Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep my toddler off with chickenpox going round nursery- 38 weeks pregnant

104 replies

trees146 · 03/12/2024 11:10

I'm 38 weeks pregnant. Due to be induced in 12 days. Been informed that chicken pox is going round my toddlers nursery who's never had it before. 5 children in his class. I just don't know what to do for the best. People are looking at me like I have 2 heads at the mere mention of keeping him off. I get he might have already been exposed to it and get it regardless. But when you google chicken pox newborn baby the most awful stuff comes up. Basically if baby catches it as a newborn it sounds horrifically dangerous. I'm so upset and don't know what to do for the best. Filled with guilt as toddler will also be so upset he'll miss his Christmas nativity, pantomime and party etc...

God I genuinely feel like I can't cope anymore I am worried sick. My midwife is rubbish and won't even get back to me, she never does. What would you do in my situation?

OP posts:
Chocolaterocketcake · 03/12/2024 12:54

I’d keep him off…I had my eldest dc vaccinated while I was in my third trimester for exactly this reason, just not worth the risk to baby.

MabelMaybe · 03/12/2024 12:56

Look at how muc hte vaccination costs before going down that route. You need two doses and it's £££, especially if you're currently on / about to go on maternity leave.

youngoldthing · 03/12/2024 12:57

Bogginsthe3rd · 03/12/2024 12:37

Yes but it's really something everyone should get.

Show quote history

Yes buts it’s really something not everyone can afford.

surely that’s obvious!

mummyh2016 · 03/12/2024 12:57

I completely get why you would want to keep him off however realistically when are you going to send him back? Your baby will be newborn for 6 weeks, you're only 38 weeks now so we're talking potentially 10 weeks of no nursery. Nursery may not hold the place open for that long.

mummyh2016 · 03/12/2024 12:59

Btw my DD got CP when my DS was 3 months old so granted not a new born but still a baby. He never caught it from her despite her being all over him whilst poorly.

Babaa · 03/12/2024 12:59

Incognitoburrito88 · 03/12/2024 12:28

I don’t think there’s any point in keeping him off - he’s already been exposed and he will miss all his Christmas stuff. Have you had it? If so the baby will be born with passive immunity which if you breastfeed will continue. If your son does get it don’t let him touch the baby until his spots are crusted over and be vigilant about hand washing. If you haven’t had it this is a much bigger issue and probably worth discussing with your midwife. It’s too late to vaccinate him now as he’s already been exposed.

I agree with this. He's likely to have already been exposed to chicken pox and may slowly develop symptoms. I don't see a point in the chicken pox vaccine as he's already been exposed. It's also expensive as it's not an NHS routine vaccine. I didn't even know there was a vaccine for it until recently.

Keep him in Nursery as he might develop chicken pox and recover by the time the baby is born.

notarunner · 03/12/2024 13:02

My DD had chickenpox when I was 38 weeks pregnant.

Maybe someone can confirm but they must test you for immunity at some point because the hospital checked my medical records and confirmed that I'd already had chicken pox and weren't worried. Baby was absolutely fine.

Verite1 · 03/12/2024 13:06

You can still get the vaccine after exposure. It can still be effective and/or lessen the severity. Plus he may not be incubating the virus yet - chicken pox went round my DD’s nursery and she didn’t get it. We then got the vaccine quickly.

I would keep him off after the vaccine until Xmas activities. Presumably they are in the last week so a couple of weeks away? That will give vaccine time to kick in (even if not fully effective).

DazedAndConfused321 · 03/12/2024 13:08

Bogginsthe3rd · 03/12/2024 12:37

Yes but it's really something everyone should get.

Show quote history

Aw are you offering to pay then? How kind.

Bitsrestingface · 03/12/2024 13:12

One of mine had it at 7 weeks and he got five spots only, his two year old brother was covered.

FranticFrankie · 03/12/2024 13:12

OP, If you’ve had CP, baby will have some protection via antibodies.
I understand it’s a difficult and stressful time for you and frustrating when your health professionals don’t respond.
Best wishes

MumonabikeE5 · 03/12/2024 13:13

Do the vaccination. If pox is in your local area it will be there for weeks and weeks.

Dodgyshoulder · 03/12/2024 13:16

My DD had chicken pox when her little brother was 2 weeks old. I took her to the doctors because I wasn’t sure what it was and the dr asked me if I was breastfeeding and if I had chicken pox when I was younger. I was and did. He never caught it, even though, the day before they had lots of cuddles. He’s 21 months now and still has never had it. Oh and she gave it to her step brother, but baby was fine. That being said, I would keep him off of nursery.

