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Original poster

DH weed habit

55 replies

Anxiiousaf · 06/12/2024 17:27

DH smokes weed daily. It has went from the odd one with his friends to all day long in the last 10 years. He will drive and work after smoking then complains about not getting promoted. Complains he has no money for things but spends 100s a month on this I'm sure . I've been reading old posts and naively didn't realise how big an issue it is. I am sick of thinking I smell of weed or worrying my clothes do, I have to wash my hair at the work showers every morning so I can go in feeling clean. Asked him to cut down, not to do it in the house etc but it doesn't change. I think he has mood swings due to this habit/addiction whatever you want to call it. WWYD.

OP posts:
Thelittleweasel · 06/12/2024 18:19

@rewilded

I was in a huge hospital today and people [possibly patients] were smoking cannabis openly outside on the street

Thelittleweasel · 06/12/2024 18:21

In view of the fact that he drives drugged would you give any consideration to talking to the police? i assume you are in UK?

@Anxiiousaf

romdowa · 06/12/2024 18:21

I'd be gone. No way could I stick the stink of it ! Not to mention the hassle of living with an addict.

mamajong · 06/12/2024 18:36

Does he admit he has a problem? If he does and is willing to seek help then offer to support him in cutting down (at first) and then stopping. He must stop driving after smoking too. Think about your boundaries and present a deadline after which you will leave. It sounds like he is addicted but if he doesn't recognise it and won't seek the help he needs there is nothing else you can do

Munchyseeds2 · 06/12/2024 18:41

What would I do??
LEAVE without a backward glance

Discodance1988 · 06/12/2024 18:43

My DP is like this but doesn't drive once he's had a joint. He also smokes it outside. Never in the house. He spends a fair sized chunk of his money on weed and then gets depressed afterwards about it....

I'm sure people don't realise that you can have weed legally here in the UK, Prescribed by a doctor and then legally you can smoke it wherever you want and all you have to do is flash your medical card and there's nothing you can do about it.

OP you won't ever get him to quit it if he doesn't want to but you can instill boundaries. No smoking in the house, no driving when high etc

I'm an ex weed smoker, I don't smoke it at all anymore but I really don't care that my DP smokes it. It calms him down, helps him sleep, and makes him eat. He does use it as a medicine, and he is eligible for the medical cannabis as well (as am I but I don't smoke it anymore) so that's something he's looking into.

I will mention though to OP getting the smell of weed out of your house is no easy task, your house will need completely redecorating and new flooring and you'll have to hot wash all soft furnishings to get rid of the ingrained smell but it's pointless doing any of that until you get him to smoke it outside (regardless of the weather, my DP will smoke it outside in a downpour/heavy snow/blistering heat etc etc)

Jagoda · 06/12/2024 18:44

Do you have children?

colesr · 06/12/2024 18:45

WWYD

I would divorce him, I have no interest in drug users.

Vaxtable · 06/12/2024 18:46

He’s a drug addict. Sorry but it’s a dealbreaker for me so I would be leaving

IfYouLook · 06/12/2024 18:48

Discodance1988 · 06/12/2024 18:43

My DP is like this but doesn't drive once he's had a joint. He also smokes it outside. Never in the house. He spends a fair sized chunk of his money on weed and then gets depressed afterwards about it....

I'm sure people don't realise that you can have weed legally here in the UK, Prescribed by a doctor and then legally you can smoke it wherever you want and all you have to do is flash your medical card and there's nothing you can do about it.

OP you won't ever get him to quit it if he doesn't want to but you can instill boundaries. No smoking in the house, no driving when high etc

I'm an ex weed smoker, I don't smoke it at all anymore but I really don't care that my DP smokes it. It calms him down, helps him sleep, and makes him eat. He does use it as a medicine, and he is eligible for the medical cannabis as well (as am I but I don't smoke it anymore) so that's something he's looking into.

I will mention though to OP getting the smell of weed out of your house is no easy task, your house will need completely redecorating and new flooring and you'll have to hot wash all soft furnishings to get rid of the ingrained smell but it's pointless doing any of that until you get him to smoke it outside (regardless of the weather, my DP will smoke it outside in a downpour/heavy snow/blistering heat etc etc)

Do you have any close neighbours? How utterly grim to have someone close by smoking weed continuously if you do. Gross.

