To feel offended by my colleague being promoted

[MrNosey]

I love my colleague, we have a great working relationship. Today (in front of me!) she was taken to the side and offered a promotion. I’m really happy for her and want her to get the position.
However, it’s a role that I’m also qualified for - and I feel - sad that we potentially won’t be together. But also that - I’m not good enough??

But I’m not ‘personable’. My colleague is.

@MrNosey Could you expand on this point please

Could it be that they know you're qualified and assume you don't need to be told to apply, whereas your colleague needs encouragement?

I would be worried if a job was advertised and someone had to be asked to apply! What’s wrong with the job?

@ProfessaChaos

Ok. TBH, a few colleagues have left the team that my colleague has been asked to join.
I don’t get on particularly well with the team leader, whereas my colleague does.
The two colleagues who are leaving - I DO get on with, and feel more an affinity with.
I don’t think the team leader wants anyone of a similar ‘ilk’ as the two who have left.

I may be quite similar to them.

There has been a high turnover in the team, with two left who I don’t think are particularly professional.

Just apply for the role.

"need to be asked " WTF.

Just apply. Maybe they don't want you because you haven't applied & are seen as unambitious & lacking confidence for a senior role.

I think there may be an element of the team leader NOT wanting anyone who may compete with her.

I think I may have been sidelined, because I tend to notice the issues. E.g. collecting things daily that have been missed, noticing an issue that needs addressing before the team leader.

Ok so as a manager. I have a promotion role going.
Two staff members would do a good job, neither applies.
One, is older, has the qualification needed and has the experience...I would assume with all those boxes ticked that she has carefully considered the role and made a decision not to apply. I respect that.

The other staff member is younger, has not currently got the right qualification but I think they could be developed. I think there's a chance that confidence could have been holding them back so I make time to talk to them about it.

Can you see the difference? Whoever talked to your friend probably did so to reassure them that they can still go for a position even without that qualification.

Don't sulk, if you fancy the job throw your hat in the ring. You may not get it but it puts your name in the manager's mind as somebody who wants to progress.