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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I accidentally made old lady walk in rain on crutches- advice?

65 replies

Orangejumper222 · 06/12/2024 19:36

Hi! Need some opinions / advice on what to do next, if anything.

6 months ago I moved to a lovely house in a friendly area, me and my daughter love living here. All neighbours have been so kind and friendly.
Approx 6pm tonight, me and DD age 4 were waiting outside for her dad to pick her up (she stays at his weekends). She was excited and wanted to wait outside. Outside ours is a very quiet, hardly used lane that only allows 1 car driving down it at a time. It can be accessed from both ends of the lane and you can drive in both directions but if you met an oncoming car one of you would have to reverse which would be very tricky as it’s very narrow. We always wait outside at this time every Friday, never had a problem before.
Her dad drove down the lane as normal and stopped in front of ours to pick her up. I noticed another car was about to start coming down the opposite end of the lane, but then reversed and as far as I knew, drove away. I said to DDs dad is a car coming down, he said no it’s gone. Approx 3 minutes for him to get DD in car, they were being a little slow getting her coat off etc. During all of this it’s pouring with rain and very dark. Suddenly this random older woman appears on foot and shouts at DDs dad “You can’t just park there!” He said “I’m not parking.” and I was like “Eh? What’s the matter?” and she shouts over again not to park there. I shout back he’s picking up my daughter. I realise she must be something to do with the car that had attempted to come down and I say “We’ve moved several times for you today already” as I thought I recognised the car as one me and my daughter moved out the lane (on foot) as it was trying to come down the lane about 5 mins before and earlier on in the day too (realise it might or might not be the same people now, I’m a bit confused who lives there and who drops them off). This car (if it’s the same one) drops someone off at a nearby house and the driver normally thanks us when we stand aside etc, very friendly, polite.
So DDs dad gets her in the car and gets ready to drive off. Then suddenly this second oldish lady starts hobbling down the lane on crutches in the pouring rain. I guess they must have been waiting round the corner in a car for us to move but gave up as they thought we were taking too long / parking. It did look bad tbh seeing her hobbling along like that. DD and her dad drove off and the crutch lady gave him an annoyed look. At the time I was really confused as to what the actual problem was but I guess they must have been waiting around the corner out of sight. It just totally got my back up, the first lady shouting at DDs dad like that out of nowhere (seemed like that at the time). I know it’s just a silly misunderstanding but I feel really upset because everyone here has been SO lovely so far. Should I try to talk to crutch lady again if I see her? Should I apologise or am I owed an apology? Of course if we had been asked politely/ explained etc to move for the crutch lady we would done so straight away. Thanks!

OP posts:
Uytfy · 06/12/2024 19:40

Not your problem.

She was impatient and could have waited a few minutes and not got wet.

You weren't even aware of this happening until after so why do you feel bad?

Littletreefrog · 06/12/2024 19:43

Sounds like a fuss over nothing so I wouldn't bother saying anything more. But if the lane is that narrow and inconvenient and you wait outside for DDs dad could you not walk up the lane a bit and wait somewhere where him pulling up and getting her in the car doesn't get in anyone's way.

DoreenonTill8 · 06/12/2024 19:45

Why couldn't she wait in her house then the people picking her up could call/message when outside?

Oddsquadnumber1 · 06/12/2024 19:46

Meh, a complete non problem they've created by being dramatic. I wouldn't give it more thought tbh

Orangejumper222 · 06/12/2024 19:47

Uytfy · 06/12/2024 19:40

Not your problem.

She was impatient and could have waited a few minutes and not got wet.

You weren't even aware of this happening until after so why do you feel bad?

Thank you. It just felt like we were evil making this poor lady stumble along in the rain and dark 😂 it took her ages to get to her front door but nothing we could do by then as she’d made the decision to walk. We just love living here so much and everyone’s so nice. I’ve seen the crutch lady before and she’s smiled at me. Was unexpected

OP posts:
Orangejumper222 · 06/12/2024 19:49

Littletreefrog · 06/12/2024 19:43

Sounds like a fuss over nothing so I wouldn't bother saying anything more. But if the lane is that narrow and inconvenient and you wait outside for DDs dad could you not walk up the lane a bit and wait somewhere where him pulling up and getting her in the car doesn't get in anyone's way.

Thank you, that is true but it would mean he would have to stop on a busier main road and there’s not always spaces. Lane is normally very quiet, was just inconvenient timing tonight

OP posts:
ChaosHol1 · 06/12/2024 19:51

You literally live there he's as entitled to come down to pick a child up who lives there as they are to drive down for the woman on crutches who lives there.

Orangejumper222 · 06/12/2024 19:52

DoreenonTill8 · 06/12/2024 19:45

Why couldn't she wait in her house then the people picking her up could call/message when outside?

She was coming back from somewhere, being dropped off in her friends car or possibly a taxi.

OP posts:
DanielaDressen · 06/12/2024 19:57

I would maybe go and see crutch lady and explain that you would never park there or allow a visitor to park there. That if they ever see a car outside yours again it is either picking someone up or dropping them off and will only be a few minutes.

Jingleballs2 · 06/12/2024 19:59

Surely you're both doing the same thing? Dropping off/picking up someone.. therefore you're not doing anything wrong if they're doing the same!

sunsmiles · 06/12/2024 20:02

It's a storm in teacup and not worth giving much thought to, but I can see it from their side. Car doors open, he's out of his car and faffing about for 3 minutes (totally normal timeframe to get kids in the car) he has parked and blocked the road - it's not like he did a drive by drop-off or jump-in that takes seconds. So she was right to say 'you can't park there'.

