Is £100 a week spending enough?

[shouldntbeonhereagain]

Genuine question as I feel like it should easily be. To be clear, this is for my own personal spending so clothes, toiletries, travel, socialising, presents, hair cuts etc. Also, wine as we don't include that on house keeping. Increasingly feels like it doesn't touch the sides. What am I doing wrong?

OP already said DH and her get the same amount to spend

OK, my personal.spends per month are:

Hair £75
Coffees £30
Parking: £30
Cosmetics/skincare: £40
Clothes/shoes/bags: £120 (averageish)
Drinks/dinner with the girls: £80
Uber: £50
Cards and the odd gift through the year £30
Vitamins: £20
Magazine/book/£10

That's a rough tally and not accounting for: petrol, car tax and insurance, servicing, Christmas. I don't have to scrimp but neither am I the last of the big spenders.

I have a lot more spending money and only spend £100 per week of it and I find it plenty.

Last year I switched to McDonald’s or Greggs for coffees out unless it’s my fortnightly social coffee out with my friend. I have a cineworld card so can always have a night out either really cheaply or I spend nothing.

I eat out without my DH about once a fortnight and always use some sort of discount code apart from in December when there aren’t really any offers on.

I buy clothes every week, get a wash cut and blow dry every 7 weeks (£33 plus £5 tip. I colour my own hair and do my own eyebrows and occasionally nails. I spend about £800 per year on Botox and fillers and little on makeup.

Travel is only about £5.

Yes but her's does seem to need to cover much wider range and seems very inflexible.

She's been quite clear it's for personal spending only. If it covers a wider range that's her choice to spend it on those things.

I'm finding it slightly ironic that OP and her DH are doing the very thing that is always suggested on family finance threads - having equal money for personal spending - and some people are still suggesting that her DH is the issue.

OP already said DH and her get the same amount to spend

Yes but why are grown adults being given pocket money? I couldn't bear to share an account with someone and have them monitoring what I spend. By all means have a shared account that you both pay into for family expenses, but aside from that it's better to manage your own finances.

Even my grandparents who were married for decades had their own bank accounts

I can't answer for OP, but DH and I have equal personal spends which is transferred to our personal bank accounts, and everything else is joint.

We do this precisely because we don't want each other to be monitoring what each other spends. otherwise I'd disapprove of most of the stuff DH gets

Well for the exact reason you have said - so that each adult, can spend on whatever they please, without the other one raising an eyebrow each time.

When we were young and skint, and I was balancing the account to the penny (literally) every month, seeing dh had bought something that I thought was a waste, really grated, when we were trying to skim a £1 or 2 off other bills. No doubt he felt the same about something I might thing I needed, but he didn't. So we decided to give ourselves equal amounts of "personal spending money" each month and neither could question what the other one used it for. We've then continued that as our budget is more relaxed.

If you are on a tight budget, nobody can 'just spend' on whatever they want, unless it has been accounted for.

They are managing their own finances, though?

They each have £400 a month to spend on whatever they like - that's the point of the thread

It was the 'travel to see family and friends' that raised a red flag to me. Seems on the controlling side

It doesn’t sound controlling to me. My DH’s friends live over one hundred miles away so he uses his personal money to get there a stay in a hotel for the night rather than it coming from joint money.

What's controlling about it?

DH's dad lives round the corner, my parents are 40 miles away. When I go and visit, I pay for any costs. They're my parents, not his

Is it overall £400 a month? Because on a five weekly pay month your actually on much less which is probably not helping your calculations.

I think it' s a massive amount.

If that is just for your own personal 'treats' it's huge.

I am fortunate in that we're both semi retired , have a comfortable income and I'm not counting the pennies.

I don't work on a weekly budget anyway- it's more monthly or annually.

Basically you're spending £400 a month (or £500 on a 5 week month) so around £5K a year on clothes, hair, skin care, presents and fares.

Sounds a lot to me.

