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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is ExH entitled to enter property after all this time?

157 replies

Lollygirl15 · 28/11/2024 07:51

Been separated 8 years but kept family home in joint names until DC finished education. I have paid mortgage solely. He has own place and all belongings were sorted on separation so has nothing at the house. Been fairly amicable until recently but strained now as we are divorcing and sorting finances. After one of his solicitor appointments he mentioned having a key! New door was fitted a few years ago after old one broke and he has never had a key.
I understand that as joint owner he has a legal right of entry and I’d happily let him if if he had a legitimate reason but surely after all these years he can’t get a locksmith to break in or come change the lock? He has no ID for the house. Surely I have a right to family life and privacy?

OP posts:
MyHangryWriter · 28/11/2024 09:35

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 28/11/2024 09:36

HappyTwo · 28/11/2024 09:24

Why have you soley been paying the mortgage on something he owns jointly?

Because she’s been living there. He’s paying rent elsewhere

AConcernedCitizen · 28/11/2024 09:50

OP, has anything else happened/been said that caused you to make the leap from "Do you have a spare key?" to thinking you're going to come home to your locks changed?

Could it have been innocent?

NotBadConsidering · 28/11/2024 09:55

Why should the OP give her ex 50% of any profit gained from her paying the mortgage by herself for the last 8 years? He benefits from renting and letting her pay the mortgage. She doesn’t benefit. Any profit on the house from her sole upkeep is only 50% of what she thinks it is.

It’s the “split the equity equally” part that’s the problem. Either they sorted it at the time - too late for that now - or the equity shouldn’t be split equally based on the value added by the upkeep of the payments by the OP.

Mumofoneandone · 28/11/2024 10:02

If he hasn't been paying any mortgage for the last 8 years, surely that needs to be taken into account when you agree a settlement.
Also, I would be a bit concerned about him suddenly wanting a key to the property. Can't see any reason for him to need one!

Iamnotalemming · 28/11/2024 10:06

A locksmith shouldn't force entry by changing locks on a closed door without ID and evidence of residence.
If you are feeling paranoid you could get one of those doorbells that alerts you to movement so you are aware if he tried anything batshit.
Good luck finalising everything.

NewGreenDuck · 28/11/2024 10:10

Can no one think of any good reason why a person might not want to gain entry to a property that s/he jointly owns?
I'm not making any judgment here but don't you think that if, finally, the divorce is being finalised then ensuring that the property is in a good state of repair might not be one?
OP, I'm not suggesting that you have done anything amiss BTW, but some would neglect a property on purpose.

MarliaST · 28/11/2024 10:11

Wellingtonspie · 28/11/2024 08:22

Legally he can move back in if he wants. Yes a locksmith would open the door for him. His on the deeds that’s what £3 to download online simple. How do you think landlords get back into properties where tenants have left but changed the locks. Locksmith as a legal owner

Yes, he can move back in too. Mine threatened, other woman in tow. He used it as leverage to sell.

KoalaCalledKevin · 28/11/2024 10:16

what I’m asking is if a locksmith is likely to agree to change a lock if he doesn’t live here? I assume he would need a land registry to prove he’s on deeds as he won’t have any paperwork and isn’t on electoral role

I imagine locksmiths change locks all the time for people without paperwork. If I was locked out of my house, I wouldn't have proof to hand that I lived there. I'd maybe be able to pull up something on my phone but I imagine it would be easy to fake.

Allergictoironing · 28/11/2024 10:17

The regular outgoings of paying of the mortgage vs the exH paying rent isn't the real issue, it's the increase in value of the house. Though an argument could be made that it's just the interest on the mortgage that's equivalent to the rent, we can probably ignore that in this case.

On average, house prices have increased around 50% in the time since they split. So if the house value had been £200k split at the time they separated, they would have got £100k each. If the house is now worth £300k, they get £150k each, which is a considerable difference. But also in that time, the house will only be worth the higher amount because the OP has been maintaining the property which is a cost her exH won't have had with rentals.

So very complex trying to work out what is morally fair, even if everything stays amicable.

wombat15 · 28/11/2024 10:20

TheSilkWorm · 28/11/2024 09:34

It's not about morality. She's been paying into the equity of the house every month in her mortgage payments. 50% of the capital should have been paid by him, if he expected to receive 50% of the equity. As it is, she's paid his half for him and should therefore keep that part.

However this is why it's foolish to leave financial agreements for years. This should have been sorted when they split.

In that case OP should have paid half of his rent.

YourAzureEagle · 28/11/2024 10:22

As joint owner he has the right to move in if he wants, or apply to the court to force a sale, at any time.

