DH thinks physical intimacy equates to love. I see it as an element of a loving relationship, he thinks he’s entitled to it when he wants it, wants me to walk around naked when we’re upstairs because he says it’s what loving couples do, and expects to have access to my body throughout the night eg to ‘hold me’ by his hands on boobs/privates and doesn’t like me moving his hands and showing I have a choice in this, or just so I can sleep. He says he’s not being controlled by me telling him where he can put his hands. Am I wrong now seeing I have a choice in this? I had zero awareness of this when we met 30 years ago, and I have been doing some work to try and understand the dynamics of our relationship which often feels unhealthy. He is very charming outside the home, very sociable and helpful. At home he can be very helpful on a practical level but blows hot and cold and gets angry when things don’t go his way, but if I point this out I become the problem for nagging or being on his back about stuff I’m not ok with. I’ve spent most of the 30 years feeling scared of him and becoming isolated from friends and family, but not recognising this. He generally storms off in a mood and goes out and makes subtle threats if I challenge him. He keeps getting angry (because I’m now seeing his behaviour as not ok and this means I’ve changed eg I’m challenging him) and this reality is killing the relationship especially the physical side, which is creating a cycle because he’s getting more angry about not getting his own way and I’m asking him to understand why him being angry when things don’t go his way and feeling entitled to my body is the problem for me.