Worried about cancer constantly

[elfqueen23]

I don't know if it's because I've had the trauma of watching three close relatives die from cancer, but I worry about it all the time.

Any ache or pain and I start googling and everything always comes back to cancer. I've had piles for years, checked by a doctor and even had a colonoscopy about 5 years ago. But even now, whenever they flare up or cause any issues I start panicking about bowel/anal cancer. I've had some soreness over the last few weeks and I know the worry of it is going to spoil Christmas for me.

It's just everywhere. On tv all the time. Affecting people that I know and their families. Constant reminders that one in two of us will get it. I think back to my poor dad who got told that he had weeks to live and I can't imagine how it must feel to actually get that news.

I know there's no point worrying. None of us live forever. But I mostly worry about dying young and leaving my dc behind because there is literally nobody else to care for them. I don't lead the best lifestyle. Probably drink too much, don't get enough veg and never get the chance to exercise. But I'm going to work on all of this in the new year.

Is it just me who is like this? I know people will say it's health anxiety and it probably is to an extent but also cancer is very real and very common so it's not completely irrational. I'm 39.

Not just you. Someone close to me was taken by cancer.

I can relate to some of the things you have said 100pc.

This is me and skin cancer. Everything is a melanoma. Because literally any little blemish could be a melanoma and how are you supposed to know and keep track of it all??

Also. I feel for breast lumps but I have no idea what I’m actually supposed to be looking for.

No one knows what’s ahead of us and all we can do is take the precautions that we can. The best thing you can do for your health is stop drinking alcoho & maintain a healthy weight.

As soon as you start to think about it you have to shift your focus to think about something else. Something positive. Keep doing that and at some point it will happen automatically that your thought shifts. You have to train your brain not to go there.

It’s not just you. It doesnt help when the people you know who went to the drs with symptoms that for most people would then turn to be nothing major, actually did have it and then died.

Yes I'm only 39 but I know two people who I went to school with who have had it (and survived thankfully) but I suppose as we get older it will become more common amongst peers.

I get obsessive over statistics. As I said my current worry is anal cancer and I've been googling the rates of cases in uk then trying to work out what that puts my chances at. It's insane behaviour but I just can't stop worrying about it.

Honestly, don’t waste your life with worry about what ifs…..time enough to worry if it happens…..I’ve had primary cancer 3 times….last time almost 5 years ago…..I feel’lucky’ that all 3 were caught early and treated with curative intent……some days I don’t think about cancer at all……I did cbt….some of it wasn’t for me…..but what I did take from it was to have a certain time of day for around 15 minutes ‘worry time’ when I could think about cancer as much as I wanted……then back to living life ……and this is what I do….works for me

Stop drinking for a start, put your focus onto yourself rather than reading what's in the news/stats etc. Stop reading the news too.

Not just you I'm terrified also. Doesn't help that my sister died of cancer a few years ago and it came completely out the blue with no symptoms.

It’s one of those things that is totally understandable and I think most of us have these concerns, however if it is consuming you and effecting your life I would recommend seeking therapy. Health anxiety can be successfully treated. There’s a difference between ‘normal’ worry and ruminative cycles that cause you distress and feel out of control.

All worry does is ruin the happiness of the present for a future that may never happen, and even if does, worrying now won’t change anything.

1 in 2 of us will get cancer does not mean 1 out of 2 39 year olds! Most people who get it are elderly and most people who get it at a young age are successfully treated. Those who actually die young from cancer are nothing like 1 in 2.

While it is a real and serious risk, it doesn’t sound like you are being rational about it at all. I would talk to a doctor about managing your anxiety.

It is health anxiety. None of that is normal or healthy.

Lumps, changes in skin texture or colour, inverted ripples (if this is not normal for you)

I feel like this too. I had breast cancer that didn't show up in scans. I'm fine now but any twinge or anything out of the ordinary feels like a cancer symptom to me. I feel like I'm just waiting to for the next thing to come along that will kill me.

I had a weird chest pain last night. I think it was probably scar tissue pain from my cancer surgery. But I became convinced it was my heart and I would die in the night. I'm jealous of DH who would get the same pain and think nothing of it while I'm picturing my funeral and saying goodbye to my DC.

I've had CBT. It was awful and didn't help at all. The only thing that has helped a bit was EDMR because I think the health anxiety it actually based in PTSD for me. But I feel like I've tried everything to get free from and it and while some things help it never goes. It doesn't help that I have what feels like constant cancer check ups and all sorts of weird health issues that the doctors can't explain.

I could’ve written this post. You are so not alone. I hate it though, it’s fucking awful and exhausting!

I'm the same. If I was a billionaire I'd be checked and scanned for everything a few times a year.

I completely understand. My mum was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer last year, they said she had a couple of years. She died two weeks later. Since then, I’m hyper aware of every little ache, pain and niggle. I almost had a heart attack when I found a lump on the side of my boob back in the summer, it was just a bug bite but the gripping fear I felt before I realised what it was was terrifying.

I in part blame social media / social media algorithms for this.

I am constantly fed content about people having cancer. Non stop. People I don’t know.

Then of course of social networks it’s friends of friends of friends of etc.

When I was pregnant it was all content about negative outcomes too. I currently am advertised for sands charity content all the time.

It’s relentless negativity and health anxiety fodder.

I had cancer in 2016. I had treatment, including mastectomy. I get checked regularly. I’m really not the least concerned about it any more, despite having a kidney tumour under observation.
Please, just live your life.

You do not need to be a billionaire.
Every 5-10 years is fine for most things. Doing every scan privately all added up would be about £3-4k which is not much, works out a few hundred per year if divided up.

I'm so sorry you are caught in the worry trap. My DM is the same and it is exhausting for all of us and miserable for her. She's reached 84yrs cancer free despite her fears.
Please for your and your family sake find a positive focus for yourself. An outdoor hobby, weightlifting, crafting whatever. Make your days busy and satisfying.
Your life is your gift to be lived to the full, however it may turn out, and I hope that you can find peace.

I agree, it is PTSD. I’m still traumatised by my treatment. The treatment left me with horrible after effects which will not improve any further and which are a constant reminder of the painful and distressing time I went through.

@elfqueen23 I don’t think it’s remotely irrational, it’s actually really common now . Also all the people I know who’ve had or died from this horrible disease have all been completely healthy, non drinkers, non smokers , a couple of them actually vegan for most of their lives as their parents were too.
Of course living healthily is one of the ways to mitigate risks but honestly the longer I’m on this earth the more I see things are just providence/fate and bad luck 🤷‍♀️ I think we control basically very little tbh . Of course any change , any lumps need to be checked out straight away as early detection can help obviously. I hear you though , I often see it as when not if now . It actually puts things into perspective though as I’m worried about my job as I’m on fixed term and now I think more “if we have enough to eat and can look after our children we’ll, that’s the key thing “ I could find out next week I’m dying and my job would be the last thing I’d think of.

I used to then DH was diagnosed with a rare aggressive cancer and I realised that all the worry in the world wouldn't change a thing. Now I barely think about cancer.

Came on here to suggest 'worry time' too x