Should I tell this child's mother what I saw

[scandinista]

On the way home from school today I saw a little girl being fiercely shouted at by an adult who was bringing her home. This woman was yelling from the start of the walk home to the front door and really telling her off about her unacceptable behaviour.

I don't know what had happened but it seemed very aggressive and unpleasant and, as it was so public, very embarrassing for the little girl (who is 6). She was silent throughout looking really miserable.

Should I tell her mum? She seems like a nice lady. If it's a close family friend or relative then maybe it's ok but I'm not sure.

Would you want to know if someone had witnessed an adult ranting at your child? I think I would.

And if mum is part of the problem? Again, the safety of the child is more important than parents' feelings

I don't think they'd have to be fucking Columbo to figure it out? Once this has been raised with a teacher they have to pursue. That could be asking the parent who picked the child up, checking footage etc.

Sorry, you mean tying up a member of the safeguarding team, by making them do their job?

Do you really work in a school?

Unbelievable.

I would tell the mum and school safeguarding lead in written form.

Yes, otherwise you'll never be at peace about it,and always wondering.if it's justified yelling at the wee one, then ok, if it's not, you've done the right thing passing that info to Mum, and you can relax knowing you've done the right thing.
Remind me of a time in a shop I saw a guy grab a youngster by her hair to keep her close to the shopping trolley, I'm afraid I went for him....I told him he was doing physical and psychological damage to her....a great big thug of a man..... dissolved in front of me.

Not everything can become school's responsibility. The school can't do anything in this situation beyond the same conversation that OP has already had with the parent.

I think people severely underestimate the severity of the safeguarding situations that schools are dealing with every day.

The actual point of telling the school is to ensure there is further follow up, as the parent may already be aware of, or complicit in the abuse of this child. It's a vitally important part of safeguarding that information is shared with all the parties involved so there is overview. The school may already have safeguarding concerns about the child. Social care may already be involved. This could be a one-off situation, or part of a pervasive pattern of abuse. It's vital to tell the school.

Please also tell the school. You don't know the full situation, it may be another part of the picture that the school already building in terms of safeguarding.
If it turns out there is pattern of abuse, you'll wish you'd reported it properly and not just told the parent who may be complicit or aware. The neighbours of Sara Sharif heard her being verbally abused.

Having just done my safeguarding training I think you should tell the school safeguarding lead. You don't know the relationships involved.

My point was, the child is vulnerable. This is a significant issue. This situation is safeguarding.

And that's exactly what a member of the safeguarding team should be involved with.

This is exactly the right thing to do.

Yes, say what you saw. Whatever falls out afterwards isn’t on you.

I’d only stay out if it was a parent themselves as I know how hard some kids can be especially ND kids when overexcited coming out of school, they can end up in roads and if it’s dangerous. Gentle parenting sometimes is lost on them. However if you know this is definitely not the mother then yes I would let her know

But to add, if you feel uncomfortable then definitely go to school as they won’t name you and they can tell the parent it was a general observation. The parent may feel able to deal with it better knowing it’s come from someone impartial and not feel awkward around other parents in the future

@scandinista Did the Mum reply?

So we are all going to ignore the fact that a 6 year old was being told off for bad behaviour? If that child had used racist language, stolen a toy, smacked another child- would it not warrant a sever telling off? When I was told off as a child I used to look miserable and solemn, not happy and thrilled. I find this thread very bizarre, my sister and mother are well within their responsibility of care to tell my child off. I know that gentle parenting is all the fad now but seriously the number of people ready to include the safeguarding lead as if the British Foster Care system is Utopia. Honestly, this is why we have so many shitty teenagers- no one can discipline their children anymore, let alone give them a telling off!!!

You can correct a child's behaviour without yelling at them for a prolonged period of time.

The woman was telling the 6 year old off from the point she picked her up till she got home, aggressively and unpleasantly, and very publicly. She's not the child's mother. Even if she had done those things, it sounds way over the top for a child of that age, and frankly it's for the parent to decide how to deal with it. If my child had behaved badly at school, I would wait till I got her home and talked to her about it to find out what had happened and what lay behind it. After all, there may have been a misunderstanding, she might have been defending herself, etc. I would be furious if someone who was simply bringing her home took it on themselves to bawl her out publicly and aggressively and didn't leave it to me to deal with.

Yes tell Mum. Gently ask her if XXX was ok the other day as you saw her being scolded quite aggressively by the adult collecting her from school & little one seemed upset. If it's a family member it might not be as bad but if it's a Nanny or Childminder then they should be pulled up on their behaviour.