To think I may have some sort of mental disorder

[twentytwentyfour2024]

Hi guys,
The subject is pretty out there I know, but hear me out please.

At first, I thought may have adhd but as time goes on it seem it could be more. I'm wondering if anyone has a condition/knows of anyone with a condition with my symptoms?
Certain things that I have noticed in myself are:

I am highly up or down depending on literally one person

I want things until I get them then novelty wears off

I am quite promiscuous (I know it is wrong but I take pride in knowing I'm good in bed as if it is a goal in life)

I can absolutely love a partner to death until a disagreement, then I want to call it off and never talk to them again and feel I don't love them

I take EVERY little thing to heart and it gets me down for days and makes me highly dislike the person who made me feel targeted

I feel everyone speaks bad about me behind my back and had very low opinions of me

Any idea? I'm almost 30 this needs sorting it's like being a toddler trapped inside a woman I need to sort myself out. Thanks

*ADD ON

I also change my mind LOTS and struggle to stick to one decision and I forget things all the time.

EUPD?

This sounds like you have a lot of EUPD traits.

Thanks so much for your comment.
I have wondered BPD as I read online but reallly unsure. How would I go about a diagnosis do you know please?

Well…whatever it is might be irrelevant. Learning to think better is what you need. And I think a professional could possibly help you with your thinking processes. Can you get some therapy?

I also thought it was worth having a read about EUPD. No one can diagnose you via Mumsnet so you’d need professional input. A word of warning that personality disorders are very difficult to treat. There may not be medication to take. Getting a better understanding of yourself might make life easier.

Thank you x

Thanks for your comment

You sound really self reflective, which means that there's huge hope you can work on/be aware of things that cause stress and unhappiness for you.

I resonate with a lot of what you describe, and I have ADHD. I did wonder for a long time if I had a personality disorder!

Mainly because of my emotional instability. But I had a great deal of trauma growing up, so I think this had an effect too.

Honestly, time and awareness have really helped; I no longer feel/think in such binary ways and I've found methods of keeping calm, and I'm less impulsive as a result.

I focus on my positive traits - kindness, creativity, amazing hyperfocus, and definitely not boring!

My ds is like some of this,he has rapid cycle bi polar disorder. It took 10 years of psychology and psychiatry to get a proper diagnosis for him. He also got angry, and frustrated, very depressed. Was put onto meds getting stronger and stronger doses. A few years ago,he said he was done with meds and useless therapy,he did start doing a degree in psychology,to try and help himself. Now it's yoga, excercise routine, very particular healthy eating, no alcohol or junk food,in fact everything has to be routine. Some of what you described sounds like sociopathic tendancies . Do you want to consciously change your behaviour? Have you always been like this,or is it a change of behaviour? I think you would need to speak to an expert therapist and get a formal diagnosis.

I resonate with lots of your list and was diagnosed with ADHD. However I think there can be a lot of similarities with ADHD, BPD and Bipolar. Women tend to be diagnosed BPD or Bipolar and men with ADHD. It's worth exploring.

Forgot to add - with what you say, I'd say you might have ADHD alongside very low self esteem. And I'd guess you've been through trauma of some sort.

Do you find your emotions are worse with PMT? It could be a mix of the above with hormonal sensitivity. I think true EUPD gets over diagnosed tbh.

I mean... I definitely think ADHD is there but when googling EUPD it resonates a lot and so do the causes tbh. I don't think it is bipolar. Two exs have said they think I have bipolar when I was with them but I know it isn't that I feel it could possible be EUPD

I haven't really seen a pattern tbh and I'm so disorganised I wouldn't even be able to to be honest

Unmanaged ADHD, esp in women, has been misdiagnosed as BPD/EuPD or for decades. Lack of emotional self-regulation, low self esteem (which often shows in promiscuity and overly intense attachment in relationships) are all typical of ADHD. Either way, I would speak to your GP about the fact that you are concerned and get a referral, or simply seek out an assessment privately.

People here can’t diagnose you, but from what you are saying, you are not happy and there may be something going on that assessment, counselling and potentially medication might address.. So I’d seek some help.

(Am AuDHD, with a ASD DS and AuDHD/poss EuPD DD, so do understand your concerns.)

