AIBU to think that some people automatically age and look a good bit older when they hit 30

[ZaraV]

I feel a lot of people lose their youthfulness around that age. It’s like one month they look late teens early twenties then as if a switch is flicked they look close to 30. I have this friend who when she was 27 could easily pass for someone who’s 19 or even younger but now she looks much older 5 years later. She looks maybe about 27 at youngest but you wouldn’t look at her and think she’s a teen. It’s sad it almost looks as if she’s let herself go which she hasn’t. Her makeup doesn’t sit the same either

I'm 31 and this is me. I did have 3 kids between 21 and 26 though so I feel like it's not a surprise to me 😆

I've been eating lots of berries, taking lots of omega 3, and got some really good skincare products that actually suit my skin, and I look way better than I have in a couple of years tbf.

Yeah I thought that too. She’s mentioned that she feels she’s aged with the stress of what she’s been through the past 5 years. She also has kids

I thought this recently.

A good friend just turned 40. I haven’t seen her in a few months, but knew she was loosing weight. We normally meet up to walk the dogs- both in appropriate attire, hair scraped back, absolutely no fuss paid to appearance, usually covered in mud and it’s pouring with rain.

She posted some birthday pics and I had to double take. She was wearing an older top that I recognised from 15 years ago. Honestly at first glance I thought the photos were from our twenties.

She looks absolutely incredible! Her skin is perfect and she’s not got any lines or wrinkles at all! She just looked absolutely phenomenal (and no I don’t think she doctored the pics at all, that’s just not her).

She is of Chinese heritage if it makes any difference. Doesn’t drink, hasn’t smoked since her teens. Her skin is absolutely flawless.

Sadly there is no way anyone is mistaking a recent picture of me for one taken 15 years ago!

I have this friend who when she was 27 could easily pass for someone who’s 19 or even younger but now she looks much older 5 years later. She looks maybe about 27 at youngest but you wouldn’t look at her and think she’s a teen.

Why would you expect a 32 year old to 'look like a teen'? what an odd thing to say. Ageing is a privilege and not something everyone gets to experience, so I think it's incredibly sad that some women seem to want to stay looking as young as possible by having botox/filler (which, 99% of the time, actually makes them look older than their biological age), and start to panic/are judged if they don't look like a teen in their early 30s?! Bizarre behaviour.

It’s not ‘sad’ for a 32 year old woman to no longer look like a teenager. And saying ‘it looks like she’s let herself go’ is not a neutral observation. People need to get a grip.

Why is it sad that a 30 year old doesn’t look like a teen?

I would say it happens much older than 30 - I looked youthful until I was about 40 then suddenly looked haggard.

I’m not sure whether it was having a baby at 38 that aged me, or the pandemic, but at 45 I look about 20 years older than I did at 35 (obviously I still looked over 30, but I looked bright eyed and bushy tailed then, and now i definitely don’t).

Didn't look much older than 26 at 30.im 44 now and look older but no noticeable lines

I think rapid aging tends to coincide with having kids!

I agree. People plateu for years, then suddenly plunge into agedness! Skincare helps but not as much as genetics, a happy (stress free) life, a good diet and exercise. Oh, and sleep. Kids age people.

Why should she look like a teen when she's in her thirties, though?

And why is it sad that thirty-something woman doesn't look like a child?

Really? I'm 40 with no grey hair or fine lines around my eyes! Definitely didn't at 25

It's not sad that a 32 year old doesn't look like a teen. It is in fact normal. Why is aging bad exactly? It will happen to you too op if you're lucky

My Chinese friend is 50+ and like this
Flawless and not a line or wrinkle in sight. The woman looks fabulous 👌🏾.

For me this definitely coincided with the arrival of DC1. However I also suddenly looked 10 years younger when I left an unhappy marriage - it can work both ways.

I’ve noticed friends ageing and then “recovering” for less dramatic reasons (minor health issues, family worries). People I know well enough to be sure they haven’t had any work done.

I'm 33 and people regularly think I'm a teen/early 20s. I'm small tho, short and petite figure and no lines yet - so that's probably why.

I know people who look middle aged in their 20s so I don't think there's anything magically aging about hitting 30. All my friends in their 30s are in shape and look fairly young still

PS - edit to add that people sometimes ask me if I'm Chinese (I'm not, I'm British) because I have a face shape like that, so interesting to see other posters say the people they know who look really young are Chinese

Some people is doing some heavy lifting here. Some people (most I'd suggest) look no different. Why should 30 or any age be a magic cut off?

Sad that a 30 yo no longer looks like a teen?

I too had this ‘it won’t happen to me mentality’ in my early 20s, almost judging ppl for showing natural signs of aging.

You’re in for a shock!!

Why is it sad?

getting older is a luxury that isn’t afforded to us all.

get some perspective.

OP...
First why the hell do you care? Do you examine your and your friends' faces obsessively for signs of aging and compare them all the time? If so... why? Isn't that pointless and boring and playing into the hands of a misogynistic culture that wants us all to be insecure about ourselves?

And what's so special about looking young anyway? Sure, it is an advantage in terms of dating, although only really initially. After that first connection, other things start to count more (except for partners who are imcredibly shallow and who will end up ditching women longer-term anyway once some sort of age signs do appear).

Everyone ends up aging. There is nothing wrong or noteworthy about this. Also: there is no pattern involving suddenly ageing a lot around 30, I suspect. Individuals age at different rates at different times depending on genetics, hormones, life experiences etc.

There was an article in the Mail online over the weekend. People are divided into three types of face aging. Those that wrinkle, sinkers or saggers! I personally don’t have any wrinkles (mid 40s) but I still look my age as a ‘sagger’!

Who cares? This thread reeks of insecurity and low self esteem.

Just what I was about to say.

Not 30, no. But 40 is the age at which a more apparent aging can start to happen. It's mainly caused by perimenopause, and life stresses at that age. By late 40s everyone is very obviously middle-aged looking unless you have amazing genes, a relatively stress free life with lots of time to devote to yourself, and a late perimenopause, I think.

There was a study about how at a certain age (44 and 60) you age rapidly. Sadly this is true for me. Got a hernia and glasses at 44 and skin got dryer, hair is falling. This would have bothered me immensely at 30 but I don't care that much at 44 except when my back is hurting...