CHEATED WHILE IM PREGNANT

[ellreesx]

I found out I was pregnant with my partner after 10 months of being together I’m currently 18 weeks pregnant+1 I found out today he cheated on me with a girl he lives with in a hostel (housing accommodation for homeless) I always gave him the benefit of the doubt with his living circumstances because of his up bringing but have had more and more people tell me recently that people choose their own paths. He’s been in and out of hostels since we met and started off so sweet but since I’ve got pregnant I haven’t been able to see him due to the fact he’s got to criminal cases against him and he’s not allowed around the baby until he goes through social services which I’ve stuck to. But he’s always told me he’s going to do everything right for our baby and then even more when he found out it was a little girl but I’ve since found out it’s all false hope, he’s cheated with a 36 year old woman that lives in this hostel with him (he’s 19) and neither of them are being completely truthful with me they keep going back on their story’s. I’ve simply said I’m going to take me and my daughter out of the equation because she is unable to have custody of her own kids so there is no way I am allowing her around mind. She’s also bragging that the offence has now been “NFA” and this is the type of people he is meeting and expecting to bring around my child. I obviously no longer want to be with him but am I the bad person for not allowing him to be involved with our daughter while he’s involved with people like that. This same girl also assaulted him last week. I’ll always love the boy he was my first love and I think this is why I’ve given him a bit of leeway this whole time. A lot more than I should’ve. How do I get over the feeling of being heart broken?

He's not someone you are going to be able to depend on.
Ditch him and avoid all the drama that he's involved in

Move on now. He lives in a homeless hostel. Leave it at that.

you use every grain of hope n love you had for him to better you and your precious baby.Take whatever support you can, its ok to feel sad at what could have been-but keep it real- the love and life you want and deserve is outwith his capabilities. step away now- dont look back x

Well shocked to my foundations 🙄
Get rid

He's not going to ever support you so leave it. Tbh I wouldn't allow him around my DD unless he had himself sorted out. Do not put his name on the birth certificate and give your DD your last name.

Get rid OP and do not let him around your DD unless he sorts himself out. Given the situation with SS it is likely the law would be on your side too.

A lot of people have terrible upbringings and choose to better themselves, he clearly is not one of them.

He cheats, lies, is homeless and a criminal. God he sounds like a real catch! Move on now while you can and run

He'll make your life a misery. Run!

If he's not even allowed around his own child why are you surprised he's with someone who also isn't allowed around their own child?

You need to put your baby first and that means not permitting him access also. Forget about the woman, she's irrelevant.

He isn't being kind to you so he won't be a kind role model for your daughter, he has nothing to offer you so walk away and just think of the love you have for your daughter as that is the real love.
Please do not waste your life on this person as he has shown you who he really is.

YANBU at all. Unfortunately it doesn’t sound as if he is able to find stability at this time. He’s only 19 and there is still hope. However, this is not anything you are able to influence. It is possible to still care about a person and recognise that they are not a safe person to be around, which is what you are doing. Cutting him loose is actually the best thing you can do for him right now. If he wants to be involved in the baby’s life, he will have to turn things around. There’s the boundary.

Would you want your daughter to end up with a man like him? If the answer is no - which it damn well should be!, then why would you allow yourself to have such a horrid man in your life?

Best piece of advice on here is don't put him on the birth certificate and give her your surname.

Pick your self esteem up off the floor and bring that poor kid up to be a strong, empowered girl who wouldn't fucking look at a man like that.

Don't let him move in with you, even if he asks.

Where to start with any of this…

At most I'd allow supervised visits at a visitation centre.

I'll be gentle because if this is true you're very young. Do you have any support? Anyone you could go to to help protect you? YABU to be around these people, you're in over your head. What do you think at his age (19) with a record, he's done that SS are already involved? Look up 'failure to protect.' In the future it might be you fighting to keep your DD if you don't act decisively now.

Why on earth did you choose this peach of a man to have a baby with . What have you got to offer a child .

Why why WHY are people having babies in these situations

Wow, he sounds like a real catch,

And you chose to have a child with this prince?

Hattie43 is right.

That poor child.......