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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off at dp?

53 replies

rainbowbaby2 · 30/11/2024 11:15

So for a bit of context, I'm 22 weeks pregnant with a stinking head cold and have a toddler who's just recovering from croup.
Last night I asked if DP could do bedtime so I could rest which he was fine with. He then went out to meet a friend for a drink at our village pub.
I went downstairs to get a glass of water and the house was an absolute tip. Food left out everywhere, every toy was out. Fine. Was expecting him to come back and do the basics of the cleaning but he decided to stay up until 2am to get it tidy as today we had planned to put our Christmas decs up.
I got up with DS this morning at 6:30am so DP could have a lie in. Feeling rough as anything and still dealing with sickness but you get it done anyway. Now it got to 11am and DP still wasn't awake so we decided to go and wake him up. I took him a nice coffee. He completely snapped at me and said he'd been up all night cleaning and that I don't appreciate him. I said thank you and of course I appreciate it but he knew we had plans today to put up our decs and I didn't ask him to stay up that late knowing we had plans today. DS is so bored and desperate to start. DP is saying we have all afternoon. We don't as he knows we have a few different things planned. AIBU???

OP posts:
Original poster
rainbowbaby2 · 30/11/2024 14:15

MagnoliaGirlie · 30/11/2024 13:45

I'd get out of the house with the toddler and maybe go to a cafe for a little lunch, and maybe to a shop to choose a couple of decorations for DS's bedroom? So that it occupies your DS, you get some fresh air, then you can still do something a bit Christmassy with your son?

Yeah that's a great idea, thank you.

OP posts:
afrikat · 30/11/2024 14:50

rainbowbaby2 · 30/11/2024 12:53

He's not unpleasant but I agree he is being so right now. I'm having another child with him because he's an amazing Dad and partner normally. Any time I want him to and he can he will take DS out so I can have some me time. He took DS out all day yesterday so I could rest and have a day for me. 95% of the time he is a caring and loving partner. He's just like any man. A pain in the arse sometimes.

When I say he talks to me like this quite often, it's if we bicker. He can't cope with arguments so will lash out by swearing, then have some space and be fine again.

Show quote history

He's just like any man. A pain in the arse sometimes.

This really stuck out to me. My husband has never, in our 17 years together, raised his voice, sworn at me, or told me to fuck off. On the odd occasion we have a disagreement we talk it through calmly or if one/both of us are starting to get wound up we step away until we can talk rationally. He's never got in a mood and stomped around like a child. And he's never been 'a pain in the arse'. You can justify your husband's behaviour by telling yourself that all men can be like this, but that's not true

Numberfish · 28/04/2025 23:36

rainbowbaby2 · 30/11/2024 11:15

So for a bit of context, I'm 22 weeks pregnant with a stinking head cold and have a toddler who's just recovering from croup.
Last night I asked if DP could do bedtime so I could rest which he was fine with. He then went out to meet a friend for a drink at our village pub.
I went downstairs to get a glass of water and the house was an absolute tip. Food left out everywhere, every toy was out. Fine. Was expecting him to come back and do the basics of the cleaning but he decided to stay up until 2am to get it tidy as today we had planned to put our Christmas decs up.
I got up with DS this morning at 6:30am so DP could have a lie in. Feeling rough as anything and still dealing with sickness but you get it done anyway. Now it got to 11am and DP still wasn't awake so we decided to go and wake him up. I took him a nice coffee. He completely snapped at me and said he'd been up all night cleaning and that I don't appreciate him. I said thank you and of course I appreciate it but he knew we had plans today to put up our decs and I didn't ask him to stay up that late knowing we had plans today. DS is so bored and desperate to start. DP is saying we have all afternoon. We don't as he knows we have a few different things planned. AIBU???

God he did everything you asked and now you’re hovering over him resting because you ‘have plans’. I think that’s unreasonable and naggy. Just do something else.

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