Nanny0gg · 03/12/2024 13:19

Keep him off

Make the last little while special for the both of you before his sibling arrives.

Gogogo12345 · 03/12/2024 13:24

Bogginsthe3rd · 03/12/2024 12:30

Why isn't toddler vaccinated ?

Don't get chicken pox vax on the NHS

AntiHop · 03/12/2024 13:34

It might be too close to birth for vaccination. I remember that you're supposed to stay away from newborns for a certain period. But I can't remember how long. Some independent pharmacies offer it.

And yes, I'd keep him off.

GridlockonMain · 03/12/2024 13:49

It’s not routine (which is mad in my opinion!) so you have to pay privately and it is expensive, which is shit. I think it is now going to be added as a standard childhood vaccination but hasn’t yet.

Don’t worry if you can’t pay for it right now. Put money aside for a few months until you can and in the meantime keep him away from the baby if he has symptoms. It will be tough but this will pass ❤️

Sunseeker83 · 03/12/2024 13:54

Assuming you have already had chicken pox yourself then the baby will likely have temporary immunity through you. I think the length of that immunity can be increased through breastfeeding (no suggestion you should do this just fyi). I know a few people who have been in this situation, the toddler had chicken pox, and none of the babies got it. it's relatively common as lots of people have toddlers in childcare when they have a newborn baby.

However if you haven't had chicken pox it's a different story and you need to speak to your midwife/gp asap

Squeekey · 03/12/2024 14:01

If vaccination is an option I'd do that and keep him off.

My sibling caught CP when I was 2 weeks old. I was bottle fed so Mum shipped me off to two very delighted childless aunties for about 10 days and I didn't get it. I only found out about this in my 30's 😂

Crunchyqueen · 03/12/2024 14:37

@apricot9 the first dose protection level is excellent for this vaccine tho apparently. 2nd very very much just belts and braces.

JumpstartMondays · 03/12/2024 14:40

MabelMaybe · 03/12/2024 12:56

Look at how muc hte vaccination costs before going down that route. You need two doses and it's £££, especially if you're currently on / about to go on maternity leave.

And it's not a guarantee that the child wont catch it, regardless.

Anecdotal to anyone reading of course, but 3 friends whose little ones had the full chicken pox vaccination still actually caught chicken pox. One caught it from my little one, their mum was so brazen "oh they've had the vaccine so we'll come and play we won't catch it" low and behold they caught it.

Mandylovescandy · 03/12/2024 14:40

I think you need to decide how long you would keep him off for because CP could be going round nursery for a while. When ours had it it kept passing through various children over several months. 2nd DC got it then in the first round of it but there was a great product (some lotion we got from boots) that really reduced symptoms. When my first DC had CP it took 3 weeks to get symptoms from when exposed and I was pregnant but not as far along as you. My midwife said I had had it so no worries to unborn baby. I see what you mean about newborn though but your eldest might not show symptoms until they arrive anyway then even if you keep them off and hopefully breastfeeding (if you are) would help protect baby

meganna · 03/12/2024 14:44

If there's already children at nursery with spots then keeping him off will be pointless as it's most contagious before the spots start appearing, it's a bit like shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted.

My toddler caught chickenpox about a week after my youngest was born, along with RSV. DS2 then caught RSV first and 2 weeks to the day after DS1 came out in spots, he got a big blistery spot on his eyebrow. Not going to lie, he was really ill in hospital but it was more the RSV than the chickenpox. They think it was his body fighting 2 simultaneous infections that caused him to be so sick.

He bounced back though and has absolutely no lasting effects from it. And my eldest was exposed to chicken pox 3 times before he finally caught it, so it's not a given anyway!

Irridescantshimmmer · 03/12/2024 14:44

It does not matter what other people think, keep your 3 YO off nursery to protect your baby.

Babies are born without an immune system so you are right.

LuckyOrMaybe · 03/12/2024 14:53

To try to ease some of your worries just a little, the really scary newborn-with-chickenpox stories arise when the mother hasn't had chickenpox themselves either. Doctors try not to take chances with newborns around chickenpox but if you've had it, you are very likely to get the kind of experience others are describing with very mild symptoms even in a small baby.

Having said that, considering keeping your toddler at home for a bit may be more manageable than continuing to send them.

Very best wishes for the new arrival!