Out of interest, how do you have furniture delivered?

sprigatito · 06/12/2024 20:07

If the first woman had explained the situation instead of shouting like a lunatic, maybe some sort of compromise could have been found. Crutch lady should blame her, not you.

needsomewarmsunshine · 06/12/2024 20:08

The moaners could have waited in the dry in their car. On crutches walking in the rain to complain how bloody stupid. I've got no time for idiots.
I wouldn't be looking out for either of them to apologise to.

needsomewarmsunshine · 06/12/2024 20:09

Meant to add, OP you didn't make anyone walk in the rain on crutches, it was her choice.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 06/12/2024 20:12

@Orangejumper222 so its alright for her to pick up and drop off but its not alright for your ex to pick up and drop off?? thats sounds a bit unfair to me!

Orangejumper222 · 06/12/2024 20:19

sunsmiles · 06/12/2024 20:02

It's a storm in teacup and not worth giving much thought to, but I can see it from their side. Car doors open, he's out of his car and faffing about for 3 minutes (totally normal timeframe to get kids in the car) he has parked and blocked the road - it's not like he did a drive by drop-off or jump-in that takes seconds. So she was right to say 'you can't park there'.

Out of interest, how do you have furniture delivered?

Haha quite difficultly!
I actually have my own very tight parking space accessed off the lane, which is very hard to park in (took me a while to master it!) Technically I could move my car on a Friday for DDs dads van to park in and collect her but there’s not much space for me to park on the nearby busier road and it’s simply never been a problem before. I think crutch lady also has a space but another car (her car?) was parked in it at the time.
I got a fridge delivered recently, there’s no way they could have fit into my parking space so they had to find a space on the road and wheel it round.

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 06/12/2024 20:21

Hmm. IMO, the polite response to “you can’t park there” would have been “sorry, we’ll only be a minute”, not “we’ve moved several times for you today already”. That seems very combative to me.

Pluvia · 06/12/2024 20:22

I think it's a shame it ended how it did, OP, and I'd feel like a shit too. Not easy walking on crutches at the best of time, but in the cold and rain...

I'd go and see her tomorrow and take a token gift. Clearly she's had some kind of accident or surgery. I'd apologise for the misunderstanding and say if I'd realised it was her and that she was on crutches I'd have made him move off quickly. I think I'd be feeling really stressed if I was trying to drive an injured friend to their front door, only to find a car blocking my way with no apparent intention of moving off.

Orangejumper222 · 06/12/2024 20:22

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 06/12/2024 20:12

@Orangejumper222 so its alright for her to pick up and drop off but its not alright for your ex to pick up and drop off?? thats sounds a bit unfair to me!

Thank you, I guess they thought he was parking or going to be there too long. As it was raining and dark I’m not sure they saw him getting DD in, just a van stationary with its lights on.

OP posts:
Funnywonder · 06/12/2024 20:25

DanielaDressen · 06/12/2024 19:57

I would maybe go and see crutch lady and explain that you would never park there or allow a visitor to park there. That if they ever see a car outside yours again it is either picking someone up or dropping them off and will only be a few minutes.

I agree with this. For the sake of neighbourly harmony. It was a misunderstanding on their part and is easily rectified.

Orangejumper222 · 06/12/2024 20:25

HeddaGarbled · 06/12/2024 20:21

Hmm. IMO, the polite response to “you can’t park there” would have been “sorry, we’ll only be a minute”, not “we’ve moved several times for you today already”. That seems very combative to me.

Yes I know 🙈 not my best response 😂 it was just so unexpected, I didn’t even notice her there until I heard her shout

OP posts:
Orangejumper222 · 06/12/2024 20:30

Pluvia · 06/12/2024 20:22

I think it's a shame it ended how it did, OP, and I'd feel like a shit too. Not easy walking on crutches at the best of time, but in the cold and rain...

I'd go and see her tomorrow and take a token gift. Clearly she's had some kind of accident or surgery. I'd apologise for the misunderstanding and say if I'd realised it was her and that she was on crutches I'd have made him move off quickly. I think I'd be feeling really stressed if I was trying to drive an injured friend to their front door, only to find a car blocking my way with no apparent intention of moving off.

Thank you. I’m not sure if this makes any difference but he wasn’t actually blocking her house which is further down the lane but if the car dropping her off had carried on the two cars would have eventually met in the middle and one would have had to reverse, hence I guess why they made the decision to hang back

OP posts:
Orangejumper222 · 06/12/2024 20:34

sprigatito · 06/12/2024 20:07

If the first woman had explained the situation instead of shouting like a lunatic, maybe some sort of compromise could have been found. Crutch lady should blame her, not you.

Thank you, the visibility isn’t great because it’s narrow, was dark and rainy so it was unclear what the problem was initially. Of course we’d have moved if we’d known. He was moving anyway, just taking a while.

OP posts:
Trumptonagain · 06/12/2024 20:35

Where did they end up parking?

allthatfalafel · 06/12/2024 20:35

If your 4 year old is going to be outside in the cold, dark and rain anyway, can you not just walk her down the road to a more suitable place for pick up?