Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to still be mortified about an embarrassing moment at a friend's house?

78 replies

RealAquaCat · 07/12/2024 20:28

Hi!
About a month ago I got invited to a work colleagues home with some other colleagues for some food and drinks. I was so happy to be invited as I’ve recently moved to a new area and have cliqued well with these colleagues and it’s nice to have made some new friends!
Anyway as we’re chatting, I accidentally swiped my wine glass which was next to me (I was sitting on the floor) - cue the wine glass shattering into a million pieces and wine everywhere 🙈 luckily it was white wine, at least. Some of the food had to be thrown away because of the wine and glass shards, and we all cleaned up together.
I still feel absolutely mortified! It was just a quiet gathering, and I feel like I’ve made an absolute tool of myself and like a drunk mess (I wasn’t even that drunk!)
Of course I apologised a million times and offered to replace the wine glass, and no one has treated me any differently, but it is still haunting me 😩

Is my embarrassing moment really that bad and that embarrassing? When will it stop plaguing my mind?! 😂

OP posts:
SnowDriftFields · 07/12/2024 23:56

I think when something like this happens, we blow it up out of all proportion in our own heads.
You were with people who you perhaps feel don’t really “know you” yet, but you like them and have enjoyed their company and you’re worried about what they think of you and that they’ll judge you for this.
It was a mistake OP and I daresay the only person still thinking about this will be you.
I can empathise, last night I went to a Christmas party, I hadn’t met most of the people there before I went.
I’ve had a really shitty time lately, I didn’t want to go, but I did.
I had THE most amazing time, but at the very end of the evening I got all emotional in the car and cried the whole way home.
I was being comforted by my friend but the driver and other passengers I’d just met last night.
I woke up this morning feeling slightly mortified that I’d become an emotional liability at the end of the night but I had some really lovely messages from some of them, saying how lovely it was to meet me, the driver even said she hopes to be on more nights out with me and mentioned going for a cuppa sometime, and when I said how I felt they all reassured me and told me I had nothing to be sorry about.
You won’t have sabotaged your friendships if everyone is still being the same with you.
Embarrassment is an emotion that’s teamed with shame and guilt - it’s a “self conscious” emotion.
Your embarrassment, and my own, is intensified by the fear that others are judging us - but both of our incidents do not define who we are as people.
We can’t control others thoughts and opinions and everyone will have had an awkward and embarrassing moment at some point in their life.
I’ve worked my way through things today and I forgive myself.
I think you need to forgive yourself too.
Also, you must have loads of positive qualities about you to have been invited to someone’s house in such a relatively short space of time, so focus on those, live your life, and be kind to yourself (also, learning to laugh at yourself and laugh these things off helps too)

Differentstarts · 07/12/2024 23:58

I guarantee you're thinking more about it then them. It's a big deal to you but not to them so I doubt they even thought about it past that moment

Scissor · 08/12/2024 00:03

I have one crystal glass left from my wedding and it's lasted 15 years longer than that marriage did!
Every other glass was smashed/broken in the company of friends and having a great time. Much better than having a cupboard full of unused glasses.
Please don't worry. It's not important.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 08/12/2024 00:08

My toddler threw a random glass that was left poolside into the swimming pool in our resort, but it smashed against the side on the way in dispersing shards all over and the whole place has to be evacuated for the afternoon until staff cleared it all out. Now that was embarrassing.

Selttan · 08/12/2024 00:11

SmudgeButt · 07/12/2024 22:40

Make it into your in joke. Get the host a bottle of wine and matching glass as a Christmas present. And move on.

I'm think this a great idea.

I'm sure the host is not giving it another thought.

weathervane1 · 08/12/2024 00:14

I've done it plenty of times in the pub when surrounded by friends. I tend to talk with my hands in a very animated fashion and unless I'm really paying attention, I'm liable to knock a few pints over. I replace them, we all dry off with blue paper from the bar and we carry on as normal. In the scheme of things, swiping a glass of white wine over doesn't really register on any scale of importance. It happens.

lonelywater · 08/12/2024 00:19

you would be right to feel this way if you had-pissed on the front lawn-snogged the host-left your knickers in a plant pot. `you did none of these so it does not merit a seconds further thought.

theduchessofspork · 08/12/2024 00:19

Who amongst us doesn't shatter wine glasses monthly? No one cares.

However if anyone hears you saying 'cliqued with' IRL you will be friendless and whispered about for ever.

girlofsandwich · 08/12/2024 02:06

Count yourself lucky if that's the height of embarrassing moments that haunt you 😂

GridlockonMain · 08/12/2024 05:04

please free yourself from embarrassment over this! Everyone in the world has done something clumsy and broken something at one point or another. It’s a very normal, human thing and I doubt anyone thought badly of you for it. If they did that’s on them for being weird and unforgiving of normal human foibles.

