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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ex BF sleeping with his brother’s wife

29 replies

LalaPaloosa2024 · 30/11/2024 19:37

What would you do? An ex boyfriend revealed triumphantly that he had slept with his eldest brother’s girlfriend and then told this brother what a great girl he had, prompting the brother to propose. They are now married. This ex boasted about this to me and my best friend. He went into detail about the two of them being the last people awake at his brother’s villa, and how they played pool for kisses, which ended up being sex on the pool table. The next morning his brother insisted his girlfriend take my ex to Singapore and make sure he has a good time. Apparently they were kicking each other under the table as he said this. They flew to Singapore with the eldest brother’s credit card and apparently “D*cked like rabbits”. My ex then boasted that the eldest brother was their mother’s favourite and he had taken what the eldest brother had. He was extremely pleased with himself and had always been jealous of this brother’s financial success, while he had not been successful himself and had a lot of debt. My best friend immediately condemned this, likening my ex to Hitler. Neither of us has spoken to him since. Does the brother deserve to know? Is it unreasonable to keep it to myself?

OP posts:
snowbellsundersnow · 30/11/2024 19:39

He sounds like a horrible person but I don’t think it’s your place to get involved. I’d just distance myself from all of them.

Itsmeagainunfortunately · 30/11/2024 19:46

How do you know he is telling the truth OP?

pikkumyy77 · 30/11/2024 19:48

Ugh. Just ignore everything and everyone involved.

PullTheBricksDown · 30/11/2024 19:49

Wasn't the Ryan Giggs story quite like this?

I would avoid him henceforth. Either completely morally off base, or a deranged liar, or possibly both.

LalaPaloosa2024 · 30/11/2024 19:49

snowbellsundersnow · 30/11/2024 19:39

He sounds like a horrible person but I don’t think it’s your place to get involved. I’d just distance myself from all of them.

Yes, I agree. I have done. But how do people live with themselves behaving this way?

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 30/11/2024 19:49

🤔

LizzoBennett · 30/11/2024 19:52

I reckon he wants you to tell his brother. He wants the secret to get out but he doesn't want to tell his brother himself. He wants to see his brother hurt as knowing he has cheated isn't enough for him anymore. It might even be bothering your ex that his brother is still living a happy life.

I feel awful for the brother.

ThinWomansBrain · 30/11/2024 19:53

Your post reads as if this (including telling you) was in the past, when you were together. You didn't feel the need to tell the brother at the time?

he is your ex - an immature unpleasant sounding one, but distance yourself and move on rather than playing the drama queen,

YouFoundMe · 30/11/2024 19:57

Why would the brother suggest his gf takes his brother to Singapore? Alone I'm assuming... was it a work trip ?

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 30/11/2024 20:51

My best friend immediately condemned this, likening my ex to Hitler.

Does your best friend know who Hitler is?

Raffaelli · 30/11/2024 21:08

Honestly OP it is highly likely that this is one big lie. If he is really jealous of his brother he might be telling ridiculous stories knowing that they will get back to him and split them up. Sounds wild but some people really are that unhinged. Of course they would deny and say 'my ex is crazy and trying to get back at me'. Maybe it did happen, who knows but I really wouldn't get involved. Imagine how you would feel if it turned out to be a lie.

beetr00 · 30/11/2024 21:29

aye ok @LalaPaloosa2024

cestlavielife · 30/11/2024 21:39

Sounds like the brother knew?

"his brother insisted his girlfriend take my ex to Singapore and make sure he has a good time."

Maybe they have a sharing situation
Hope the girl is happy

LalaPaloosa2024 · 01/12/2024 04:06

Itsmeagainunfortunately · 30/11/2024 19:46

How do you know he is telling the truth OP?

There was plenty of detail given, but I have also wondered if it’s true or not. My gut feeling is that it is true.

The girlfriend (now wife) and his brother were trying for a baby. It wasn’t working. My ex says she said to him at the hotel - let’s make a baby and he said how “psycho” she is. Didn’t stop him sleeping with her though.

