Endless endless jobs

[HTruffle]

Does anyone feel swamped by the absolutely endless list of jobs to do? I don’t even mean the big things like work, for example, although they take up a lot of time obviously. What I mean is the absolutely non stop mental list of small and medium things that need doing ON A NON STOP CONSTANT BASIS?

So to illustrate my point today I’ve done the dishwasher, some admin on the computer, ordered Christmas presents, gone to work, done two school runs and one extra child pick up, made tea, packed lunches, cleaned the kitchen for the 8 millionth time this month, helped elderly relative with a house issue, flossed teeth because we SHOULD ETC, picked up bits of crap off the floor, answered hundreds upon hundreds of kids’ questions, a bedtime routine for two kids, washed school shirts, ordered a new diary and probably 4973 other jobs which just have to get done.

is this just how it is!? When on earth is the time for anything else?!?

Yeah and every time you think you will get free time 10 other things come up, its constant and tiring.
I have just filled my January 2025 diary with a load of jobs etc... dog groomer x2 dogs, hospital appointment, dental appointment, garden fence replacement, birthdays x2 so need to get cards and gifts for that. Hairdressers appointment and eyebrow wax. Will need to order dogs medication at the vets and special diet food from amazon and wait in for that to arrive. Dog needs spay operation as well. This all happening first 2 weeks of January.
I like christmas and bank holidays because my time is mostly mine to relax.

I agree about prioritising your own well-being, but renewing passports every 10 years is hardly onerous

I wonder when people ever get time to do all the little unseen jobs. This week I've done things like wash some curtains, cleaned the dishwasher filter, cut the hair off the hoover roller, wiped all the finger marks off appliances, cleaned some lampshades! Things like that seem never ending. I genuinely don't know how people have time to do it all, unless they have a cleaner. When you add it onto the normal day to day chores, it really mounts up. I am never on top of it all.

Absolutely. I’ve checked game time for one child Friday, worked out logistics with dh for dropping and picking up from school and childcare and at two disco times and one basketball which overlap, downloaded registration from for dc2 basketball team, sent it to work to print tomorrow, made 2 older dc do their reading and write in reading journals, checked on sat plans, thought about Christmas food, bought present for dc1 from grandparents, updated to do list, found business card for appt I need to make, got cash for cleaner, looked for wetsuit top for dc1 for summer holiday, it’s midnight and I need to go to bed but realised I haven’t hung out the load of washing I put on. I also haven’t made my lunch or checked dc uniforms for tomorrow, or done anything I’m behind on at work. So much overwhelm

I think this time of the year is the pits for this. The list of background jobs and commitments goes through the roof while my entire body feels drawn to a state of quasi hibernation.

I always think of how people can have immaculate houses. It's not the actual cleaning and tidying, but how do they have the time to do everything? Immediately? No pile of stuff for later, no backlog of anything, every single thing in the house with not only its own place but you having the time and motivation to actually do it every single time. It blows my mind.

Genuine question, would you describe your life as stable tho? I'm an excellent planner but life threatening illness with a family member, helping my mum to adjust to life as a widow etc has massively impacted my ability to stay on top of things. I know many people have it much, much worse.

Oh yes…I woke up at 5 this morning and thought I may as well get up to start food planning so I could get cracking on the food shop as soon as I’d dropped the children to school…but now have a poorly DD, so will have to go after kids are in bed at 8pm 👍

My least favourite thing to do is: finding a home for the never-ending stream of shit that seems to enter the house. I’m so fucking sick of putting stuff away.

Here's another example- leave to go to school to pick up ds. My key fob which is a leather thing that was my grandmothers, it's very special to me as it's the only thing I have of hers and it's probably 60 yrs old, has almost ripped. I need to get some wonderweb and a piece of fabric to repair it before it breaks permanently. Then, my brand new coat has a sticky zip, I need to locate some wd40 and spray the zip. That's probably 20 minutes of jobs added to my list and all I was doing was leaving the house.

I relate ! Since my earlier message I have remembered our front door squeaks and it's so annoying it needs to be sorted. Wd40 job hopefully
Then the hoover broke so I need to sort that out asap too

It's madness !

Yes but I write them down. When they're written down they're out of my head until they need doing, loads of people think I'm really chilled out and don't give a s* because I'm not stressing about what day they start swimming and if they need a packed lunch but I'll deal with it nearer the time. Today I'm doing x, y, z. I really recommend it, I have a week to view planner and write it out every week

Was about to go to bed but thread just reminded me to do an online shop as my fridge is bare

I am also so fucking sick of putting things away. I feel like there is a tide line of crap in the hall which washes in daily but is never the same!! Right now it’s drifted to other rooms as I’m ill so we are down to bare essentials being done.

