How to ask whether DD has been invites to the party?

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A school mum's just sent a message inviting DD to her DDs party. The only thing is I wonder whether she meant to send it to me. Her DD is in the other class, coincidentally DD's name was on the other class list at the start of the year though they aren't actually in the same class. We've never had a playdate in the past. Her child is really lovely and our kids occasionally play together at school but it's not like they are best mates. Any advice on how best to phrase it to check whether she actually meant to send the message to me or not? Please help...

Well I wouldn't check really

If someone's invited my child to their party I'd take my child!

Yeah but for some reason I think they invited her as part of inviting all the girls in the class....from the class list. It wasn't a personal invite just a message to say 'Hi, 'Sara' would like yo invite you to her party'. Classes were mixed up over the summer so people are still unclear about who is where.but fair enough maybe am over thinking it.

Can you strike up a conversation with her in playground and get guidance from that?

Is there a child with your DDs name in the other class?

I'd still just accept it for what it is!

IS answering the message sort of on the lines of what you wrote above that maybe it's a mistake not an option? How will that offend?

Just say thank you we'd love to and go to the party.

Does your kid want to go?

And yes there is a child in the other class with the same name but actually those parents know each other really well so that wouldn't be it. The mum doesn't know me i.e. I walk pass her all the time but she doesn't know who I am.

My kids are in a 2 form entry school and people often invite kids from both classes. I really wouldn't overthink it

Hi, i received an invitation for DD for X's party, I'm just double checking it was intended for her as there was a mix up with class lists at the beginning of the year. Thanks

Either she says yes of course it's for her, or no sorry that was an error. Or possibly no sorry that wasn't my intention but she is more than welcome to join. It's not a big deal OP, these things happen all the time. Just make sure DD is able to go otherwise it will look strange if you clarify and then turn it down

why not reply saying "how lovely, little Bob will be thrilled - is there anything Jim would particularly like as a gift?" then other Mum will confirm even if invite wasn't initially meant for you!

Thanks everyone. I probably am overthinking it. But for some reason it just seemed like an odd invite

Would you though?
I think if I was the other mum, I’d suck up my mistake and not say anything so as to not hurt feelings.

Yes that’s what I mean. OP gets confirmation that way and child isn’t turning up unannounced.

Just say: “Betty would love to come, but just checking it’s Betty Smith you meant to invite? 😃”

Hi. Thanks for the party invitation. I'm sure X would love to come! However, just before I mention it to her, I wanted to check that the invitation was actually meant for her, as there has been some confusion with her and another child before. Absolutely no problem either way!

I probably am overthinking it and the other girl is lovely. But I also wouldn't want DD to show up as the only kid invited from the wrong class.

Maybe your DD and hers play together at break times? My DD has loads of people in the other class that she would invite or be invited to parties even though they're not in the same class.

Then thing is that while DD thinks the birthday girl is nice they ha e very different friendship groups. Which makes me think that it's an all girl party from the other class and the mum just assumes DD is part of that class. They are all in year 4 so have fairly established groups by now.

Ask!

I see your concern about it being a mistake and I would probably want to double check in your position.
There’s no ideal way to ask so along the lines of “thanks for the party invitation. As the class lists got mixed up over the summer and Sophie and Lila aren’t usually in the same close friendship group, I just wanted to check that the invitation for Lila was intentional? If so then she’d love to come but no worries if it was just meant to be for Sophie’s class, totally understand!” Or something- it’s awkward!

If they're in year 4 yes I would double check otherwise might be a bit awkward for the girls at that age if they're not really friends

It's an odd mistake to make in Year 4. Generally the party girl will be fully cognisant of who is in her class and who she wants at her party. It's not like they are all 5 and can't remember anyone's name.

I'd send something like this

So in general we were obviously past large group parties bit because classes got mixed a few parents have gone back to doing all girl or all boy parties to get the kids to gel a bit as a group which has obviously been lovely. Ah so awkward.....