OP posts:
LalaPaloosa2024 · 01/12/2024 04:08

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 30/11/2024 20:51

My best friend immediately condemned this, likening my ex to Hitler.

Does your best friend know who Hitler is?

Obviously.

he explained on the scale of morality, where Hitler is at one end and normal people are at the other, my ex is closer to Hitler. The ex then tried to resile from the whole sorry tale. Neither of us were amused or laughing. I don’t think horrified was the reaction he hoped for.

OP posts:
LalaPaloosa2024 · 01/12/2024 04:10

cestlavielife · 30/11/2024 21:39

Sounds like the brother knew?

"his brother insisted his girlfriend take my ex to Singapore and make sure he has a good time."

Maybe they have a sharing situation
Hope the girl is happy

Maybe. Ex was visiting them both in the foreign country where they live. Their parents were also staying. The brother had to work the next day so wanted his brother looked after.

OP posts:
LalaPaloosa2024 · 01/12/2024 04:11

Raffaelli · 30/11/2024 21:08

Honestly OP it is highly likely that this is one big lie. If he is really jealous of his brother he might be telling ridiculous stories knowing that they will get back to him and split them up. Sounds wild but some people really are that unhinged. Of course they would deny and say 'my ex is crazy and trying to get back at me'. Maybe it did happen, who knows but I really wouldn't get involved. Imagine how you would feel if it turned out to be a lie.

He is incredibly jealous of his brother. There may be truth in what you’re saying.

OP posts:
LalaPaloosa2024 · 01/12/2024 04:12

YouFoundMe · 30/11/2024 19:57

Why would the brother suggest his gf takes his brother to Singapore? Alone I'm assuming... was it a work trip ?

To keep him entertained while the brother worked. It’s a short flight away. Apparently a common thing to do from where they were.

OP posts:
LalaPaloosa2024 · 01/12/2024 04:15

ThinWomansBrain · 30/11/2024 19:53

Your post reads as if this (including telling you) was in the past, when you were together. You didn't feel the need to tell the brother at the time?

he is your ex - an immature unpleasant sounding one, but distance yourself and move on rather than playing the drama queen,

No it was a few years after we broke up. I ended it, but we stayed friends. It was a fizzle out break up, not a dramatic one so staying friends wasn’t such an issue. However, I didn’t speak to him again after this. It’s played on my mind a lot. I think it’s such a betrayal of the brother but in reality I don’t think it’s my place to say anything, is it?

OP posts:
LalaPaloosa2024 · 01/12/2024 04:16

LizzoBennett · 30/11/2024 19:52

I reckon he wants you to tell his brother. He wants the secret to get out but he doesn't want to tell his brother himself. He wants to see his brother hurt as knowing he has cheated isn't enough for him anymore. It might even be bothering your ex that his brother is still living a happy life.

I feel awful for the brother.

I feel awful for the brother too.

OP posts:
LalaPaloosa2024 · 01/12/2024 04:17

Itsmeagainunfortunately · 30/11/2024 19:46

How do you know he is telling the truth OP?

I don’t. It would be better if it was a lie, but there was enough detail to make it either a really well thought out lie, or the truth.

OP posts:
Edingril · 01/12/2024 04:19

LalaPaloosa2024 · 01/12/2024 04:17

I don’t. It would be better if it was a lie, but there was enough detail to make it either a really well thought out lie, or the truth.

Why does it matter he is nothing to do with you, this is all weird sounds like an obsession

XWKD · 01/12/2024 04:24

It sounds like a BS boast to me. Even if it isn't, you shouldn't get involved. It doesn't have anything to do with you.

Fraaahnces · 01/12/2024 04:51

Yes. They have admitted to stealing as well as cheating. He can report them for theft. Do it.

Copperoliverbear · 01/12/2024 05:11

It's none of your concern, next time he try's to talk to you just say I don't want to listen to your shit and walk away.

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