Work very critical of DH, but did not know he has ASD - discriminatory?

[WhatNext321]

My DH has just had his appraisal at work. He has ASD, though his work doesn't know, as the diagnosis was only formally made in the last few years and at the time DH didn't feel the need to disclose this. His appraisal details what they perceive as his shortfalls in performance in relation to his communication and social interactions. It was all done in a very personal, and in my opinion, harsh, manner. E.g, many examples of "colleague A says this about you" and "colleague B says that about you".

If DH informs work about his diagnosis, can what was written in his appraisal be seen as discriminatory? The tone of the appraisal was very much "we have great concerns regarding your communication, if it doesn't improve, you'll lose your job", but was not explicitly said.

Any thoughts about what DH can do? DH is extremely worried about his job security and is very stressed out. He already works very long hours, seven days a week, most weeks.

That said, the OP’s husband is clearly not getting enough support from work. It is such a horrible way to find out people are struggling with his communication and I really do feel for him. It may not be discrimination but it’s not a respectful, productive way to treat someone.

None of us know what the OP's dh does for his job, and how important soft skills and communication skills are in that role.

You say "it is a horrible way to find out people are struggling with his communication" but it is more than feasible this has been raised previously, probably more subtly, and he hasn't picked up on the hints and gentler remarks, and the body language and tone. It is perfectly reasonable to assume this isn't the first time this has been raised, but that it might be the first time the OP's dh has understood that people are offended by the way he communicates.
Also, he might have had it raised before and not communicated that to the OP.

I think for colleague to raise it with management, we can assume the poor communication level is quite significant, otherwise people would probably just roll their eyes and say 'Mr321' is at it again.

That's not true. You do not have to disclose anything you don't want to, but equally your employer can't take into account a diagnosis they don't know about in terms of making reasonable adjustments and accommodations.

It’s nice that you genuinely want to help. But your advice was wrong and based on assumptions. Which in the long run isn’t helpful.

Isn't he closing the stable door after the horse has bolted?

And given the OP was, not so long by ago, planning to instigate divorce proceedings due to the husband’s (then undiagnosed) autism, it’s a bit much to be bleating unfairness over colleagues struggling with some of them as well.

I luffs all the unsaid things on threads, thanks for that point ItTook9Yrs.

Am also realising his 7d/week work is probably secret from the employers, too.

Is it law? Lawyers notoriously can work 70 hr weeks.

Firstly the 48 hours averages over 17 weeks, secondly anyone can sign to opt out, thirdly it needs to be tracked on timesheets for an employer to identify the problem.

Sometimes people think there is an issue because they are choosing to do a few hours work at the weekend; once lunchbreaks and other gaps are taken into account it turns out to be fewer hours than they think.

Good points.