EUPD has historically has been over diagnosed and instead of Complex PTSD.

ADHD is very linked to strong hormonal reactions and therefore PMDD too.

Many with ADHD didn't get the support in childhood they needed particularly emotionally so complex PTSD is likely not an uncommon comorbidity.

The other thing worth mentioning is that people who are ND are more at risk of developing personality disorders due to the fact they often go through a lot of trauma as children and teenagers.

So it's quite possible to have ADHD and EUPD.

There can be a lot of similar symptoms and misdiagnosis so it's really important to get someone to unpick it really well.

Oh another thing to consider - do you have any relatives that have ND diagnoses such as dyslexia, dyspraxia or ASD? That would suggest there is likely to be ADHD going on as neurodiversity often tends to run in families.

Or do you have a parent you suspect may have had a personality disorder? Because there can be a genetic component there to.

Looking at your family might help you work out what's going on (but not always).

Sounds like you have been researching BPD and are thinking that's what it is

Have you had a lot of trauma, because CPTSD can overlap a lot with BPD

I would also be careful seeking a diagnosis because BPD is hugely stigmatised and it can be a sort of black mark on your record. DBT is the treatment for BPD and I would see if there's any way you can access it without the diagnosis

It sounds a bit like EUPD.

However, I'd hugely caution against trying to get a diagnosis unless you r really really struggling with it. The reason I say that is, having worked in MH most of my adult life, this is the one disorder with a HUGE stigma (you may not see the stigma at first or even at all, but trust me, it's there and from.professionals not lay people)

You might assume.that when you get diagnosed people will.want to help and treatment will be available. You might even assume some compassion. However, MH professionals can be incredibly cruel about people.with this diagnosis..they will avoid them, treat them differently and once you have this label every single thing you need help for in the future (a chest infection, broken leg, depression) will be seen first through the eyes of EUPD.

OP, you may well.have EUPD but please be v careful.before getting this diagnosis attached to your notes.

A lot chimes with me as ADHD symptoms, have you read about RSD? Rejection sensitivity disorder, common with ADHD. That might explain some of the relational stuff.

“Very distressed neurodivergent” and/or neurodivergent who has experienced trauma can present an awful lot like EUPD. An ND diagnosis and using that as a springboard to learn about what you need is likely to be far more useful to you than an EUPD diagnosis - EUPD treatment (medical and how the medics treat you) can be brutal and traumatising in itself. (Full disclosure: I have AuDHD and, pre-diagnosis when I was very distressed, I would have met the EUPD diagnostic criteria. But, when calm, stable, and putting in place the things I need to thrive, I really, really don’t.)

Nobody here has a clue about whether you have a disorder, although plenty will be willing to diagnose you. If you're worried, see a doctor.

Psychologist here. I prefer not to work in a diagnostic way (as do many psychologists) and instead focus on understanding what the current difficulties are and what led to this. In psychological terms we call this a formulation. I find working within a medical model of diagnosis to be reductionist and overly simplistic, and don’t get me started on the issues with women being gaslighted with EUPD diagnoses as previous posters have mentioned!

A feeling of stuckness and emotional dysregulation plus interpersonal difficulties can be indicative of attachment issues / trauma in early life / chronic experiences of invalidation. The important thing is that therapy can help with this, however the NHS can be a postcode lottery. I also agree that some interventions which may be helpful (e.g certain types of group therapy, DBT) require a diagnosis - I have ethical issues with this type of gatekeeping as not everyone wants or needs a diagnosis, and not everyone fully understands the implication of a diagnosis at the time. If you can go private this makes things easier however the costs can be substantial. Best of luck OP.

@BaklavaRocks exactly this.

I was diagnosed with BPD in my twenties and not even told

Turns out I don't have it. Do have autism and ADHD and abuse in my childhood. Menopause has been a revelation in terms of yep I had PMDD too - eldest already diagnosed and youngest needs a referral because she's bloody hideous depending on her cycle.

It has definitely gone against me and I hate that it's on my medical notes. Worst of all just abandoned by the medical profession regardless- no MH support.

I can't be all "it's so freeing getting my ND diagnosis" I'm just sad and angry at how difficult it's all been, the years on meds that never helped, having 4DC when I would have made a different decision had I known. So on and so on.