Chocolately · 06/12/2024 18:48

I'd divorce him, I couldn't live that life.

Discodance1988 · 06/12/2024 18:58

IfYouLook · 06/12/2024 18:48

Do you have any close neighbours? How utterly grim to have someone close by smoking weed continuously if you do. Gross.

Edited
Show quote history

My neighbours are alcoholics and have regular piss ups in their gardens/houses throughout summer and then have the audacity to moan at me about my DP smoking weed (only in summer) but simultaneously will have these parties and their guests will be smoking weed on the driveways/gardens for most of the day, whereas my DP smokes it in the evenings (after 8pm) only and that's after he's been to work and done everything he wants to do for the day. So your comment about continously smoking weed isn't relevant because it isn't in 'daylight hours' he has 2 or 3 joints a night and that's it.

So no I don't care what my neighbours think.

MintTwirl · 06/12/2024 19:01

I can’t believe women actually stay with wasters like this. It’s grim and I really hope that there are no dc involved.

Regalrosie · 06/12/2024 19:28

I'm sure people don't realise that you can have weed legally here in the UK, Prescribed by a doctor and then legally you can smoke it wherever you want and all you have to do is flash your medical card and there's nothing you can do about it

@Discodance1988 Not according to the NHS website, where medical cannabis is only prescribed for a handful of conditions and certainly not in the form that you can smoke it.

Nothanks17 · 06/12/2024 19:49

Its an addiction but be prepared for him possibly to never give it up.

ohyesido · 06/12/2024 19:53

Leave, it's a drug addiction like any other and it will get worse. You will find your belongings disappear gradually to the point where you have to lock them away

Theuniversalshere1 · 06/12/2024 20:01

Do you have children op? What does he do for work?

Having to shower at work is a thing to note, why are you tolerating this? Poor op. I feel for you. But you have a choice here.

colesr · 06/12/2024 21:08

@Discodance1988

I'm sure people don't realise that you can have weed legally here in the UK, Prescribed by a doctor and then legally you can smoke it wherever you want and all you have to do is flash your medical card and there's nothing you can do about it.

People 'don't realise' that because it's not true

TwinklyAmberOrca · 06/12/2024 21:11

@Anxiiousaf he is married to his weed, not you.

A relationship with a weed addict is pointless.

I would not even contemplate a relationship with someone who thinks it's OK to smoke weed then drive.

Tell him it's you or the week - I bet he chooses the weed!

sometimesmovingforwards · 06/12/2024 21:23

@Anxiiousaf oh no, that sounds like such a low quality DH.
Seriously, were you desperate and he was he like the last one at the shop on Christmas Eve type thing?
If he’s the best you can get, I’ll guess you’ll just have to accept your life.

If you think you could do better than this one though, I’d divorce and strive for a better future.

A DH smoking weed in the house… jeez… not for me I’m afraid, not by a long shot.
I’d rather be happily single than have that!

nutbrownhare15 · 06/12/2024 21:35

I'd tell him that if he doesn't stop I want a divorce. And mean it.

QueenBitch666 · 06/12/2024 22:44

Get rid. He's a drug addled scrote

24CRZZNKKA · 06/12/2024 22:44

No matter how many showers/hair washes etc you have you will still smell of it. Especially as he smokes it in the house. It will be ingrained in you and in your house. Everyone will smell it merely walking past your house.

If you can't even get him to smoke it outside then you won't be able to get him to cut down/stop.

Sorry OP, but it would be over for me if I was you

QueenBitch666 · 06/12/2024 22:45

Ps. Can't believe you've asked this. It's fking obvious

SallyWD · 07/12/2024 06:41

I had a very close relative who smoked weed all day long. It ruined them. They just became so lethargic, no drive, horrible moods and paranoia. They did eventually give up in old age (after many decades of smoking it) and they became a much nicer and easier person.
I could never be with a partner who smoked weed every day.