Goldengirl123 · 08/12/2024 09:49

Stop worrying about if. I am the clumsiest person. It has been one a joke in my circus of friends. I think they would be disappointed if I didn’t do something!!!

TheTwinklyPoster · 08/12/2024 19:00

Do you generally suffer with anxiety?
It's the sort of thing that would plague me, but I do have social anxiety. I can understand why you feel that way, they were new friends and colleagues and you wanted to make a good impression, however I can also see it as an outsider because, it's not MY embarassing situation! I wouldn't think twice about it if someone else did it at my house, or a friends house, and if anything, would feel for the person that did it and was embarrassed and apologetic. They aren't treating you differently, they don't care! Keep telling yourself this and give yourself a break. You will probably laugh about it together in the future

MajorCarolDanvers · 08/12/2024 19:18

The thread title suggests you did something awful. You broke a glass. It happens.

Shabzzz · 08/12/2024 23:06

Just get her a nice new set of glasses and gift them to her. Everyone happy

Snakebite61 · 09/12/2024 00:34

RealAquaCat · 07/12/2024 20:28

Hi!
About a month ago I got invited to a work colleagues home with some other colleagues for some food and drinks. I was so happy to be invited as I’ve recently moved to a new area and have cliqued well with these colleagues and it’s nice to have made some new friends!
Anyway as we’re chatting, I accidentally swiped my wine glass which was next to me (I was sitting on the floor) - cue the wine glass shattering into a million pieces and wine everywhere 🙈 luckily it was white wine, at least. Some of the food had to be thrown away because of the wine and glass shards, and we all cleaned up together.
I still feel absolutely mortified! It was just a quiet gathering, and I feel like I’ve made an absolute tool of myself and like a drunk mess (I wasn’t even that drunk!)
Of course I apologised a million times and offered to replace the wine glass, and no one has treated me any differently, but it is still haunting me 😩

Is my embarrassing moment really that bad and that embarrassing? When will it stop plaguing my mind?! 😂

That's basically nothing at all, a small accident. If you'd lived my life, you'd need therapy.

canyouseemyhousefromhere · 09/12/2024 08:25

Years ago my husband's MD invited us (including our 4 year old son) over for a Christmas drinks evening. They had a beautiful home & an almost completely white/cream colour scheme- sofa, carpet & curtains. DS dropped his blackcurrant juice over & managed to get it everywhere. I felt dreadful. Hostess was lovely & said she thought the splash of colour was an improvement.

LunaNorth · 09/12/2024 08:30

I’ll make you feel better, OP.

I was once at a friend’s house, two couples, four kids. Drink had been taken, and music went on. We were dancing in the kitchen, and I was throwing a few shapes, saw my reflection in the bifolds, thought I looked ok. Having a little party for one, I was.

Then I heard my friend’s husband say, “She’s watching herself in the French windows.” Instant bucket of cold water, cringe city.

At least yours was an accident 😂

Grayson1965 · 09/12/2024 12:26

I took a whole table of glasses with me to the floor omg 😲 but I was so drunk I didn't even remember it so yours was nothing at the side of mine don't worry about it get on with your life lol

Lavender14 · 09/12/2024 12:27

Can't say I'd give it a second thought if someone did that in my house op! Give it a 5 minute funeral and then move on!

TeenLifeMum · 09/12/2024 12:29

Watch this - https://www.facebook.com/share/r/EBh6pXdhjgr6qZPJ/?mibextid=UalRPS

it's amazingly real for me - I’d feel the same with mini flash backs for years. This comedy song is quite therapeutic 😂

Gardenbird123 · 10/12/2024 08:19

You're overthinking. No one else will give it a second thought, except maybe to be glad it wasn't them. I do this too, and to try not to, I think of the things I could have done which would have been much worse....😂

Seapoint2002 · 10/12/2024 08:51

Friend of my parents opened a champagne bottle around the dinner table. Cork flew out and smashed the glass light fitting above the table, showering all the food in glass.

BunnyLake · 10/12/2024 09:55

If only my embarrassing moments (which I can still cringe about decades later) were as inane as a broken wine glass. Yes it can be a bit embarrassing in the moment but that’s all it is (unless it ended up causing thousands of pounds worth of damage).

If no damage was caused I’d have forgotten about it once it was cleared up.

Combattingthemoaners · 10/12/2024 09:58

I wouldn’t even remember it if that happened in my house, these things happen. You’re over thinking it so you need to train your brain to be quiet. I talk to mine - like in the Chimp Paradox.

Swipe left for the next trending thread