Should I tell this child's mother what I saw

[scandinista]

On the way home from school today I saw a little girl being fiercely shouted at by an adult who was bringing her home. This woman was yelling from the start of the walk home to the front door and really telling her off about her unacceptable behaviour.

I don't know what had happened but it seemed very aggressive and unpleasant and, as it was so public, very embarrassing for the little girl (who is 6). She was silent throughout looking really miserable.

Should I tell her mum? She seems like a nice lady. If it's a close family friend or relative then maybe it's ok but I'm not sure.

Would you want to know if someone had witnessed an adult ranting at your child? I think I would.

Absolutely. Protecting children is everyone's business

No. Because what if they support this kind of behaviour? The school will know who picked the kid up - childminder, relative etc.

The job here is to protect the child, not the feelings of the parents.

Yes I’d tell the mum. I’d make it clear I had absolutely no other context than what I saw or any idea what had happened previously.

Tell her.

If it was a mum I knew well, I’d ask if her daughter was ok and tell her what I saw. If I didn’t know them well, I’d tell the school as I wouldn’t want to get involved with it directly. Poor little girl.

Completely agree.

It's extremely unlikely that the teacher would remember who picked a child up yesterday.

Yes, I would, and I did when I saw a SF being rough and unkind to a child. But tell her face to face and frame it carefully.

Tell the school. They are the professionals and will know the best way to handle it and it will be on file then.
As pp said above protect the child not the parents.

Bit harsh on the parents when it wasn't them doing the shouting or even there. I think telling the mum in this case is the right way to deal with this.

If it wasn't the mother it will be a named relative/childcare provider. They'll know.

Yes I know the mum to say hello to and this was another lady who I have seen around but never with this child. The child is an absolutely lovely little girl, it was shocking to witness.

I have messaged the mum and apologised if I got the wrong end of the stick but shared what I saw and how excessive and drawn out it seemed.

Thanks all though, it's pretty reassuring when you get consensus on AIBU.

You did the right thing!

Keep us updated on how she responds.

You absolutely can't guarantee that. I couldn't tell you who picked up each child in my class yesterday. I could tell you which adults are authorized to pick up each child.

I understand why so many people are advocating going through the school, but if a direct conversation with the parents is possible, that's likely to be a more appropriate solution. The school would have the same conversation with the parents, but it would be based of second hand information, and would tie up a member of the safeguarding team for the duration of the investigation and the meeting.

Obviously report to the school.

I think if mum is horrified, I wouldn’t report to the school. If she shrugs it off and says she pays the nanny to instil discipline, consider taking it further.

Please do tell her mum.

That poor little girl. I would've been tempted to stop and say something at the time.

This happened to me once, I’m eternally glad I was told. Turns out ex’s crackpot new girlfriend was being an abusive little bully. Having a witness helped immensely. I would tell her.

Tying up a member of the safeguarding team for the duration of the investigation, is keeping them from what? From safeguarding?!

Possibly, from dealing with significant issues, meeting with the most vulnerable children or chasing up on referrals. Things that can only be done by the school staff and not sorted by parents communicating directly.

That's for them to decide. You have no idea how serious this situation is or isn't.

A member of staff could talk to the child to ask what happened and who picked them up

Yes definitely. That's very disproportionate and scary for the young child. Please report OP

Definitely tell her parents. This is abuse.