to think dh should not put dd (7) in a taxi and send her to school alone because he can't be bothered taking her there himself?

[SSSandy2]

Usually I take dd to school every morning but I'm sick at the moment and insisted on dh driving her there before going to work for a change. School here starts at 8 and he isn't an early riser, usually doesn't leave before 9ish, so on the whole I do it by train which is about 45 minutes. By car it is much faster of course.

So anyway they go off about 20 to 8 and I hear nothing more till I pick her up from school and she says he found a taxi outside in the street, put her in and she was sent off to school alone. He must have taken the car straight to work after placing her in the taxi.

He didn't order the taxi, didn't note the registration number or anything, so if the taxi had not for some reason delivered her safely to school, what then?

So am I being U or is this is ok?

Oh, and when you do have this conversation, don't forget to point out that in the event of an accident no-one would have known where she came from, who she was, what medical conditions she had or who to call to get hold of you! (until it became clear who had not arrived at school that day, which could have been a significant amount of time in an emergency)

but Total if I'm running late I'm not behind him, and even if we leave the house together I rarely watch him go into the first school gate...............

I am knowingly over-protective and controlling though

however do agree that new situation on a whim is no acceptable (hence YANBU on my first post)

ahh well when you put it like that Twiglett........

yeah but presumably he would just have to hang around 5-10 minutes if he needed to talk to you for any pressing reason?

agree with yorkish that if there had been an accident they would not have been able to contact you or DH.

this was very very irresponsible of him.

no he goes straight into school, I go straight down the road to take DS2 to nursery, I don't "check" that he's gone into school.......these days with him being up early and DS3 being up early he's usually had 2hrs or more to talk to me before he leaves

Op YANBU

FAQ, dd1 walks to school alone after we cross the main road. sometimes i dont see her in the playground as dd2 dawdles and we dont always get there until the doors open.

i would be probably be more angry than i have ever been if dp did that

i would be probably be more angry than i have ever been if dp did that

That's outrageous. I'd be livid.

ok thanks girls, so I am not being totally OTT unreasonable

Have to go and deal with dd now, back later

I sometimes allow my older 2 to walk to school together and I don't watch them go into the grounds but I'm not far behind them. However I would never just hail a taxi and send them off. There are too many unlicensed cabs out there and I've known people be robbed and read about girls being raped because they're too drunk to put up much defence - a child is no different. You wouldn't stop a random stranger who happened to be walking past your house to take your child to school - a taxi driver might seem different because it's their job but you still don't know what sort of person is woring as a taxi driver who would have seen a child alone as an opportunity if they were that way inclined...too risky. I would blow my top. It's obvious he wasn't running late and he was just being lazy. Even if he was running late I'm sure his work would have understood his obligations.

Twat, twunk, twob...

I would be really really cross if my DH did that to our DD. and I mean more than just tut cross. I mean shout really loudly at him for being SOOOOOO STUPID and then point out all the reasons why it was the silliest thing that he had ever done.....

I am cross for you....

YANBU in the slightest.

DH would be EXDH.

YANBU at all. I hope you can DH to admit he made a BIG mistake.

Huge difference walking 50 yards to school and being sent in a cab though, especially as she won't usually have done the journey in a cab so different seatbelts, no childseat etc.

But I would wait to hear what your dh has to say before deciding whether or not he is unreasonable personally.

YANBU

I'd be livid with DH if he did this.

I would be livid. YANBU

I think this is a different situation from a child walking to school (as my 7yo ds has been known to do).

To send my child in a cab I would want to know the firm, and have a pre-booked arrangement, i.e. to know that the firm knew their driver had taken this fare. And yes, I'd want a car seat.

There are situations where children (usually SN) are regularly sent into school in a taxi- in fact, this is what I have asked the council to fund for my disabled dd (no luck so far). But the point then is that it is a long-standing arrangement with a reputable firm and a driver who would be easy to track down if something went wrong.

So yes, I'd say this was irresponsible.

He's still at work so I called him there. Wasn't a very satisfactory conversation. "I had to get to a meeting and I'm sorry" he said.

He didn't seem to have thought at all what could have gone wrong or how dd felt about it. I wish if he had not had the time to accompany her, that he would have TOLD me that. I would rather have dragged myself out there no matter how sick I felt than to know she was sent half way across town by herself like that.

Sometimes I wonder how he can be so responsible in his job and sometimes so irresponsible outside of it

sorry, i hate to say it, but the man is a fuckwit of the first order

THanks everyone for the comments.

Well he explained they were at the garage getting the car out when he realised he had an early meeting that day and wouldn't make it if he had to drive dd to school first which is right across the other side of town from where he works (we live in the middle of those two places so to speak). Anyway at that moment the cab pulled up and he put her in it without really thinking it all through. He hadn't stopped to think whether it was safe.

Luckily for us it went well that time and I don't think he will ever put her in that situation again. Someone (Belgo?) asked what it cost. I found a receipt for 15 Euros in her schoolbag along with the change she'd been given. Where you wondering how far the trip was maybe?

I think I just have to organise some kind of reliable back-up for the very rare occasions where for some reason I can't get her to school myself so I don't have to rely on dh. Someone I can call at short notice and pay to accompany her to school - perhaps a retired woman who lives nearby. Don't know of anyone offhand.

I use a taxi firm sometimes for my DC. It's a large local firm, very professional and they have drivers with special licences which means that they can take un accompanied children. My DC are 12, 9 and 8 and they've been using taxi's for a while now. I don't drive, so if one is at home ill or something, then I will get the firm to bring them home and perhaps take them in if DH has to leave earlier than normal. I wouldn't just use a random taxi I'd found on the street.

He probably feels really bad about it now he's thought it through, and no doubt the OP will have explained to him in no uncertain terms why he shouldn't have done it! It's a 'men and work' thing perhaps, sometimes I think work is my DH's first love. He's obsessed.