I am not sure it's a ridiculous argument though. For one thing, consider the 'pink premium' on many products. Admittedly, you don't have to use hair conditioner, or body moisturiser (or buy bras for that matter!) You don't have to wear flattering /appropriate clothing.But, for most people, it is not out of the question to conform to/ accept certain social expectations for female self care and presentation. This does mean more money needing to be spent by most women than most men. I am not talking about beauty treatments;I mean a basic face cream, sanitary towels, tights, different styles of shoe etc.

@shouldntbeonhereagain I must beg to differ. I like nice make-up and perfume and that's my choice. I could spend a third on L'Oréal rather than Estee but I don't. DH spends more than me on shoes and clothes. Day to day I'm happy with Clarkes/Gabor - he has Church's. He also buys his lunch every day and has a much greater coffee habit than me. Plus his fucking car and golf club, etc. Don't start me on the books and sheet music. I reckon his spends come to far more than mine.

@MissLeToe well I spend that, possibly a bit more. You seem to be suggesting that's a problem. Why?

But the extra that women 'have' to spend vs men is negligible within the context of a £100 pw personal spending budget. If that's your argument it would need to be offset by the outdated expectation that men pay for dinner, drinks etc.

Plus if we're talking about things like 'a basic face cream, sanitary towels, tights, different styles of shoe etc' well men need more shaving equipment and might also buy moisturiser. Also if you have fewer pairs of shoes they wear out quicker so need replacing more often so the necessary cost is determined by how far you walk not how many pairs of shoes you have.

The amount you need to spend on these items is small anyway in the context of £100 pw personal spending. If you buy things that are more expensive than standard supermarket/Superdrug items, that's a choice rather than a necessity. Plus moisturiser lasts months. I probably buy 2 or 3 pots a year that cost about £5 a time.

Another poster has listed their spends and said she doesn't think its 'big spending' but to me the amounts look huge. I've put what I spend in brackets as a comparison.

^OK, my personal.spends per month are:
Hair £75 (£20)
Coffees £30 (£10)
Parking: £30 (£5)
Cosmetics/skincare: £40 (< £5)
Clothes/shoes/bags: £120 (averageish) (£50)
Drinks/dinner with the girls: £80 (£50)
Uber: £50 (£5 averageish)
Cards and the odd gift through the year £30 (£10)
Vitamins: £20 (< £5)
Magazine/book/£10 (£10)^

I have an Art Pass that costs about £7 pm and probably spend £50 on petrol to visit sculpture parks, museums, coast, countryside pm.

But in any case, it boils down to the amount being affordable, sensible prioritisation of your budget and equality within a relationship.

It's when your personal spending impacts the amount available for essentials like housing, bills, groceries, savings for annual and irregular expenses, emergency fund, pension or joint costs that, while aren't essential, are 'nice to haves' like holidays, family days out, Christmas presents, nicer food and decorations or your partner's personal spending money that it's a problem.

Ah, how the other half live. 🫣

Is the deli coffee something you could live without?

Um, that's quite big spends if that's every month! How many clothes and bags does one person need? 🫣

It's how some people budget. It works well for many people, if you have limited income and/or want to save and/or have a limited income and/or want to be aware of needless/emotional spending.

What your describing is pocket money, the money left over for fun once bills and vital spends are covered.

This is why constant reviews of budgeting is so important. As in: What are you spending your money on? If it’s 100 a week on lunches and coffees and nothing left for clothes is that what you want?
Keep a constant tally and keep it under review.
I am trying to save and pay down mortgage so am pretty sensible with money and my budget shows I spend around £700/m on what you have listed. If I only had 100/w I know what I can lose first.

So you think it would be reasonable if OP's DH has £1400 left at the end of the month as personal spends and she only has £400?

Perfectly normal to agree to have the same spends each. The whole point is that it's an amount for personal spending that can be spent on whatever and there's no monitoring of the spend. I fritter my money away on random coffees and bits for my hobbies, DP saves his for tech items he's after.

In our case, we both get paid into the joint account and then our personal spends get transferred into our individual accounts. Would love to know what you think's wrong with that setup?

Hang on - you budget £100 for going out. Soooo...you have a set budget...for personal spending?

How is this different to what the OP is describing?! Why don't you see that what you do as "pocket money"? Is it just the fact it's not a sort of general personal spending budget - you think it's somehow ok if it's separate budgets for specific items?