Endless endless jobs

[HTruffle]

Does anyone feel swamped by the absolutely endless list of jobs to do? I don’t even mean the big things like work, for example, although they take up a lot of time obviously. What I mean is the absolutely non stop mental list of small and medium things that need doing ON A NON STOP CONSTANT BASIS?

So to illustrate my point today I’ve done the dishwasher, some admin on the computer, ordered Christmas presents, gone to work, done two school runs and one extra child pick up, made tea, packed lunches, cleaned the kitchen for the 8 millionth time this month, helped elderly relative with a house issue, flossed teeth because we SHOULD ETC, picked up bits of crap off the floor, answered hundreds upon hundreds of kids’ questions, a bedtime routine for two kids, washed school shirts, ordered a new diary and probably 4973 other jobs which just have to get done.

is this just how it is!? When on earth is the time for anything else?!?

At what point did life become a constant stream of never ending jobs. I. My 20s/early 30s I had a full time job and a child under 5. I seemed to have more time for fun and fewer jobs. I'm not sure what happened and when it happened.

Yes I also agree with this. This past year - 18 months I can’t actually work out what has changed but I feel busier than ever and further behind the pile of things to be done!!

If it helps I take all the old kids stuff to a local kids charity shop. Bigger stuff I put on freecycle so people pick it up from me. I know even doing that takes time though.

MN always sneers at life admin and posters claim to do it in 5 minutes a day, but I find it takes longer. Repairs, a health check, chasing a credit card that I should have got a month ago...

So glad I don't do Christmas though.

I agree but I'm not sure you can really include flossing your teeth as a task. 😂 It's a bit like saying you boiled the kettle, had to get the sugar out the cupboard, open the jar, get a spoon out the draw, spoon out some sugar, open the coffee jar, add the coffee, get the milk out the fridge, add the milk, stir the coffee, wash up the spoon, put the milk back in fridge, spoon back in draw, coffee back in its place, etc.

I have seen this and it genuinely baffles me but I do have a friend who lives a very simple life with no kids , no drama, parents overseas , no mortgage , no debts , no car , minimal hobbies beyond cooking and socialising - she visits me and looks genuinely agog at all the never ending stream of stuff I have going on!

So far today things added to non existent but never ending 'list'
Email school about a bullying incident
Remind DH about bleeding radiators as heating not working fully
Chase DD Christmas jumper for Friday if not coming need a plan B
Look again for school jumpers as we're out of stock
Pack for trip to London tomorrow
Book ice skating for last day of term for DD

On and on it goes and I sometimes realise I don't even appreciate the nice bits as it's total overwhelm

If you have school age kids- I don't- there really is an endless amount of crap.

What I try to do is batch tasks so they do't spread over the day and take up mental space. I also found Laura Vanderkam's books useful.

Yeah. Fuck it all. Fuck it all to hell.

I could blitz my house and then turn around and there’s piles of laundry again, the kitchen can go from immaculate to needing a full clean up after one meal, someone will go take a shower and the bathroom will be messy again. Not to mention the never ending stuff we need to constantly buy.

I am with you. Fuck it all.

On top of work and general everyday life tasks I have endless admin, most of it not for me because I have three people with disabilities in my own family that rely on me to do paperwork, organise appointments etc. Then I am POA for my elderly disabled father. Currently I am also an executor for my late Aunt's estate which is a huge ongoing task.

DH tries his best and does what he can, helps with my Dad too, but isn't really able to organise time wise effectively or do life admin because of his disabilities. The mental load all falls on me. I am beyond exhausted and currently ill with flu due to being burnt out. At this point if Christmas happens it might be a TV dinner.

It gets better. DS does his own cooking, laundry and cleaning now, for the most part. DH works insane hours so doesnt do as much as I do, but he eats whatever I dish up and does other stuff.
Hang in there.

God, yes. Here too. My kids are 20 and 16 but the everyday shit takes up ALL of everyday. The smallest thing on top of the usual leads to chaos. In the past 6 weeks I have been rear ended by a lorry when stationary which meant endless additional admin, hassle, whiplash, lost income, tons of appointments etc on top of everything else, plus Christmas prep, plus now my ex mil is dying in hospital v suddenly and I'm trying to support the kids and juggle my teaching around to help keep everything going at work. I'm absolutely wrecked and completely overwhelmed.

