining the kids were a bit loud, but this really really isn't on

Parents should be removing their kids, what are they even doing??

2010Aussie · 08/12/2024 18:24

Floralnomad · 08/12/2024 11:23

Totally agree , it is shocking how some parents allow their kids to behave in public . It is no wonder that the teachers have such problems in some schools as there appear to be numerous children now who are raised with no boundaries or rules at all .

Two events this weekend. 1. Christmas concert with adult choir and children's school choir. Younger siblings allowed to run up and down the aisles screaming during performance. Very distracting for performers. 2. Christmas Tree festival in a large church. Very busy. Couple of toddlers allowed to run around bumping into people, pulling at the Christmas Trees. Steward asked parent to keep children under control as they were a danger to themselves and others. Reply "They are only two."

2010Aussie · 08/12/2024 18:35

RosieLeaf · 08/12/2024 13:34

They should be asked to leave. No exceptions.

There seems to be a reluctance now for places of entertainment to ask people to leave. Perhaps they are terrified of bad reviews on Trip Advisor etc? But totally unreasonable for other customers to have to put up with bad behaviour and the only way the message is going to get across is if the perpetrators are thrown out.

RosieLeaf · 08/12/2024 18:36

2010Aussie · 08/12/2024 18:35

There seems to be a reluctance now for places of entertainment to ask people to leave. Perhaps they are terrified of bad reviews on Trip Advisor etc? But totally unreasonable for other customers to have to put up with bad behaviour and the only way the message is going to get across is if the perpetrators are thrown out.

I’d leave an excellent review if they threw disruptive little oiks out.

coxesorangepippin · 08/12/2024 18:37

If you can't change the behavior, change the situation

So, they should leave.

coxesorangepippin · 08/12/2024 18:38

It seems to be a combination of neurodiversity and not great parenting, but there must be other factors contributing to this explosion of poor behaviour and general lack of respect. I can totally believe what the OP has described.

^

It's bad parenting, disguised as neurodiversity.

Let's not make it sound more glamorous than what it is.

nfg · 08/12/2024 18:42

Parents need to control their children more. People need to tell these crap parents this isn’t a playground

CheeseyOnionPie · 08/12/2024 18:44

…ugh brats…and then people get all touchy when events or venues are increasingly child free.

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