My house is a mess...and I'm beyond caring!!

[everychildmatters]

Just that!!
Hubby and I both work in very demanding jobs with a 4 yo, two teenagers and a cat.
Absolutely no chance of ever being able to afford a cleaner!
House is relatively clean(ish) but pretty messy and we're even busier of course at this time of year. Piles of clothes to be washed and toys to be tidied etc.
AIBU to just not let it bother me so much and enjoy living more?
Hubby and I had a most enjoyable evening tonight.. it apoears to be working for us so far! 😀

I'm always a bit sceptical when people say that their house is clean but messy. Are you dusting, wiping, and hoovering around all the clutter and calling it clean, or are you shifting all the mess around to clean under it and then, why wouldn't you just tidy it away?

@ByMerryKoala Hubby and I both do those, although he is rubbish at loo cleaning!
We need a declutter at some point, definitely.

Maybe not the point of your thread, but can the two of you really not afford a tenner a week each to pay a cleaner for an hour? Or a fiver a week each for a cleaner once a fortnight?

Coming from a house where my mum had so much stuff and to her cleaning involved hoovering once a month, I never brought friends home as I was so embarrassed. I hold a lot of resentment towards her for that. She was a stay at home mum too so she really did have the time.

Anyway, I’m sure yours isn’t as bad as that, but just be conscious of it I guess.

I couldn't live in a messy house but that's my preference (although having a mum who prefaced the word "tidy" with the two words "nice and" probably affected me 😅). Having less crap and systems help though - all meals get cleared up after eating, clean laundry goes in ironing basket or straight back into wardrobes, coats hung up, personal possessions upstairs immediately etc. Teenagers should clean their own rooms and help with other chores, they are perfectly capable!

@shutupputup If I was a SAHM I can assure you my house would be immaculate!

You work 2.5 days a week. Why is your house such a mess? I thought you were a professional cleaner now anyway? Surely you should be able to manage your own house?

The joy of living in your own home is doing what you want with it. If you and your family are OK with clutter then that's fine, it's nothing to do with anyone else so YANBU.
Personally, I would find it stressful and prefer to be more minimal and have things put away. No problem with that either.

@Digdongdoo I class teach 2.5 days, currently supplying 2. HTH?

Ok. Sure.

Messy houses are not clean, whatever you think. Too much junk means you're not able to clean as thoroughly as you should. And if you haven't got time to pick up toys then you certainly aren't cleaning as often as it takes.

Op I’d love to be happy with that, I love your post! If you’re in the middle ground between messy and pristine, that’s where I’d like to get to- we grew up in a pristine house prior to the use of the word decluttering and all it means to me is that if I hadn’t kept a memory box there’d be no proof my mum even had kids bar photos! Was recently shocked to find our attic absolutely empty (I always assumed mum had tidied away anything I couldn’t find. Honestly I was heartbroken. (I won’t tell her that cos she’s absolutely fab!)

our house is messy, not horrifically but not clean because I spend my life fighting school books and papers, Lego, gaming magazines and clothes from 4 kids, along with a dog and cat. The teens help at the weekends but it doesn’t touch the overall appearance really. I don’t want sterile but I want clean floors and an overall kind of tidy look (like the ones I get from weeks of prep prior to a stay over or party!!)

Dh won’t get in a cleaner as his mum was a cleaner as a child and he has a hang up on it but I aim to sneak one in (btw he quotes not having enough money but twice a month we get take away which I believe we could easily forgo for someone to give me a hand!)

@FrannyScraps I'm more than happy with a not thoroughly clean house tbh. Clean enough is good enough - I've finally realised there are more important things in life than a show home 😀

@Digdongdoo How's your job going?

Great, thanks!

My home as always been spotless and always will be.
Maybe because im a minimalist some would call me a bare minimalist.
Live how you want to op but i cant stand mess or clutter.

My dining table is always covered in clutter. We don't really use it so if it gets cleared it gets covered again straight away :(

The rest of my house is a bit cluttery or 'lived in haha. Don't understand how/if people have these Instagram houses. We have too much stuff and a toddler.

Proof the mess is bothering you then.

Who is going to see your house ? Only you and your family. I would just go with the flow .

My bugbear in my house is clothes..I've got 3 kids and one on the way so clothes are EVERYWHERE! our house isn't huge either. I have to dedicate days off to sorting it out "only for it to be the same next day"

Friends? In-laws? I agree with go with the flow, people should live how they see fit, it just appears that OP doesn't really like the mess and is trying to convince herself otherwise. Personally, I couldn't stand a messy house, being surrounded by 'stuff' would feel chaotic to me and cause me more stress than actually doing the housework. It's one of those things, the more you keep on top of it the easier it is, letting things build up just makes for a greater task when/if you get around to doing it.

@Newbynewbynew It's not, but as a SAHM the housework would be a part of my "job." As it stands I work so something has to give.
My friends and in-laws are always happy to take us as they find us - and the same goes the other way around.
Hubby and I have just enjoyed an amazing child-free night away and it's been far more enjoyable that cleaning the house until it's pristine!
I suppose you learn what's important ❤️

If you truly dont care about it, I'm happy for you 🥂

@Tootsurly If you're paying a cleaner £10 a hour that's below minimum wage!!
And who actually pays for a cleaner one hour per week?!!! Not sure it would be worth them coming out tbh...

I said a tenner a week each. I.e. £20.

My cleaner does an hour once a fortnight which is plenty to keep things up to scratch, but I do live on my own.