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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have completely lost it on some kids on the street

45 replies

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 07/12/2024 18:37

TLDR- I almost hit an unrestrained dog and yelled at some kids.

I was driving this morning, going about 20mph (school zone) and I observed three kids (two teenagers and one about 9 yo) walking on the pavement with a loose dog running around near them. I assumed it was theirs. The next moment this dog darted out into the road and I had to emergency brake to avoid hitting it. It was so close to going under the wheel of the car.

If I hadn't been going so slowly, and hadn't already been aware of them on the side of the road, I would 100% have hit it. It was extremely close as it was.

I immediately had a flashback to a couple of years ago, when a loose dog got dragged under my tyre and unfortunately I had to watch it die before alerting the owners, which was a very traumatic experience that left me shaken for days. This, combined with the fact that I had just had to emergency brake (jarring my neck, which was now in spasms) left me in a very emotional state. I was shaking.

I parked up outside the school (due to pick up kids from activity) and hopped out of the car. The kids were coming towards me and now I doubted whether the dog was actually theirs- when I had braked, I had honked my horn and gestured 'what are you doing??' at them, while the dog continued to run across the road towards some pedestrians on the other side. They seemed completely unconcerned and had made no attempt to recall the dog.

I approached them, intending to apologize for honking and gesturing if the dog was not in fact theirs, but wanting to address them if it were, as their nonchalance was infuriating and I wanted to impress upon them how close I came to killing or seriously injuring the dog.

I hurried towards them and called out, 'Is that your dog, or is it just following you?'

'No, it's our dog,' the oldest of them replied casually.

That's when I lost my temper. I shouted.

'Do you realize I almost hit your dog!?'

'Yeah, sorry.'

'Well, it's not acceptable to have your dog running around like this! You need to have him on a lead!'

No response other than muttering and a shrug. I was getting more furious.

'You seem completely unconcerned that I almost turned your dog into a pancake!'

'Well, maybe cause it's not mine or hers, it's his,' he gestures towards the youngest child.

'I don't care! You are responsible for the dog and you need to have it under control! Have you ever seen a dog get hit?! I can tell you it's not a pretty sight!'

I then turned and stormed off.

I wonder if I was unreasonable for shouting at these kids. I just wanted them to understand how dangerous it was, so they would hopefully restrain the dog and avoid it being inevitably hit. But I feel that I was unduly emotional because I flashed back to the other dog I hit. I felt the wheel go over it's body, watched it going through death spasms with it's back half paralyzed and I had to stand by while the owners wailed and cried over the dead dog, then I had to help lug the dog's huge body off the road. Other details about how the dog looked I don't care to recall.

But I'm feeling guilty for absolutely losing it on these kids. I can't even remember the last time I've lost my temper on someone like that, so I feel quite surprised at myself and shaken up.

Was I unreasonable?

OP posts:
FancyAReallyLongUsernameJustForAChange · 07/12/2024 18:39

YANBU.

wastingtimeonhere · 07/12/2024 18:40

Totally not unreasonable..I would have gone apeshit too.

44PumpLane · 07/12/2024 18:41

Honestly, if it makes them think, even for half a second, about actually putting their dog on a lead then you may have saved that dogs life.

I'm so sorry you had to go through what you did, I imagine it was incredibly traumatic.

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 07/12/2024 18:46

@44PumpLane

Thank you. I just was worried because I shouted at children in the street. I wasn't sure whether I was justified in doing so.

OP posts:
Tess150 · 07/12/2024 18:46

VVVVVVV reasonable.

Tristar15 · 07/12/2024 18:49

Totally fine reaction. Don’t worry that it wasn’t.

ScorpioRising83 · 07/12/2024 18:58

It's not just the dog at risk. If a driver brakes suddenly to avoid a dog it could cause a rear shunt if the driver behind doesn't react fast enough. If a driver swerves to avoid a dog, they could hit a pedestrian or cause a head in collision.

needsomewarmsunshine · 07/12/2024 19:00

I would have yelled at them too.

AngryLikeHades · 07/12/2024 19:03

They should have a given a shit about you and the dog even if they didn't have full control of the dog.
Kids can be monumentally thoughtless and stupid at times and their attitude would have infuriated me also.

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 07/12/2024 19:05

@ScorpioRising83
You are so right. Thankfully it was a quiet road. I wanted to tell them all those things, but I just wanted the main message to sink in and I was too angry to think rationally

OP posts:
HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 07/12/2024 19:06

@AngryLikeHades

Yes, I think that's what made me extremely angry... If it had been a lapse in attention and they apologize profusely, I wouldn't have been so mad

OP posts:
C152 · 07/12/2024 19:10

YANBU, but I think it would have had more impact if you'd reported it to their school.

Ablondiebutagoody · 07/12/2024 19:15

Shouldn't have braked. That'd learn em

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 07/12/2024 19:16

@C152

I'm not really sure who they were... There is only one school in town that they could belong to though.

OP posts:
HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 07/12/2024 19:16

@Ablondiebutagoody

I don't know if that's some attempt at edgy humour but killing one dog with my car is enough for me.

OP posts:
Ablondiebutagoody · 07/12/2024 19:19

Not edgy humour. I just don't think it's for drivers to be dodging out of control animals. Emergency stops aren't without risk and I'm not convinced that a dog/cat/fox/crow is worth it.

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 07/12/2024 19:21

@Ablondiebutagoody
I see what you're saying, but I didn't have much time to react. I moved mostly on instinct. I also was aware that there were no cars behind me.

But yes, I do agree that it is not worth risking an accident for an animal unfortunately

OP posts:
Shakeyourbaublesandsmile · 07/12/2024 19:26

Being triggered can lead to trauma response that are both powerfull and overwhelming

be kind to yourself

aside they need to learn it could have been worse with a bigger accident occurring involving cars and pedestrians

ScorpioRising83 · 07/12/2024 19:26

Ablondiebutagoody · 07/12/2024 19:19

Not edgy humour. I just don't think it's for drivers to be dodging out of control animals. Emergency stops aren't without risk and I'm not convinced that a dog/cat/fox/crow is worth it.

Honestly I think most people would instinctively try to avoid it. It's a bit cold to plough into them if you know you're the only vehicle present.

I hit a low flying pigeon while driving a van recently. I felt sick for days.

hattie43 · 07/12/2024 19:26

Half these awful kids need putting down these days , no responsibility over anything . A generation of morons.

teatoast8 · 07/12/2024 19:27

YANBU

ScorpioRising83 · 07/12/2024 19:28

This thread is getting silly. Sorry, OP.

I would still inform the school. They may not able to identify the children but they might bring it up in assembly.

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 07/12/2024 19:28

It might seem a bit silly that I'm asking if I'm unreasonable about this... The town I live in frequently has loose dogs running around and this isn't the first time I've come close to hitting one. Although this is the closest call I've had in a while... It's totally normal here for dogs to be unrestrained so I think I was worried that I was being unproportional.

OP posts:
ScorpioRising83 · 07/12/2024 19:29

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 07/12/2024 19:28

It might seem a bit silly that I'm asking if I'm unreasonable about this... The town I live in frequently has loose dogs running around and this isn't the first time I've come close to hitting one. Although this is the closest call I've had in a while... It's totally normal here for dogs to be unrestrained so I think I was worried that I was being unproportional.

I didn't mean you being silly, the PP talking about putting kids down.

Have you a local community Facebook group you could tell the story on? Might make dog owners a bit more careful if you pointed out you almost squished one

ElatedShark · 07/12/2024 19:32

What vile thugs. They really didn't care if the dog was injured/killed because it belonged to the youngest. That poor dog