YourAzureEagle · 28/11/2024 10:25

KoalaCalledKevin · 28/11/2024 10:16

what I’m asking is if a locksmith is likely to agree to change a lock if he doesn’t live here? I assume he would need a land registry to prove he’s on deeds as he won’t have any paperwork and isn’t on electoral role

I imagine locksmiths change locks all the time for people without paperwork. If I was locked out of my house, I wouldn't have proof to hand that I lived there. I'd maybe be able to pull up something on my phone but I imagine it would be easy to fake.

Quite right, I'm an electrician, I recently did a kitchen re-wire, never asked who owned it, assumed the customer did, turned out to be a council property - do I care, no, I got paid

Same with a locksmith unless it has patented locks fitted (Brahma, Chubb etc) in which case the keys have to be ordered from the manufacturers given a PIN number. of course you can still drill out and replace the lock.

CountryCob · 28/11/2024 10:29

Do you think he wants a key to get a valuation? I think that is quite likely myself. I would get records together of your sole mortgage payments and all other contributions you can, improvement s etc. You need to establish how much of the house he owns.

Shouldbedoing · 28/11/2024 10:35

He can't just walk in unannounced if he is no longer habitually resident there. Imagine if a landlord did that, just because they owned the place. He has to arrange a mutually convenient time to visit the property.

ThanksItHasPockets · 28/11/2024 10:42

LogicVoid · 28/11/2024 08:57

Surely you don't mean splitting the equity equally when you have been paying the mortgage on your own for eight years?

This!

Wellingtonspie · 28/11/2024 10:44

Surely he still gets half other wise she should be paying half market rent to him for his half the property.

Cherrysoup · 28/11/2024 10:45

Tumbler2121 · 28/11/2024 09:00

Take this as a warning not to believe anything he says, in particular “my solicitor says”. It’s as likely to be a man down the pub.

he may well be looking for half the equity, although you’ve paid the mortgage all this time.

She says equity will be 50/50 and he has the legal right to enter, even if it means breaking in. Can't be done for criminal damage/illegal entry if he's on the mortgage.

Whothefuckdoesthat · 28/11/2024 10:55

If he’s the type to do things just to show you that he can, then I’d try and be very blasé about it; ‘oh yes, sorry, I’ve been rushing about, I must get you one cut’. Don’t let him think that you don’t want to give him a key. If he thinks you have no objection to him having one, he’ll probably be far less likely to want to prove to you that it’s not your decision.

Softly softly catchee monkey. The second the ink is dry on the very last bit of paperwork, you can tell him to sod right off. But until then, it’s definitely better to take a low key approach than charge in, all guns blazing.

dontlistentome · 28/11/2024 11:01

I think if you've remained married then your finances remain legally shared. The combined couple has needed the house and the rented place for the last 8 years. The combined couple has also been paying for the mortgage and the rent for the last 8 years. So when they finally get divorced the pot will be split at that point, effectively taking into account both mortgage and rent because both have been taken out of the finances each month for those 8 years.

If you want to break apart the finances and earn / save your own money separately from your partner, you need to divorce.

And yeah, he has a right to enter. He'd be a bit of a dick to use it. Get that divorce sorted.

Cantalever · 28/11/2024 11:04

He may be a joint owner, but as he does not live there, and it is your home, I am surprised that so many on here say he has a right of entry. Surely he is in the same situation as a landlord whon owns a property that is rented to someone as their home? There is a distinction between being an owner or joint owner, and living in one's home, A landlord cannot just turn up and go in whenever they want - they must make an appointment. Not sure if the other party has a legal obligation to let them in, though. Can you get a solicitor's advice OP?

Motnight · 28/11/2024 11:05

Cantalever · 28/11/2024 11:04

He may be a joint owner, but as he does not live there, and it is your home, I am surprised that so many on here say he has a right of entry. Surely he is in the same situation as a landlord whon owns a property that is rented to someone as their home? There is a distinction between being an owner or joint owner, and living in one's home, A landlord cannot just turn up and go in whenever they want - they must make an appointment. Not sure if the other party has a legal obligation to let them in, though. Can you get a solicitor's advice OP?

Is he charging the Op rent?

Octavia64 · 28/11/2024 11:06

He's not a landlord.

They are married although living separately and he and she both jointly legally own the house.

The marriage creates an association between them that does not exist between landlord and tenant.

dontlistentome · 28/11/2024 11:06

There is a clear legal structure available for landlords and tenants. Absolutely none of that applies here because there is no landlord-tenant relationship, or agreement. They're joint owners of a house.

Edingril · 28/11/2024 11:08

Shouldbedoing · 28/11/2024 10:35

He can't just walk in unannounced if he is no longer habitually resident there. Imagine if a landlord did that, just because they owned the place. He has to arrange a mutually convenient time to visit the property.

Can you explain how that actually works legally not 'well i have decided' but the actual law around it

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