To ask if you could honestly do this ?

[ChicRaven]

If your partner left you, would you be able to move away and live alone, financially supporting yourself? This isn't based on what you would get out of a divorce because in this scenario you wouldn't have that security.

Absolutely. I've built up a professional career rather than a job so earn good money. I've never wanted to feel vulnerable and reliant on a man.

Yes. I learnt early on to have a running away fund and I earn well.
Plus the house is mine.

I could now but when my kids were young I’d have struggled to pay for housing and childcare/holiday camp out of my salary alone, and I was on a pretty good salary. (The way the question is phrased I’m assuming those would all be my costs to bear.)

I did it three times so yes I could do it again.

When DH died I lost the house but was able to buy something smaller. I’ll never be financially dependent on anyone again.

Two questions there.

Could I do it? Yes. Would I do it? Yes if I had to and I would do my best to make it work but I wouldnt be happy about it.

I left ExH when the DC were 5 and 6. I only took clothes, so we had to do without a fridge or washing machine etc. for a while because I had to buy beds first! I won’t lie, it wasn’t easy. Sometimes the responsibility felt terrifying, but we got through it. I guess I could do it again if I had to.

Yup. It would be a completely different lifestyle to the one I had now, but easily. If I went back to work FT, as opposed to occasional consulting, I’d be earning (very) early six figures. And I only have one DC. I also have an extremely supportive family. I’d be fine. Sad, though - as DH is wonderful.

If this is something you need to do, I’m very sorry and I hope you have the means and support that you need.

I personally could. I earn more than DP, and we rent rather than own, so it wouldn't be a massive drop on circumstances. I would have to make sacrifices and it would cost me savings. I wouldn't be able to afford holidays, and I'd feel more financial pressure. But yes, I could afford to rent somewhere for DC and I, and I could afford clothes, food, Christmases by myself.

@ChicRaven why do you ask?

Hell YES!

Even though we had joint/pooled finances when I wanted out I literally opened a bank account and bought his share of the the property.

We had 2 children both which stayed with me. I received very little child support over the years, all of which was documented.

He squandered the monies from the settlement, moved back into his mother's within the first year and started dating the girlfriend before me. That was almost 20 years ago and he is still at his mother's.

Our two have grown up and had children of their own and there is a little resentment that they now know the cost of bring up children and that their father didn't contribute. I have a relationship with my children, he barely does.

Yes, and did. But I kept my career going, albeit part time so took a hit on progression, and it was really tough for the first 5 years. This was after a 30 year relationship.

Yes and did. Would be in better position if I needed to do that again as am in a better career...it would be DH who would have a struggle.

I did do it...I am doing it. You can achieve way more than you think. I also work in the NHS in an average job. I left with nothing.

Yes of course. Anyone who puts themselves in a position where they couldn't is naive in the extreme.

Yes. I am doing it. I have raised my children alone since they were tiny. We live in a 4 bedroom house, I pay for nannies when I'm working. We have holidays, they have extra-curricular activities and everything they need and that their friends have. The divorce cost me a lot of my assets but was worth every penny.

It's tiring of course but it's perfectly possible. Thousands of us do it! Saving in the hope of early retirement and some rest!