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Original poster

To not feel 'maternal ' towards them ?

41 replies

PinkRetro · 02/12/2024 21:02

I am one of the oldest at work at age 40.
Many of my colleagues are aged between 20/26. One of my friends said 'I bet you feel really maternal towards them.'
Um, no. Maybe if they were under 12 I would but they are grown adults.. I don't find them adorable or cute or anything weird like that.

OP posts:
Ankleblisters · 02/12/2024 21:25

I'm with you OP. What a strange thing for your friend to say. It would be quite strange and inappropriate for you to feel maternal towards adult colleagues.

mynameiscalypso · 02/12/2024 21:29

How bizarre. I'm 40 and a lot of my colleagues are in their early 20s. I feel maternal towards my 5 year old son. I view someone in their 20s as about the same age as me!

purpleme12 · 02/12/2024 21:29

😂
I'm almost 40
I certainly don't feel maternal towards the younger ones! 😂😂

Original poster
PinkRetro · 02/12/2024 21:34

I definitely don't feel maternal or protective towards towards them. Maybe if I was a decade or two older I would but I definitely don't. Glad it's not just me being heartless!

OP posts:
CulturalNomad · 02/12/2024 21:37

Maternal? God no! If anything they'd remind me of how annoying I could be at that age😂

Odd thing for your friend to say🤔

Original poster
PinkRetro · 02/12/2024 21:41

It's weird though as I have always been mothered in the workplace even in my last job by women who were in their fifties or sixties. I guess it's an individual thing but as I said in my OP, I only feel that way about actual children not grown adults.
Glad it's not just me that thought it was odd. It felt kind of depressing also in some weird way.

OP posts:
BeMintBee · 02/12/2024 21:45

I don’t think I would have at forty when my kids were tweens. I’m late forties now with a 20 year old so would possibly feel a bit more maternal to people his age.

BeMintBee · 02/12/2024 21:47

I think it would be maternal in an age appropriate way though as in wanting to support them as young adults not in a cutting the crusts off their sandwich’s and offering to do their laundry way!

Zanatdy · 02/12/2024 21:49

There’s a young guy in team that sit near me, and all the older ladies mother him, I think he loves it!

WearyAuldWumman · 02/12/2024 21:49

I admit that I did feel a bit maternal towards my last cohort of probationers, but I was in my late 50s by then.

Brefugee · 02/12/2024 21:50

i am the oldest at my place by at least 20 years. One of my project managers is 10 days younger than my younger DC.

I don't feel maternal towards them, but i do like mentoring them, and i like watching how they run with new technology and so on to be excellent at their jobs. And occasionally they ask me how I'd approach something, or how we did something 20 years ago, and they sometimes adapt that.

It's been a lot of fun watching them over the last few years. But maternal? fuck no

Shinyandnew1 · 02/12/2024 21:59

I think that’s an odd thing to say! There are plenty of younger people at work and I don’t feel maternal to any of them! They are older than my own kids-maybe if they were the same age, I might, but I doubt it!

LoraPiano · 02/12/2024 22:14

What does mothering mean, in the context of work?

Renamed · 02/12/2024 22:18

I’m considerably older and don’t feel maternal towards any younger colleagues- the job is the job, the team’s the team, it’s hard work, we all do it!

Blibbleflibble · 02/12/2024 22:29

Can you imagine a 40 year old bloke being asked if he feels paternal to a bunch of 25 year old colleagues...

MyrtleStrumpet · 02/12/2024 23:09

I'm mid-50s and I just feel continual surprise that I'm old enough to be the mother of adults with jobs and partners who live separately from their own parents.

JasmineTea11 · 02/12/2024 23:16

It's so reductive to assume women go around being maternal to everyone their whole lives?! Absolute bollocks, tell her that.

Eyeballpaula · 02/12/2024 23:37

We have one man in his 20s who gets by getting older women to mother him (i think a deliberate tactic in a female dominated industry, as he isnt great at his job).

He said to me (39 at the time) how I was old enough to be be his mum - I was 12 years older than him! I pointed out by his calculations, he was old enough to have a 15yo and made it quite clear i wasn't interested in mothering him - just wanted him to do his job.

It worked on quite a few people though who raved about him and covered when he messed up.

DramaAlpaca · 03/12/2024 00:25

I'm 60. I don't feel in the least bit maternal towards my younger colleagues, some of whom are in their 20s.

WhoPutTheBomp · 03/12/2024 00:38

The only colleague I felt maternal about was a very fey young woman, early twenties, she was sort of ethereal and pallid and drifty. She didn't last long ( an office typing pool, which shows you how long ago this was, huh)

CulturalNomad · 03/12/2024 00:57

JasmineTea11 · 02/12/2024 23:16

It's so reductive to assume women go around being maternal to everyone their whole lives?! Absolute bollocks, tell her that.

Can't we just acknowledge that some of us aren't bursting with maternal instincts? Not all of us view everything in life thru the lens of "mothering".

I'm one of those women who has never been besotted by babies, I don't think all little kids are adorable (or even vaguely interesting) and I for damn sure don't feel maternal towards other adults.

A twenty-something colleague is a co-worker. It's a bit weird to think I need to have some warm/fuzzy feelings towards them.

stormee · 03/12/2024 01:15

@CulturalNomad
Love babies or not. At work, your adults. A 20 year old if your 50 you don't think of them as babies, they are grown respected adults working hard. You are colleagues and friends. You can look after each other but no it's really demeaning to think of them as children.

HeddaGarbled · 03/12/2024 01:16

It was just a throw-away attempt at humour, not worthy of being analysed to this degree.

However, don’t you watch them make mistakes and want to give them a bit of ‘older person, been there, done that, got the scars’ advice?

Catsmere · 03/12/2024 04:24

CulturalNomad · 03/12/2024 00:57

Can't we just acknowledge that some of us aren't bursting with maternal instincts? Not all of us view everything in life thru the lens of "mothering".

I'm one of those women who has never been besotted by babies, I don't think all little kids are adorable (or even vaguely interesting) and I for damn sure don't feel maternal towards other adults.

A twenty-something colleague is a co-worker. It's a bit weird to think I need to have some warm/fuzzy feelings towards them.

Show quote history

Hear, hear. I don't feel maternal to anyone of any age, unless they happen to be a cat.

LastNightMyPJsSavedMyLife · 03/12/2024 10:02

Yes I do. They are the same age as my youngest but then I am the maternal type.