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Original poster

To keep my toddler off with chickenpox going round nursery- 38 weeks pregnant

104 replies

trees146 · 03/12/2024 11:10

I'm 38 weeks pregnant. Due to be induced in 12 days. Been informed that chicken pox is going round my toddlers nursery who's never had it before. 5 children in his class. I just don't know what to do for the best. People are looking at me like I have 2 heads at the mere mention of keeping him off. I get he might have already been exposed to it and get it regardless. But when you google chicken pox newborn baby the most awful stuff comes up. Basically if baby catches it as a newborn it sounds horrifically dangerous. I'm so upset and don't know what to do for the best. Filled with guilt as toddler will also be so upset he'll miss his Christmas nativity, pantomime and party etc...

God I genuinely feel like I can't cope anymore I am worried sick. My midwife is rubbish and won't even get back to me, she never does. What would you do in my situation?

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 03/12/2024 14:56

Ifitistobesaid · 03/12/2024 11:13

Thing is it can take a long time for the symptoms to appear if they’ve caught it. It can take up to three weeks from exposure for the spots to appear so that’s a long time to keep them home. Can you get them vaccinated? Might not be too late for that?

I was going to say this. It might be too late.

Edit: too late to just keep them off. It could be too late to vaccinate too if she's already incubating it.

Itissunnysomewhere · 03/12/2024 15:00

I'd keep him off, my daughter was pretty poorly when she got it at 3 months old. Agree it would be worth looking into vaccination. Also worth mentioning to your doctor/midwife

catndogslife · 03/12/2024 15:02

Have you had chicken pox OP?
If you have had it and will be breastfeeding your newborn will have antibodies from you.
If you have not had it then I would contact your GP asap.

notatinydancer · 03/12/2024 15:03

Bogginsthe3rd · 03/12/2024 12:30

Why isn't toddler vaccinated ?

It's private £150. They can't afford it.

TheCraicDealer · 03/12/2024 15:06

DD, 3yo at the time, developed spots when DS was a week old. CP had done the rounds of her nursery room several times previously and she'd escaped, but of course Sod's Law, she caught it when I'd just given birth.

I told the midwife and she was intensely relaxed about it- she said when they're that young, assuming mum has had CP herself, baby carries some immunity which means they're unlikely to catch it and even if they do it tends to be a very mild case.

Despite DD having zero concept of personal space when it came to her little brother DS didn't get it. He was also formula fed so he wasn't even getting any immunity boost from BM.

If DC is generally pretty robust/not immunocompromised, you've had CP and you have a good support network around you (eg., involved partner and/or grandparents who DC is happy with and can help with nursing if CP symptoms do start) I would continue to send them to nursery on the basis that they've likely already been exposed, and if they get it they get it. But if you've not had it yourself or it's genuinely causing you masses of anxiety then I would agree it's sensible to reduce the risk if you can, even if it's only a small reduction.

notatinydancer · 03/12/2024 15:09

MumonabikeE5 · 03/12/2024 13:13

Do the vaccination. If pox is in your local area it will be there for weeks and weeks.

She can't afford it £150

notatinydancer · 03/12/2024 15:10

Why do people KEEP telling OP to get her child vaccinated? She's explained she is on SMP and can't afford it.

OverCCCs · 03/12/2024 15:30

trees146 · 03/12/2024 12:28

Thanks everyone. I'm going to keep him off. Looked at boots and Superdrug for the vaccine and says might not help but it might do... it's also £150 for the course and with Christmas I literally haven't the spare money- and no one I can ask. On SMP and this doesn't leave anything spare, in fact we're already in a deficit. Have consulted doctors but doubt they will give it him.

I feel so guilty like an awful parent. What a time to get it, I wouldn't be bothered any other time if it wasn't for the baby ☹️ so worried he may not even get spots until after baby's here and then my newborn may get it and be seriously ill. Feel so depressed about the whole thing 😭

I've asked my mum and she said we definitely all had it as children. I hope that's the case or that's a whole other world of problems. My anxiety is the through the roof. Thanks everyone for replies x

Return everything you can and use the money to get toddler vaccinated. There is no scenario in the world where I would prioritise giving a toddler (or anyone!) presents if it was at the expense of keeping a newborn healthy and safer from a potentially very critical illness.

Original poster
trees146 · 03/12/2024 15:32

Thanks everyone, decided to keep him at home. He's probably already been exposed but if it limits the risk just a bit then we'll just do it.

Just to clear up the chicken pox vaccine- I honestly didn't even know there was a vaccine for it, feel so guilty I didn't know 😢 right now (ie today) I don't have £150 to spend on it unfortunately.. just one of those things ☹️ I lost my job prior to getting pregnant and my new job only provides SMP rather than occupational pay too...

