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Original poster

To decide that I don’t wish to return

41 replies

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 07/12/2024 19:04

I have made a tough but necessary decision, to not return to work for the final 2 weeks of my notice period. I work in education and I had an incident happen on Thursday and it was so bad I had to pick up my bags and go early. I won’t detail it here as I think it would be too obvious. But I didn’t go in on Friday either because I was left quite upset by the response.

I spend the day talking to friends and discussing options. I really wanted to tell my students I was going but I never had the chance. I wanted to leave it to the last week. Due to the nature of the incident. I’ve decided I’m not feeling up to returning and I feel weird about it but it’s a necessary decision and spoke to my go on Friday morning and obtained a fit note. Am I making a bad choice doing this? The incident wasnt nice ( not really awful but just something no one should need to put up with) what should I do?

OP posts:
romdowa · 07/12/2024 19:05

Go off sick and enjoy your two weeks? That's what I'd do

Original poster
ThePerkyCoralPoet · 07/12/2024 19:06

romdowa · 07/12/2024 19:05

Go off sick and enjoy your two weeks? That's what I'd do

I wanted to tell the kids and never had a chance to do so. that’s all that upsets me.

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 07/12/2024 19:07

If the GP gave you a fit note, you're not able to work the last two weeks of your notice period. That means it is, as you say, necessary.

Original poster
ThePerkyCoralPoet · 07/12/2024 19:07

NeverDropYourMooncup · 07/12/2024 19:07

If the GP gave you a fit note, you're not able to work the last two weeks of your notice period. That means it is, as you say, necessary.

Yeah. I just feel bad for the kids. And I never got to say this to them. I wanted to keep it to the last week.

OP posts:
LittleBobbyDazzler · 07/12/2024 19:12

Is there any way you can email them your goodbyes? I don't know how appropriate it is / if it is a done thing though.

WallaceinAnderland · 07/12/2024 19:15

Write a letter and ask the cover staff to read it to them.

Abi86 · 07/12/2024 19:16

If you don’t protect your own interests, who will? In ten years time, this’ll be irrelevant.

AndSoFinally · 07/12/2024 19:25

Don't worry about it. You'll be an enigma, people will intermittently discuss what may or may not have happened to make you leave, and then you'll be forgotten about til the next time. Every school has a member of staff like this, it may as well be you

(We had one who went to be governess for a famous footballer, allegedly. I suspect really she was having an affair with the head of maths until his wife (head of English) found out and made things very awkward for her)

wildthingsinthenight · 07/12/2024 19:27

You are doing the right thing OP.
Good for you💐

MeganM3 · 07/12/2024 19:27

The kids will be fine. They'll be sorry not to have said goodbye I'm sure but they won't dwell on it. Their lives are busy and they adapt quickly to change. Look after yourself.

Original poster
ThePerkyCoralPoet · 07/12/2024 19:49

MeganM3 · 07/12/2024 19:27

The kids will be fine. They'll be sorry not to have said goodbye I'm sure but they won't dwell on it. Their lives are busy and they adapt quickly to change. Look after yourself.

How can I pass on the message?

OP posts:
Beautifulweeds · 07/12/2024 19:51

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 07/12/2024 19:07

Yeah. I just feel bad for the kids. And I never got to say this to them. I wanted to keep it to the last week.

Show quote history

I completely understand, we care about them and you will want to say goodbye properly. Is there a colleague you could ask to read aloud a message? Probably not these days, sadly, but surely a pastoral leader could pass on a mere sorry, take care, will miss you? Xx

BobLemon · 07/12/2024 20:02

If a pupil was involved in the incident, and it appears that you have left as a result of that, will the child feel guilty? And would benefit from hearing that it was a decision you had already made? I appreciate some kids would bloody delight in the idea they made a teacher quit.

Original poster
ThePerkyCoralPoet · 07/12/2024 20:06

BobLemon · 07/12/2024 20:02

If a pupil was involved in the incident, and it appears that you have left as a result of that, will the child feel guilty? And would benefit from hearing that it was a decision you had already made? I appreciate some kids would bloody delight in the idea they made a teacher quit.

What do you think I should do?

OP posts:
HardlyLikely · 07/12/2024 20:14

BobLemon · 07/12/2024 20:02

If a pupil was involved in the incident, and it appears that you have left as a result of that, will the child feel guilty? And would benefit from hearing that it was a decision you had already made? I appreciate some kids would bloody delight in the idea they made a teacher quit.

That’s nothing to do with the OP, though. She needs to focus on her own welfare.

Thelondonone · 07/12/2024 20:16

I think you should let it go. Someone will tell the kids a beige reason why you went. Just move on.

Original poster
ThePerkyCoralPoet · 07/12/2024 20:20

HardlyLikely · 07/12/2024 20:14

That’s nothing to do with the OP, though. She needs to focus on her own welfare.

Show quote history

the incident wasn’t huge but left me in shock. Some students also witnessed me cry and I’m not up for going back into work after that either.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThePerkyCoralPoet · 07/12/2024 20:20

Thelondonone · 07/12/2024 20:16

I think you should let it go. Someone will tell the kids a beige reason why you went. Just move on.

I know but I’ve taught some for 4 years it was a big deal for me.

OP posts:
Dibbydoos · 07/12/2024 20:22

Can you get access to a parents whatsapp group and message there?

It's a shame, but up need to watch out for you.

StormingNorman · 07/12/2024 20:25

NeverDropYourMooncup · 07/12/2024 19:07

If the GP gave you a fit note, you're not able to work the last two weeks of your notice period. That means it is, as you say, necessary.

Oh please. Anyone can get a footnote for stress or “stress”.

Ginkypig · 07/12/2024 20:27

BobLemon · 07/12/2024 20:02

If a pupil was involved in the incident, and it appears that you have left as a result of that, will the child feel guilty? And would benefit from hearing that it was a decision you had already made? I appreciate some kids would bloody delight in the idea they made a teacher quit.

Do you think all victims of incidents serious enough that an adult has to immediately leave work then be able to get a sick line from the gp should have to go back to face the person’s who caused the incident to assuage their guilt?

BobLemon · 07/12/2024 20:34

Fair enough. Posters are quite right that the OP should be prioritising herself.

mrspresents · 07/12/2024 20:37

Are you primary or secondary?

Plumedenom · 07/12/2024 20:51

I say this to make you feel better and not worse. The kids are not as attached to you as you are to them in most cases. Send them a letter and the teacher will read it out. The kids move on eventually anyway. Try to keep this in proportion, it is more about how poor your mental health is in this shitty job then anything else. You are not orphaning them.

WallaceinAnderland · 07/12/2024 20:54

I don't think this attachment to the children is healthy. They will be fine. You should be focussing on your recuperation OP.