I feel permanently anxious in the pit of my stomach because I know that there are more jobs piling up all the time. We were not meant to juggle full time work with looking after children and a home, it's exhausting. My DH does try but he just doesn't get the mental load. Like I was explaining that I think about getting something out of the freezer for dinner every morning (because I know he won't) and he just looked at me in surprise and said 'well I just combine looking after DS (toddler) with a trip to the supermarket to get something for dinner when I have him. It combines errands with amusing him, don't see?' I love him very much but could have punched him because I combine looking after DS with taking him to the trampoline park to tire him out, going to Dunelm to pick up supplies eg curtain rail and sewing bits, ordering Christmas food for his bloody family to come on Christmas Day, timing an online meeting with 30 minutes of Bluey, cleaning the bathroom, hoovering, a load of laundry, squeezing in some emailed while the kettle boils for his pasta, planning an outfit his dad can put him in to go to nursery while I leave for work, planning and cooking a nutritious dinner he'll actually eat before he gets too scratchy, making the beds, untangling Christmas lights, the list goes on. Men have no idea. No. Fucking. Idea.

Yes I am fucking sick of the oppressive tide of shite constant bollocks little and big jobs that always need sorting and only ever increase.
It really isn't funny is it? Total overwhelm.
Every little job leads to several more jobs. Need to fix a plate. Drive to shop, spend 20 mins looking for glue that they have placed in illogical location. Queue to purchase glue. Pull out of parking space, notice windscreen wash is low. Top that up. Spill fluid on hands, great, now smell terrible. Probably need to wash this jumper now.
I really don't think I remember adults being this busy when I was a child in the 80s/90s.

Yes same here. Parcels to collect,parcels to drop off, emails to respond to, payments to make, do my day job, do my side hustle after my day job, look after myself and keep a toddler alive. There's no spare minute in the day!

It’s never-ending…

I remember my young, carefree days, when neither work nor home would ever bother me. I was always having a laugh!

Now, there’s just so much to do. All of the time!

Agree with last couple posts here…

Men have no idea!

Adults (women) weren’t this busy in the 80s/90s.
My mum was as at home. My dad came home at 5pm.

There is no spare minute…

You've totally missed the point, the passport renewal is just yet another thing to be done, there'll be 10 more of those jobs that don't need doing often but there's multiples of them!

Yep. December is bad for this in general, and I have a December birthday child.
Head feels ready to explode!

I think it's the sheer relentlessness of it as well. To be fair, my dh is good (not brilliant, I still carry the mental load on a lot of things) but he's good, he does the dc in the mornings so I can walk the dog or exercise before work, he irons school uniforms, he does daily things like bins and dishwasher etc. he's not so great in the monthly chores department. He buys all dc Christmas and birthday presents though after a few years ago I flatly refused. I do stockings for the dc but he organises and orders and wraps everything else.

I agree with a the posters above- I always make time to exercise as a priority. We're so busy that 30-40 minutes makes FA difference to the chores but makes a huge difference to mental wellbeing. Plus I have found that jotting it down helps. I pick a couple of things each week I'm actually going to do. The 100 items swirling on the list then remain contained but I can still get my 'tick' for doing my 3 or 4, plus it means I can actually think of things (because that's the other problem isn't it? We're so overwhelmed that sometimes I can't even think of what needs doing!)

The other thing we're trying hard to do is as we do work on the house is future proof and make life easier, not just aesthetically better. Storage, easy to clean etc. - admittedly that's playing the long game.

This is why it completely baffles me that some women enjoy the chaos of having lots of children.

I’m a list maker.
Preferably a paper list so I can delete with great gusto when I’ve tackled a job.

Somehow hitting the delete button doesn’t swing it for me.

I am so glad it isn’t just me! I work part time but compressed (so three days out of the house for 13 hours at a time as long commute). I thought I was going to be laughing when youngest started school in September. Two full child free days to get the house sorted! Well, I tell you, I never stop on those days and I still don’t know where the time goes - I have been trying to declutter, and decorate a room, but seriously. I’m still doing stuff at weekends and have never felt so stressed.

Really identify with the poster above who described a tidal wave of stuff washing into the hall each day!

I probably sound very inefficient so should caveat this by adding I have a ND child who takes a high degree of management - mainstream school but requires a lot of emotional support at home as well as some appointments. Plus DC1 is older so doesn’t go to bed so early now so I can never get anything done before 9.30pm. Plus a younger child who would also like some of my attention.

DH pulls his weight with the kids and garden but seems to have decided the house and life admin are my problem now I’ve got all this free time 🙄 and the list of things it would never occur to him to do is long, many and varied (of recent jobs - clean the oven, check kids’ Christmas jumpers and work out who needs a new one, start drafting EHCNA application for DC1, clear out hall drawer of outgrown mittens/gloves, sort outgrown clothes/toys and sell/pass on/give away, haggle over car insurance rather than accept ridiculously priced renewal, repeat for 3 other policies…..)

But on a serious note, I think we are all overloaded and there is going to be a price to pay for that both health-wise and as a society. Life seems so busy and pressured, especially for women.