If it was a guarantee that vaccinating after exposure had a positive effect I'd probably find a way to pay for it but from what I've read it's controversial that it had any effect and even if it does it must be within 3 days of exposure. Which, if these children have already got spots it's very likely that my DS was exposed more than 3 days ago I suppose? 😖

I'm just so worried about new baby getting it. My mum says I definitely had it as a child so I'm just trusting that I did and that all will be fine in that case? I so hope so 😩 I wasn't planning on BF'ing this time, with my toddler I suffered really bad pnd and it was a disaster and tanked my mental health. So I'd decided to formula feed from day one this time. But with this news I feel like I'll have to at least have a go, I'll feel too guilty if he gets it and I could've potentially helped him out with more antibodies 😖

From what I've read online babies are really poorly if they get it from newborn that's what is scaring me so much... but then other sources say he'll be born with natural immunity as I've had it. It's all just really contradicting and worrying 😩 thanks for sharing your advice and experiences they're really helping me make sense of it all! X

OP posts:
Sunseeker83 · 03/12/2024 15:38

Honestly OP don't let some of these people panic you. I am very pro the chicken pox vaccine, but only if you can afford it and not at the expense of other necessities and that includes Christmas for your family.

Just remember the nhs does provide it to people who are immunocompromised (parents/siblings with cancer etc) If the risk to a newborn was so great they would be providing it. The gp will be able to advise if they think it's clinically necessary otherwise your natural immunity should help.

Sunseeker83 · 03/12/2024 15:40

Your midwife can do a quick blood test to check your immunity if you are unsure

Ossoduro2 · 03/12/2024 15:41

I would keep him off and get him vaccinated. Also, if you’ve had chicken pox I think the newborn will carry a level of immunity for a period of time - I don’t know the details but I’m sure this is a thing.

FranticFrankie · 03/12/2024 16:21

Your baby will have some protection from you as you have said, your mum is certain you’ve had CP. You will pass on those antibodies to baby.
The blood test is usually offered if women are either unsure whether they’ve had it or are certain they haven’t.
Good luck OP

Bogginsthe3rd · 03/12/2024 16:30

The advantages of the chicken pox vaccine, as well as preventing chicken pox, it reduces the severity to a few spots, if a child does get it. Later on in life, it protects from shingles. Worth saving up for. Hopefully it will become part of standard immunisation in the UK as it is in Australia.

Happiestwhen · 03/12/2024 16:35

I was you this time 2 years ago. It is so stressful but unfortunately there is nothing you can do. My dc3 got chicken pox at 2 weeks old having been told my midwives that he would be immune through my antibodies. Wasnt true. Your little one has probably picked it up by now but won't show signs for at least 2 weeks. Unless your baby is seriously ill they should be absolutely fine. If mine didn't have the spots we'd never have known. Take care.

BootballJoy · 03/12/2024 16:36

When my youngest was a newborn my eldest came down with terrible chickenpox. We tried our best to keep them apart and I've had it and was breastfeeding - the baby did not catch it and was fine. Crossing fingers for you.

EmotionalSupportPotato · 03/12/2024 16:39

Do whatever you want and fuck everyone else.

Bogginsthe3rd · 03/12/2024 16:41

EmotionalSupportPotato · 03/12/2024 16:39

Do whatever you want and fuck everyone else.

I didn't know you were a Liz Truss supporter

kiwiane · 03/12/2024 16:52

You can have one jab for £75 to give protection now - if you have family then why not ask if they’d sub you?

EmotionalSupportPotato · 03/12/2024 16:52

Bogginsthe3rd · 03/12/2024 16:41

I didn't know you were a Liz Truss supporter

Show quote history

In relation to chickenpox and pregnancy I mean

GridlockonMain · 03/12/2024 16:57

OP please don’t panic, and don’t feel you need to do anything which compromises your own health. I think keeping him off is a sensible precaution but honestly everything will most likely be completely fine. Your baby will have some natural immunity from you whether or not you breastfeed, and your son might not even have it.

If your son does get it, speak to your midwife or GP about whether there is anything you need to do to minimise risk but please don’t feel guilty or excessively anxious. You’re doing all the right things and you will get good advice from the NHS if you do end up in a situation where your toddler has it. All will be ok in the end ❤️

CandyCatsHat · 03/12/2024 22:08

Not a bad call to keep him off anyway. Chickenpox won't be the only thing going around nursery. Congratulations OP.

Original poster
trees146 · 06/12/2024 10:04

He got it this morning if anyone is wondering! Woke up covered! Hoping it's over with before baby is here but we shall see...

OP posts:
Happiestwhen · 06/12/2024 10:08

Oh that's good OP, the fact that he has got it before baby has arrived is a very good thing!

SharpOpalNewt · 06/12/2024 10:08

I was going to get mine vaccinated if they had not had it by the age of two or three. Both had it mildly aged 18 months and two. Thank goodness - I had it very badly aged 7 and was hospitalised with sepsis. Was in hospital for two weeks (touch and go whether I'd live at the start) and it took months to get better.