My house is a mess...and I'm beyond caring!!

[everychildmatters]

Just that!!
Hubby and I both work in very demanding jobs with a 4 yo, two teenagers and a cat.
Absolutely no chance of ever being able to afford a cleaner!
House is relatively clean(ish) but pretty messy and we're even busier of course at this time of year. Piles of clothes to be washed and toys to be tidied etc.
AIBU to just not let it bother me so much and enjoy living more?
Hubby and I had a most enjoyable evening tonight.. it apoears to be working for us so far! 😀

Sounds like you’re in need of a good declutter.

If you didn't care, you wouldn't be starting a thread, surely?

If you are happy to accept it why the need for permission from mumsnet?

Does it bother your dc?

My first response is yeah, good for you. But sometimes people can be kidding themselves about the real state of their house, and how it can impact their dc.

And honestly, I don’t really buy the “clean but messy line”. That’s what I told myself too but it’s hard to clean around mess.

@WonderfulUsername I do and I don't. I've always been stressed about keeping a decent house but finding I'm learning to let go and just live a bit more I suppose? I guess I'm recognising it's just not possible to do it all...

@Behindthethymes My dc are usually the ones adding to the mess so no!
I also think at 14 and 17 if they are bothered then they should get off their backsides and help out!!!

Agree with decluttering. Our house is always very tidy and clean because it’s so much easier to tidy and clean when you don’t also have to move things and work around things, so it takes no time at all. You can say you don’t care now, but as it starts to really build up you’ll likely begin to feel differently.

Teens should be helping with piles of clothes to be washed and folded and messes that need throwing or putting away - if they get pocket money or allowances they should be conditional on that. And a 4-year-old is old enough to not take all their toys out at once and to put them away when they’re finished - they’ll certainly be taught this routine at nursery and school.

Nope, couldn’t relax when I see mess around me.
About 90% of people have demanding jobs and kids,surely between both of you, you have 3-4 days off a week , plenty of time to clean and do your washing

When I desperately needed a cleaner I had one once a fortnight for 3 hours to keep on top of things

@pompey38 Not sure how we have 3-4 days off a week? I work over the weekends a lot as well as throughout the week. I don't want to spend all of my free time cleaning and tidying tbh.

As long as we are not talking about the level of mess social services would be interested in then I agree life is too short to worry about keeping an immaculate house.

Do your 14 and 17 year olds do anything in the house?

I have spinal issues use a cane a lot. Hoovering with one is a challenge. With two dogs and a cat aigh the hairs. I've been doing the end of year accounts. Wrapping presents, writing Christmas cards. Everything needs doing.

Today DH dug out the carpet cleaner for the sitting room while I was in the office, it now looks lovely again.

DH has tactfully suggested a cleaner tonight. I still hold out hope that I will get better at least be in less pain. But I think he's right.

@Donkeyfromshrek Oh it's not THAT bad!! My hubby works in social care and he says our place is a sanctuary compared to many of the homes he visits. It's not exactly tidy, but then I suppose "messy" is relative. Sinks and toilets not gleaming, but not disgraceful either.

Well i dont see what you are worrying about then

@everychildmatters I think @pompey38 meant you have 3 to 4 days off per week between you. Most people have 2 days off, so between you and your OH there are potentially 4 days that you could clean on.

However, you don't have to use your days off to clean, and if it's working for you then that is fine, and you don't need anyone else to tell you it's fine either.

I agree OP! Now if I could just get DH on board that’d be great.

@Howmanysleepsnow Assuming DH does his fair share of housework?

That's part of your problem isn't it? That you have able bodied 14 and 17 year olds who not only do nothing to help keep the house clean but actually create a mess like they are toddlers.

While a home doesn't have to always be perfectly clean I find I can't concentrate or have a relaxed evening with clutter and mess around me but then again I find it easier to clean as I go and ensure my child was taught to be responsible and contribute not create mess for mummy to clean after them.

If you're happy with it go for it, you don't need validation from mumsnet.

It's all relative though...I'm sure the OPs mess would be somebody else's tidy!
IMO the key is good storage. Have plenty of designated storage where you can throw your crap to make your house look instantly tidier.
It also makes it less daunting to declutter if you are just doing a box or drawer at a time.

Personally I keep things tidy and cleanish but I'm not too bothered. Can't remember when I last cleaned the skirting boards, for example....because they are skirting boards and I don't care.😎

I don't know, if messy just means not immaculate at all times then fair enough. I have seen people in hoarding situations say their home is 'a bit messy' which is obviously vvv unreasonable when children live in the home.
I hoover daily, upstairs and downstairs so my floors should be spotless but I have two* *dogs and two cats so realistically my house is never immaculate, but it is clean and tidy enough.

If it works for you great. Personally I have friends that live in clutter and it is usually a representation of the mind. Usually it ends where everyone is upset due to clutter.

If some outstanding laundry and a few toys on the floor i your idea of mess you’re probably not doing to badly 😬

But only storing what you need. I decluttered significantly nearly 10 years ago. Every 3 months I redo one area, kitchen cupboards, coat cupboard or whatever. The effort in decluttering somewhere that has been decluttered is so much less. Keeping it tidy is even easier.

Minimalists get slated but there is method behind the madness. Decluttering is key, less shit to be laying around. Why are there clothes everywhere, invest in another laundry basket.

If you’re happy, you’re happy. I couldn’t live in a messy house though, but that’s my preference.