I keep thinking wtf is the point of being this headless chicken with such a ridiculous amount of general life admin to sort out. I'm not remotely OCD, the house is a tip because something has had to give, but my God I am TIRED of it all. It's relentless.

Definitely hear you, it's bloody exhausting.

Yep and also I just feel like I can't do anything quickly anymore. I swear 5 years ago I could whizz round my house with the hoover, tidy up, put washing away etc all super quick and now everything seems to have slowed right down.

And don't even get me started on Christmas,
Get decs from loft
Sort everything
Tree is potted outside- need to go to get soil
Get tree indoors
Decorate
Landing is now covered in boxes need to go back into the loft
Loft is full of boxes of stuff - mental note that in January I am going to hire skip and/or set fire to loft
Untangle a million sets of lights
Need batteries
Find box of batteries with all spent ones mixed in
Test 100 batteries
Order batteries on Asda shop and wait til next day
Find mini screwdriver set
Do battery lights
Etc etc etc

I swear a few years ago I would have created bloody santas grotto one handed while drinking mulled wine and this year it's took me four days to decorate a 4ft tree 🤦‍♀️

Kids at Uni.

I am 50 and taking a couple of years off work.

Letting all the adults in my house take on more of their own life tasks.

Started MJ so I am now the winner of who can wait the longest til someone sorts dinner!

Lidl and Aldi within 10 minutes walk from the house so I no longer do big shops because MJ has freed me from being a food slave. They can all get their own.

I remember what you describe well and honestly, I don’t know how I managed it!

Yes. All that PLUS a FT job = complete overwhelm.

But that's the point! It all takes our lives over and is relentless

I have a really silly hack I use, it sounds pathetic, but I pretend I'm a third stew in 'Below Deck' and that I have to get everything ready for obnoxious rich guests. It genuinely helps a bit.

My father, a few years after he retired, confessed he had no idea how he managed to fins time to go to work as there was so much to do.
Kept him busy for almost 25 years.

I do find that if I go on social media I feel even more frazzled. I need to break my MN habit.

Yep I'm with you. I'm a single parent who does the daily graft, I get up, get ready, get DD ready for school, breakfast, tidy up and make beds, get school things together which are always prepared the night before, walk DD to school, walk back, work until 2.30pm, pick DD up, quick pop home, change, eat, then run her off to whatever club, carry on work until she's finished, pick up, dinner, reading/homework, tidy up, wash up, DD bath, put a wash on, get DD to sleep, hang up wash then prepare whatever for the next day. Usually 9pm by the time I'm sat down. That's on top of ferrying around to activities and parties at the weekend and deep cleaning the house at the weekend. I'm exhausted 😩! But, I know DD appreciates it. Her Dad is a Disney dad and splashes the cash on expensive activities etc, he doesn't do an eighth of the things I do and DD recognises the sacrifices I've made and how much I do. She's a really smart, astute girl and will have the wherewithal to get on well in life :) x

Not me. It is simply a question of good planning habits.

But how do good planning habits reduce the sheer volume of things to do?

I'm extremely well organised. But I still have a massive list of things to do (admittedly not helped by the 30 odd medical appointments per year for each of my ND DC).

I group things together, I optimise "dead time" (e.g. waiting during the medical appointments), I have severely decluttered our house and I rarely buy new things except food and toiletries (thus cutting down on shopping time, finding places to store new things etc).

But my to do list is still long.

Yes. oh man. Passport renewal, driving license renewal, insurance renewals, car shit...etc. endless endless things for school. I have not started any christmas shopping.

But a wise person told me that when your life gets crazy that is the time when you most need to prioritise time for yourself and fiercely ring fence it. I go to the gym without fail twice a week after school drop off and often I think, "gees I should really be unloading the dishwasher right now / cleaning the bathroom / doing overtime at work etc" but then I push that from my mind and just get my exercise done, and I feel so much better when I do, and I come home feeling ready to tackle life with renewed enthusiasm, having had some time out for myself first. I will always put myself near the top of my to-do list!!

This 100% plus a 3 hour commute. Agggrr!