Worried about cancer constantly

[elfqueen23]

I don't know if it's because I've had the trauma of watching three close relatives die from cancer, but I worry about it all the time.

Any ache or pain and I start googling and everything always comes back to cancer. I've had piles for years, checked by a doctor and even had a colonoscopy about 5 years ago. But even now, whenever they flare up or cause any issues I start panicking about bowel/anal cancer. I've had some soreness over the last few weeks and I know the worry of it is going to spoil Christmas for me.

It's just everywhere. On tv all the time. Affecting people that I know and their families. Constant reminders that one in two of us will get it. I think back to my poor dad who got told that he had weeks to live and I can't imagine how it must feel to actually get that news.

I know there's no point worrying. None of us live forever. But I mostly worry about dying young and leaving my dc behind because there is literally nobody else to care for them. I don't lead the best lifestyle. Probably drink too much, don't get enough veg and never get the chance to exercise. But I'm going to work on all of this in the new year.

Is it just me who is like this? I know people will say it's health anxiety and it probably is to an extent but also cancer is very real and very common so it's not completely irrational. I'm 39.

Snap! I also have piles and know if I wipe and see a little blood iny poo I'll panic even though they flare up, I'm sometimes constipated & it was sore passing etc. I also have had breast cysts so I do have lumps and bumps & I know I'll panic when I feel. I have had random skin tags, warts etc etc. Sometimes I check and panic, sometimes I go weeks/months trying not to look or check anything cause it will trigger major anxiety. I did get CBT which was helpful. We are constantly bombarded with cancer news and told to 'catch it early'. It is exhausting.

I get it . I think it's because you cannot open a newspaper: magazine without a cancer story . This makes it seem like cancer is so common yet in real life I've only known 2 people have it , one died many years ago and my friends half sister just diagnosed .

I could have written this a while back . 2 loved ones died of it within a year, I had a couple of health scares myself

Low dose sertraline and counselling has helped

Plus exercise , cos feel good endorphins innit

Illness and death are inevitable. You might get run over by a bus tomorrow.

Plan for it. Make a will, work out your finances, think about how your DC will be looked after whether that be temporarily with an illness or permanently if you die. Buy a funeral plan if you want that security. I'm currently going through my house and getting rid of unnecessary crap so I can live life lighter.

We are naturally scared of the unknown. So make as much as possible known and get on with your life.

I don't think it helps that when I have sought help (and let's face it, going to get your bum checked is horrible and embarrassing) I've basically been fobbed off with suppositories and cream. And when I've broached the topic of cancer I just get told 'you're too young' but all the stats and news do point to the fact that it's becoming more common in younger people too.

That area of my body is such a mess with skin tags and itching and occasional pain that I don't even know what's normal for me anymore and I don't understand how doctors can tell the difference between a pile/skin tag and a cancerous lesion by having a quick glance. I just don't have a lot of faith.

But I agree, worrying won't solve anything. I wish I could retrain my brain. Tried CBT once before for anxiety and it did nothing for me.

You can't help how you feel. With me its the fear of losing more people to cancer. I fear the mourning and grief more than anything.

Was it proper CBT though? CBT for health anxiety is very effective.

Could of written this post

I experienced health anxiety for the first time as a teen .

it then went away until my husband was diagnosed with a very rare form
of appendix cancer in 2021

thankfully he has recovered but cancer always looms in the background as he has yearly ct scans to check for recurrence which cause a lot of anxiety

I also have health anxiety with a twist , I hate going to the doctors and will avoid it if I can , most people with health anxiety go the doctors a lot .

cancer does feel like it's everywhere. Social media doesn't help and I have to be very selective with what I read / watch

CBT teaches you techniques you have to go on and use. And doctors can tell what’s definitely not cancer because of their years of training and experience.

I had CBT for health anxiety that tried to convince me I didn't have breast cancer because the doctors said I didn't and I'd had a clear mammogram. It didn't work. I went back for another check and got diagnosed with breast cancer. If I had believed what the CBT was trying to convince me of I would be dead now.

Doctors don't always get it right. They can't always tell if something is cancer or not. And sometimes even scans don't pick it up. This is the fear I live with every day.

And that's not even an isolated incident. Multiple things have happened with my DC where doctors have said that they're fine, I had to push and push and it turned out they weren't fine, the doctors were wrong and my anxiety was right!

So now it feels more rational to believe my anxiety than a doctor. I don't know how I can change that but it's absolutely horrible to have to live with every day.

I was about to write my own post on this and am the same age and have a family member who went through colon cancer earlier this year (luckily is doing ok now).
I'm terrified about turning 40 as I know the likelihood of cancer goes up. I hear you completely.

Diagnosed with Non Hodgkins Lymphoma at 38, surgery and chemo followed. Last year at the age of 50 after 12 years in remission, I was diagnosed with the same cancer, a relapse which is apparently incredibly rare. NHL back. Floored but buckled up with my family and underwent chemo again. My oncologist said if it was 90% likely the cancer would return unless I had a Stem Cell Transplant - basically a Bone marrow transplant. It was a no brainier. I had that in April. Recovery takes up to a year. It's an incredibly tough procedure with side effects that can occur years later - heart disease, other cancers, diabetes, glaucoma... I will live with the effects of the illness /treatment for life and the chance of long term side effects. However, I am cancer free, in recovery from the sct and i am determined to live my life to the full and not worry. I am incredibly grateful to be well. Hopefully the sct will do the trick but what's point of worrying? Life is for living.

Medical gaslighting is a very real problem and it affects women more than men, so much of our pain and discomfort is explained away as ‘anxiety’ which is incredibly unhelpful. There also needs to be clearer referral pathways and early recognition and prevention, as so many people’s symptoms are being missed and cancers that could have been treated if caught earlier are being found at an advanced stage. I hope you are well now.

CBT for health anxiety is not about convincing a person they don’t have an illness. It is about managing the anxiety and worry around this, and developing healthy coping strategies - which includes attending health appointments and seeking medical advice if needed. There is just nuance around what is helpful help-seeking (!) and what is serving to fuel the anxiety and worry. I used to specifically work with people who had cancer, and had health anxiety as a result of this - my job wasn’t to convince them they would never have a recurrence, but to support them to live the best life they could whilst accepting the uncertainty of possible recurrence. I’m sorry you did not have a positive experience.

You are not alone. It often consumes my every waking though. I watched my 43 year old ex husband die of bowel cancer this year and it terrified me. My daughter now has no father. To make matters even worse, I lost my own dad to stomach cancer when he was 35.
Now a colleague of mine has been told she has 18 months left, again bowel cancer and aged 44.
I can't shake the feeling that it's coming for me. I genuinely feel like my days are numbered and I'm 41...

Agreed . Health anxiety is real . No matter the ailment all google roads lead to cancer . I don’t think the Daily Mail goes a day without a story of some poor soul dying of cancer following misdiagnosis .

You have health anxiety. Please join a group or do some reading on this form of OCD. You’re like thousands of people . I have had HA for 25 years which is very well managed now but there wer periods of utter desperation.

One of reasons for more cancer is people living longer and not dying from.heart failure traumatic accidents and infectious disease.