My friends social media use is annoying

[Looneymahooney]

My longest and bestest friend is a lovely woman, and I really value her friendship. In person, she is great to be around... I don't see her too often as she lives further away from me now. We voicenote all the time, and I obviously follow her on all SM.

The thing is, I can not stand her social media posts. Mostly on Instagram. She is constantly posting and subtley trying to show off. I feel I know this because I've known her so long and can read her well.

Some examples are:

She now lives in a large city, and nearly every post seems to hint or mention this city. I think she thinks she lives in a superior place, and the rest of us are farmers or something (obviously, she doesn't literally think this, but it's that kind of attitude)

She writes long, drawn-out posts about her MH. The other day, she posted a video of herself using a facial product and how this was her battling her MH.

She also tells me all about her dating life, which never seems to work out. Most guys will date her for a couple of weeks and then end it. She then posts loads on social media, and I just know it's to try and get the person she was datings attention (i think this is partially what might put them off in the first place).

She also likes to emphasise her middle- class ness (if that's such a thing). And it all seems so snobby.

What really annoys me is when she goes on the odd occasion to an art gallery (she isn't overly cultured), and she'll be posting all these photos of art on social media. She doesn't know a damn thing about art (I studied this area at uni - not that social media would know this)

There are so many other examples. Basically, it absolutely does my nut in, and sometimes I just want to come out and say what I think of it all.

I never do, though, and I am probably BU. Maybe I just needed to vent this here. I feel like if she didn't go on like this online, people she dates would also stick around more. But I couldn't tell her this... she's a very 'shoot the messager' kind of person.

I guess the best option is to mute her, but she'd definitely notice if I stopped watching all her posts, etc...

Mute her anyway. If she questions it (which I honestly think is unlikely to happen) say you’ve reduced your own social media use for your mental health.

Life is far too short to watch content online which drives you mad and risks interfering with a real life friendship with someone you like!

Just back away. Engage with her output less and less.

I dislike art snobs more than people who flex on social media 😂

I know you said that you like her in person but it's really not coming across that way! But if you're sure you do, mute her. Just say you're taking a break from social media etc? Or perhaps take a break from it? It sounds like she's using it for its invented purpose after all.

A few have commented on her constant social media use in the past.

Can’t you just scroll past?

Honestly!! Read this whole novel and I’m just left wondering in what way does OP value this friendship 🤣 she can’t stand the girl.

Yup. Another 'oh this is my bestest friend, love her, besties since childhood, but here's a list of the ways in which she's a cunt'.

If no longer wish to be friends with her OP, that's fine, no obligation on you. Just grow up a bit

I think I also still watch her SM posts because, although we both voicenote each other... I will voicenote maybe twice a day when I am free. She will then voicenote me back maybe 10 - 15 times. I use social media to fill in the gaps. I don't have a free hour in the day just to listen to her voicenotes explaining in detail what she is doing.

4 times a year, more or less.

She's not doing any harm, just stop looking at her sm if you don't approve of it. Are you sure you're her friend, you don't sound like it.

OK, so you don’t like her voicenotes either. Tell her you can’t listen to that many AND scroll past her social media. Stop being a fake friend, which is what you’re doing now!

A day?? 10-15 times?

No, she has told me that they have said this to her

You sound like a jealous twat, not a ‘bestest’ friend. She’s not doing anyone any harm. What is your problem?

Classic MN. If a woman was posting about her new partner saying he was all over SM and posting like this she'd be told he was a walking wave of bunting. And I adore my best friend and hugely value her, but after 20 years of course there are things they do that annoy me.

It does sound super frustrating OP, but I'd just ignore it. If you're as close as you say, your friendship will weather it - just roll your eyes when you see it for the time being.

I have a friend who is like a completely different person on socials; online she comes across as very showy and pass remarkable but isn’t like that at all in real life. The difference was quite jarring really but I just muted her (I’m not that active on sm anyway so she didn’t notice) so now I only ever see the “real” her. I’d advise you to do the same and if she questions you say you’re trying to reduce the amount of time spent on your phone and social media.

What really annoys me is when she goes on the odd occasion to an art gallery (she isn't overly cultured), and she'll be posting all these photos of art on social media. She doesn't know a damn thing about art

What the hell is this about? It "really annoys you" that your friend goes to art galleries? And posts photos of the art? Why does she need to "know anything" about art? I go to art galleries just to look at the nice paintings.

(I studied this area at uni - not that social media would know this)

Ah ok! You're jealous! Everyone thinks she's the cultured one because she's going to art galleries but you're the one who knows about art!!! Not her! But people don't KNOW you know about art because you don't live in the "big city" and don't go to art galleries! What a pickle!

Here's a tip, stop following her on social media, get your own life, in fact, I would probably not speak to her again as you don't seem to like her and have taken to a chat forum to slag her off.

I think that’s because you would have to live or be with a partner while they were posting 15 times a day. You would also need to live with the real person so any signs that they’re a knob are vital. With a friend, you don’t spend that much time with them so it’s perfectly possible to take the good bits and leave (or scroll past) the bad bits. You don’t need to love everything about a friend whereas you largely do with a partner.

OP, stop engaging this much! It’s ridiculous to be catching up on what you’ve missed by checking her social media. I highly doubt that much happened in a day! Think carefully about your use of social media and while her posts which have nothing to do with you are bothering you this much. It’s a sign that your own social media use is out of alignment. Step back and enjoy the good things about your friend.